To feel I don't love my kids

[meadowposy]

I just don't. I like them and I most definitely do right by them and I put them first but I don't think I love them really.

I suppose as long as they don't find out it doesn't matter does it?

TheWhale Not finding your post very helpful. Telling people they should feel a certain way isn’t really going to make it happen. Empathy can help them explore why they’re feeling this way and take steps to address it.

My point was that when you’re stressed and unsupported it can be difficult to have the space to feel positively about anything. You might not even realise how deeply you feel about your children. The fact that OP is posting here demonstrates that she cares enough to want things to be different.

It's fact that there is a certain way people should feel about their children and obviously this woman thinks she doesn't love her children so she needs help not told that it's just because she is stressed or tired. No need to sugar coat life for people all the time, we are adults. At no point did I say that my opinion would make her feel differently I was agreeing it's not normal to feel like that about your children, she already knows this.

OP does not need her feeling reinforced by you all telling her that it's normal to want rid of your children and hate caring for them. One person. Actually said "I hate being a mum" what!!. Your lucky children! They must love you being their mum.

thewhale. Nowhere in your original post did you say she needed help. But glad to see you’re acknowledging it now.

Hi,

Maybe the problems you are having with your husband are distorting everything else at the moment.

The stress of dealing with his drug taking and the threat of him being found out at work must be hard enough.

You should go to see a Doctor and tell them everything so that they can help you.

Go to your doctor and get help urgently. Your poor kids.

Marmitesoldiers
Plenty of people stated that obvious fact I didn't think it was necessary.

From what you've said it sounds like you have PND. You are overwrought and physically and mentally exhausted. This doesn't mean you don't love your kids, it means you don't love your life at the moment.

Not to minimise what you're going through as these feelings must be very unsettling, on top of your obvious exhaustion, but this is not uncommon and it does suggest that you are struggling to cope, as opposed to pointing to some innate and immutable feeling about your children. I have had a couple of friends go through this and in both cases they have come out the other side and grown to be very close to their DCs.

You should go to the GP. I hope you feel better and start to find a way to negotiate through it. Is there anyone you can confide in?

TheWhale. You didnt think it was necessary to suggest that she needed help, just to give her a good kicking because she doesn’t feel the way you think she should feel. Well done.

Nobody’s saying it’s a good thing to feel like that about your children. What’s coming across to me is that people are both empathising with how she feels and encouraging her to get support.