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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want royal wedding fever forced on my DC

249 replies

rosybell · 18/05/2018 16:00

So my DD is in reception. They are having a royal wedding party at school today. Whilst I think this is fine I hate that they have been told to bring clothes to change into- a dress or a shirt (this is what the info given to parents said). Of course most girls have taken princess dresses. I have now seen photos from the party showing the children in boy girl pairs walking down an red carpet 'aisle'

I'm all for imaginative play but some of these kids looked bewildered. AIBU to complain to the school? There is something that really doesn't feel right about it - maybe because it seems like it more for the adults than the kids let alone all the princess pressure the girls must feel.

OP posts:
Original poster
rosybell · 18/05/2018 16:57

Hmm I guess maybe I wbu to complain judging from the replies.

I have nothing against a party for the royal wedding- in fact after school today (separate to the reception royal wedding party) there were cream teas for sale in the playground and it was great. Not anti party or fun at all.

But- the kids did not all love it. My DD was really embarrassed by having to hold a boys hand. My friends DS was equally humiliated at having to walk down the 'aisle' - they don't really understand what's happening at age 4/5. I'm sure they were not forced to hold hands but they clearly were told too.

There was no party food etc - they made crowns / walked down the aisle/ danced. I think it's the pairing up and walking down the aisle I felt uncomfortable with (as did some kids). My friends DD doesn't own a princess dress and wanted to borrow one to fit in - even though she isn't into princesses.

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Coloursthatweremyjoy · 18/05/2018 16:58

Schools spend a lot of time talking about different sorts of families, the fact some people marry and some don't...blended families, single parent families.

Like it or not the royal wedding is an event in the children's world and using it to teach about celebrations, events etc is a good idea.

For William and Kate's wedding we had a street party...i wasnt particularly interested tbh but I enjoyed the party. Why can't kids be the same. Oh and if I declare a fancy dress day for my nursery on Monday virtually every little girl will have a frilly Disney dress on...it's fine...especially as they never fail to fight over who wears the police helmet on every other day.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/05/2018 16:59

Usually involves boys as well

Yeah but they aren't supposed to aspire to it.

expatinscotland · 18/05/2018 17:00

Oh, fuck that! Thankfully my older one is in secondary school and the younger has autism and wears uniform even on non-uniform day.

Nodancingshoes · 18/05/2018 17:01

Jeez... I couldn't care enough to complain about something like this. The teachers have put an effort in to make your child's day fun and, since the Royal wedding is going to be all over the news, current. If girls don't want to wear dresses I'm pretty sure they don't have to and vice versa. There was a little boy at the school fete today in a dress - no one cared.

Sirzy · 18/05/2018 17:03

Ds wore his school uniform to their royal wedding party at school, but it is the first such event School has done he has chosen to engage in fully. He is autistic and a massive fan of the royals (of his own accord, I have no strong feelings either way)

I think the forcing of the pairing up thing is a bit off but the rest I can’t get bothered about. Even if you aren’t a fan of the royals see it as them learning about the culture of the country and if necessary use it as a discussion point about different points of view

worridmum · 18/05/2018 17:03

Why is alot of people in Britain so upset that OUR flag is on display like its some sort of Nazi symbol. We are a weird bunch no other nation in the world treats their national flag as something to be ashamed of.

I could understand if the UK was like the USA that worships their flag but the UK does not.

If you do not like the nation symbol of this nation (aka a flag) why bother being part of this nation? Its one thing not to have your own flag but quite another to complain about it when other people have it.

immortalmarble · 18/05/2018 17:06

I think that as with most things, it goes deeper than the surface.

If people take it as purely a ‘nice day’ then of course complaining is unreasonable.

But not all of us are in favour of the monarchy. I have no personal issue with any of the royals, but I object - strongly object - to the concept of them. I do not agree with it at all. I am not alone.

Therefore, my child taking part in this is akin to me attending a beef party at work - I’m a vegetarian - it assumes I am in favour of something I actually stand against. Possibly a bad example, but still.

The point is the assumption- that there is something to celebrate and that it should be celebrated - would annoy me as well. I wouldn’t complain, but op is not unreasonable to be irritated by it.

worridmum · 18/05/2018 17:07

Scotland displays both the Union flag and the Saitire (the Scotish flag) Wales displays the Union Flag and the Welsh dragon.

The only place it could be a problem is in NI were paramilitaries used the flag as a tool of hate but excusing that region why is it so offensive to have it displayed in the rest of the UK?

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/05/2018 17:10

Crack a book @worridmum

Start with skinheads in the 1970s and go from there. I rather think the violent racists who hijacked the flag are the issue.

fullponty · 18/05/2018 17:13

DD's school had a street party lunch, wore red white and blue etc today.

As a staunch anti royalist it irritated me greatly but I dressed her up in requisite colours and I wouldn't have complained. Reason being, I think you need to pick your battles with a school really and wait until it's something that properly affects your child. Or you just run the risk of becoming that parent.

Ingredients · 18/05/2018 17:14

Who took the photos?

worridmum · 18/05/2018 17:17

So our flag is a object of shame then? becuase some undesirables make use of it?

Why should it be a thing of shame? Why let the undesirable ruin it? The flag is the symbol of the nation if we are ashamed of it we are ashamed of our nation.

The flag is a symbol that should be held in respect not as something that should be hidden / complained about.

I dislike the content of the Koran especially its treatment of woman should we make it an object of shame because some people use it as a object to control / make life hard for some. Why cannot it be treated as something to be ashamed of? So why are we ashamed of our national heritage while he protect fairly archaic and somewhat sexist symbols?

No were else in the world is a nations flag treated as something to be ashamed about.

Flatwhite32 · 18/05/2018 17:18

Schools really can't win can they! We put something nice on for the children, and this is what we get. Complaints! If you hated it that much, you should have withdrawn your child from the party.

cariadlet · 18/05/2018 17:20

We had a mock royal wedding at school today. The year group that I teach were the wedding party and main guests and we invited parents of that year group plus the rest of the school to come and watch.

Personally I am very anti-the royal family (I've been threatening all week to wear my "citizen not subject" t-shirt). The other teachers involved in organising it (at our Head's request) are also either republicans or indifferent to the royals (although the TAs seem quite pro-royal).

However, I leave my politics at the classroom door.

The children, both boys and girls, were very excited and enjoyed dressing up. They were eagerly looking for their parents as we went into the Hall and were buzzing when we came back to class afterwards.
I must admit that I've been moaning about having to do this but they saw it as a bit of fun and it was all very sweet.

They've got plenty of years ahead of them for political awakening. Grin

Hippywannabe · 18/05/2018 17:21

We had a street party lunch today. The head paid out of her own pocket for decorations and for every child to have a flag to take home. The kids have all had a lovely day and are excited about the wedding.
How sad that people can still find something to criticise!

Original poster
rosybell · 18/05/2018 17:22

@Ingredients - the teachers took them and put them on the online learning journey

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TooManyPaws · 18/05/2018 17:22

Scotland displays both the Union flag and the Saitire (the Scotish flag) Wales displays the Union Flag and the Welsh dragon.

The union flag can create a helluva lot of problems in Scotland too. Many people don't like what what is also called The Butcher's Apron taking priority over the national flag of the SALTIRE. It's mainly flown by a bunch of racist right-wing anti-Catholic halfwits, other than those such as government and local government buildings who are expected by law to fly it - and several don't bother. I wouldn't have a union flag on my property.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/05/2018 17:23

Well I don't really understand pride in a nation either worried. What with the empire and all I think we've probably got more to apologize for than be proud of. That goes for most countries BTW.

I like the United Kingdom. It's pretty, multi-cultural, interesting, has the greatest music and comedy in the world, makes decent tea and laughs at itself. But my birth here was an accident!

Anasnake · 18/05/2018 17:24

Ffs ridiculous, schools seriously can't win Hmm

Aeroflotgirl · 18/05/2018 17:24

Wow first world problems, I know parents who have children with special needs that are fighting schools for the right provision for their children, but are not being listened to or dismissed.

PerspicaciaTick · 18/05/2018 17:25

I simply don't believe the children were bewildered and humiliated. At that age they spend half their lives queuing up in pairs to move round the school. They will know about weddings and parties. They know about kings and queens.

What on earth have you been teaching your DD to make her feel so terrible about holding a classmate's hand?

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 18/05/2018 17:26

I'm a reception teacher myself and this is a soul destroying post. HOURS of preparation per day go into this you know.

I think most parents have a brain, and are grateful and happy that their kids have fun and do something a bit different. I don't agree with the royal circus, but it is what it is right now, and it's a lovely occasion for kids to have a party. Banning the party at school is not the way to do it.

I see reception kids holding hands all the time, that's not a subject of embarrassment at that age!

Metoodear · 18/05/2018 17:27

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam

Yes because so far the only notion she has of a princess is the blond haired white lady from frozen
And Kate Middleton who is also white and the queens who is also white
We have tried moanna their not much of love story and they don’t have the Princess and the frog on sky Disney

Sorry if it up sets you that little girls of colour need representation as well I can see if your white then you wouldn’t see a real mixed raced as massive deal but that’s white privilege for you

You think it’s odd because you always had somone who looks like you and your children

Aeroflotgirl · 18/05/2018 17:29

Ds did a Royal WEdding theme today, where they talked about it, and designed wedding outfits for the Royal Couple, who care less. Like I said, there are bigger things to get concerned over, pick your battles.