To be utterly fucking fed up of cooking/ providing food

[AveAtqueVale]

The three year old rejects every meal that isnt plain pasta or chips. I serve food now with literally no hope at all he’ll touch it. Made shepherds pie tonight which he has previously eaten and liked, but he didn’t touch it, so has gone to bed without dinner as I’m fed up (he’s had a banana, so not starving). At ten months the baby seems to be going the same way, I’m surely partly because he sees his older brother rejecting stuff. DH is a shift worker so needs to eat at odd hours, hates all fruit and most veg, and has recently been diagnosed with dairy intolerance. I’m coeliac, and also try to eat low carb as it’s the only way I’ve ever been able to lose weight. There is not one single fucking meal that everyone in the family will/ can eat and I’m so bloody fed up with it. I used to love cooking but now it’s the most unholy chore. And the sheer waste of food served to the children and then thrown away is ridiculous. I’ve also just looked in the kitchen and apparently even the sodding cat is now turning his nose up at his dinner, despite the fact it has tuna on top. ARGH.

YANBU it's a pain I have one with add so no funny textures, one lactose intolerant vegetarian, baby will only eat pasta fruit and yogurt and dp is the worst of all he won't eat fruit or veg...I have to cook multiple meals most of the week and a lot if the time I get moaned at about something or other. The only thing they all agree on is pizza I want to go on strike!

Are you sure you're allowing them to get hungry enough before meals?

I think so, Worra. DS1 had pasta for lunch at 12, and then an apple at 2. He ate nothing then til dinner at 6.15. The baby has had milk in the afternoon though so maybe he wasn’t hungry enough.

Oh that really sucks. I don’t know whether to offer suggestions or just a stiff drink. Cooking is something that should be fab but in reality is often grunt work.

Can you make a plan of 7 like it or lump it super basic meals based on mainly meat/fish and two veg that can be adapted for individuals and warmed up later for dh.

Eg
Minced beef and roast potatoes plus veg
Spag bol and pasta (just with veg for you)
Sausages/fish fingers and mash and beans
Salmon and brocolli
Roast
That sort of thing?

Then once or twice a week cook something really nice for yourself only? Or a pizza for the dc?

I hear you absolutely.

At 18 months, our DD ate beautifully - salmon and sweet potato; chicken curry; beef chilli; vegetable pasta - all home made.

By 2 she was spitting out most of it. Now she exists primarily on cold meat, cheese and fruit. I've just tried and failed to get her to eat houmous, veg, a sandwich and an apple, and all she's condescended to eat is a big piece of turkey breast and some cheese. DP is totally fed up of cooking for her and just wants to give her annabel karmel ready meals; I hate doing that but can also see his point, when they all end up spat out and all over the floor.

Of course at nursery she eats everything and asks for seconds...

Although now I’m internally chortling at the idea of starving DH until he’s compelled to force down some ratatouille .

Luckily my two ate everything when they were young, even my cooking! As they got older they got much more fussier. My DS, now 20, won't eat vegetables- even though he loved them as a child. My DDs diet changes almost every time she comes visiting. I have to cook 2 different meals, sometimes 3 each night as I'm vegan, DH is vege and DS is basically carnivorous .

Spare a thought for my DM, my DB lived in only luncheon meat, salad cream or ketchup sandwiches and chips for years

Sandwiches? Will they eat sandwiches?

Yanbu. I'm a decade in and meal plan and so fed up with it.
Both kids are fussier than when they were toddlers. I have a rota of veggie lasagne, fish fingers, tomato pasta, toad in the hole, pizza and chips & nuggets after swimming.

Let them have what they will eat and serve a tiny portion of veg or salad on the side. Throwing food out is daft and food should never be a subject for conflict. For grazing have a tiny bowl of chopped fruit. They will eat again at some point.

Agree that a meal plan is a good idea for the adults and hopefully your DH takes his share of cooking. It is soul destroying to have food, lovingly prepared, rejected so cut out the loving preparation and do the bare minimum.

Brown I may just take that rotation and run with it . I’m so fed up. I’ve been on maternity leave for a year and have worked really hard at improving the food situation and it just seems to go backwards. I’m going back to university on Tuesday for my final year, will be spending three hours a day commuting, and the thought of getting home and spending even more time cooking meals that will be rejected is really upsetting me. DH does take his turn but only with easy stuff, and only when he’s here. So solution is obv more easy stuff. PinkBall they will (usually) eat sandwiches, so actually that’s a really good idea too for days when they’ve had a hot lunch and decent afternoon snack at nursery.

We do what we call "picky platters" with little sandwiches or mini rolls, oatcakes or crackers, cocktail sausages, cherry tomatoes, cucumber sticks, hard boiled egg, grapes, pieces of apple, rolled up sliced ham, cheese etc and they often eat more than they do with a labour intensive, home cooked meal. It's not how I imagined it would be but it saves my sanity.

My 3 year old is like this. He was lots of finger type food and if it's oven stuff likefisj fingers or nuggets I chop up cucumber and tomatos with it. Luckily he will eat most fruit. It won't touch cooked veggies.

Yeah cooked veggies are poison here too. He will nibble broccoli but the only vegetable he really eats is cucumber. Luckily fruit is popular here too xxxxxx

Oops sorry for the xs! Texting DH at the same time .

this made me laugh. It sounds quite a bit likely house and I truly feel for you.

A 10 month old will get a lot of nutrients from the boob still, so i wouldn't worry about calories or nutrients for the little one, little portions are enough for them.
My three year old only eats meals of pasta or pizza. I think it might be because he snacks a lot on finger food all day, so isn't hungry enough to bother with lunch and dinner :/

When mine were like this, my mum suggested that I stop cooking and just give them plenty of nutritious snacks throughout the day. They don't have to have a hot, cooked dinner in order to be well fed - if you manage to give them some fruit and veg to snack on, milk, hard boiled egg etc, then all their needs are being met.
My hv also pointed out that their tummies are small, so small regular snacks of things line bananas may be enough to fill them up.

My 3 year old isn’t horrific, but she’s still pretty fussy.
I just started with meals I knew she’d eat and then added stuff in gradually.
It started as plain pasta. Then I put in a bit of grated cheese, then a spoon of cream cheese, then a few weeks later I put a tiny bit of pesto in. Then a few weeks later I put small pieces of ham in.
It was a gradual step over months, but eventually she would eat plain pasta with some very very smooth puréed Bolognese. Now she’ll eat bolognese the same as we have it.
Same with rice. She refused to eat it plain, so I used to mix it with grated cheese, and then some tomato purée which I puréed some veg into.
I now have 5 balanced meals I keep rotating and know she will eat.
Can you start off with the things your LO will eat and maybe add tiny bits of other food to them?
I’m still worried about her starting school as the school dinners are pretty adventurous, like ham and leek pie, gammon and egg, fish pie etc. But if she’s hungry she’ll eat!

I've just remembered that my oldest objected to herbs and used to make me pick out any visible basil in pasta sauce! He's fine now he's 21 and eats everything in sight!

I fully understand you OP!
I'm forever on a diet so need one kind of meal
DP could eat a takeaway every night and have a six pack all year round so thinks he will wither away if he eats 'diet' food
4 year old DC has multiple allergies and was diagnosed late so has developed food aversion to anything wet, mixed up, in a sauce etc as they don't trust food an need to be able to see each ingredient.
Small victory they love broccoli and kale (as long as its not touching anything else)
Drives me nutty but it's psychological

Sounds soul destroying. I'd batch cook what I could. Whether it's for you/dh or the kids so you have one less to worry about. I have freezer bags with single portions of Bolognese and pasta for dd.

She won't eat sandwiches so she gets rice cakes or cheese crackers etc and ham/cheese etc separately.

Don't forget you need less to eat when it's hot. DDs end up with fish cakes or fish fingers and freezer veg about once a week at the mo. No biggie.

You have my sympathy dc 1 has coeliac. Eats a range of meat and veg. Dc2 has autism. Very specific about food. No meat but will eat veg. Dc3 has coeliac, disease and severe autism. Now barely eats. Diet consists of toast and tomato and veg pasta. Come meal times I literally want to smash my head into a wall.

Feel your pain! I do 99.99999% of the cooking and when I complained how difficult it can be dh said it should be a pleasure and his mum always really enjoyed it. How she laughed when I told her!😂😂😂😂.

I make a weekly plan for dinner, for everybody to See. I cook what i like. I Also make kids friendly meals but not always. Fed up with kids rejecting my cooking. So. If they dont like it, they are free to make a sandwich. I dont cook seperately meals for everybody. But they are free to make a sandwich og they want. Brought my pleasure for cooking back.