To think I could report him

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Long story, but essentially dsis is leaving her controlling stbxh after 20 years. They're still living together but she's found a job and a house and will be moving out and getting on with her life in a few weeks. Yay!

But she's just discovered a tracking device in her car, which has clearly been put there by him to track her movements and without her knowledge. Am I right in thinking this is actually illegal? Dsis doesn't want to remove it because it'll alert him that she knows. I doubt she'd want to report him as they have a daughter together and she'll worry about the impact on her if her dad gets in trouble. But I'm absolutely fuming on her behalf. How bloody dare he?!

I'd like to hear your advice on possible action. We'd love to put it in one of our cars instead, but don't think that will actually achieve anything.

He's being a total arse in every other respect too, no surprise given the bully he is, but she's coping admirably.

No you cant! If it’s reported it has to be your sister, if you go behind her back she won’t forgive you.

She needs to feel she’s in control of this and if you go behind her ack and report him, you will of taken her control of the situation away.

Concentrate on supporting your sister

I would document it, photograph and date it, then remove it and say nothing.

good job she's leaving him! That horrible, and makes me wonder what else he's done. I'd advise her getting a new phone and computer tbh.

Sorry Pink I didn't make it clear, I was wondering if it is in fact illegal or not to base a conversation with her on. I wouldn't report him without her knowledge, but I'd love to help her feel more in control - just not sure how.

Tell her to chuck it in the back of an international delivery lorry.

No I woulden't go behind your sisters back, she is aware of it, so let her do it her way.

That's the problem Aeroflot she doesn't know what to do about it but is equally pissed off.

Storm that's the kind of suggestion I like!

Document it, photograph it, and take legal advice.

Then make sure your sis has access to another car to use!

Then when she's safely out, you have the option of presenting him with evidence of his criminal activity, if he's being an arse, and pointing out that you won't hesitate to take it further unless he plays nicely.

Wow, glad your sister is getting out of that relationship

I was going to suggest sticking it on a bus.

Or driving to lots of “interesting” places.

You say you ‘doubt’ she’ll want to report it - does that mean you haven’t actually asked her?

If she doesn’t want to report it, I’d advise she removes the device, but holds on to it in case she changes her mind.

This is just a worst case scenario post but I know someone who had a tracking device in her car. He followed her every move until one night he locked her up and was about to kill her. Luckily she escaped. Long story.

God damn get your sister to stop using that car immediately. Can't your sister stay with you for now until she moves?

Take a drive so it spells out "fuck you" on Google maps

I would do as your sister says and leave it for now, so as not to alert him to the fact that she's about to leave. BUT don't forget to take it off the car when she leaves him! Then stick it on a bus etc.

But just thinking about it - does this mean that he will know where her new house/job will be? Has she been driving while visiting them?

With regards to your question, this would fall within stalking and harassment legislation and is definitely something the police would take seriously
.

@Nomad86

I'd actually call the police and ask if I were her. It's terrifying behaviour.

I don't know the law but a man has just been found guilty of stalking for using electronic surveillance, among other things, against his XW. I still haven't worked out how to paste links on my new phone but the guilty man's name is Ross Cairns.

Interesting. There was a thread a couple of weeks ago where the OP asked whether she should do the same to check on whether her husband was having an affair. The responses were a resounding 'yes'.

MN double-standards strike again!

I would move the device to another car. Some relative or friend who gives permission. My mates a taxi driver- he'd love a chance to wind a knobhead up.

She needs to move it off her car or he'll know when the house is empty and obviously where she is going.

Maybe the car needs to go to the garage and the mechanics find it?

Don't people have tracking devices on the car in case they're stolen though? I think that's what he'd say if any comment was raised.

I'm not so sure this is illegal, especially if he is the car owner.

I wouldn't report it, it is not up to you to do. Is there ant history of domestic violence? You could potentially be endangering your sister.