AIB an oversensitive whiner?

[SayImADreamer]

Been with BF nearly 2 years, live together, im currently away on holiday and im pissed off because I would have thought he could send me some pics of him or my cats whilst im away.
We have been catching up by text everyday "what you been upto" etc but once upon a time he would have sent a few pics, either of his face (lol) or my cats (i love my cats with a raging passion and also get a bit unnecessarily worried about them when im away - dont judge).

Hes not doing that this time and its pissing me off/making me sad.

Its less the not doing it and more the change from previous times.

Am i being a whiny little madam or would you be fucked off too?

You are over sensitive to the point that I'm irritated just reading your post. Be very careful as neediness is an awful trait that can push people away.

You do indeed sound whiny, your post irritated me-feel for your boyfriend, bet he's enjoying the break.

I wouldn't even ask for pics of my kids. I mean, it's not like a hostage situation and you need evidence of wellbeing. You know what they look like.

It is NEVER unreasonable to expect daily pix of your cats.

He probably thinks you should be enjoying your holiday, not worrying over the cats who will be in perfectly good hands! When my SIL cat-sits for us she doesn't send us any kind of update - of course she would if one was unwell, but otherwise why would she? If you want a photo, just ask.

Relationships change and evolve as you grow together - if DP text me as much now we live together as he did in the beginning I'd want to throttle him!

@SayImADreamer you’re, right, to keep the romance going it DOES take more effort and that can be hard if you’re tired, overworked , stressed etc.....It’s the nature of the beast that relationships move from being all consuming passion to less passionate and more stable. That’s one of the reasons people have affairs, because the passion has gone!!

In relation to your OP, yes you’re being a bit silly; focus on your holiday and if you want pics then ask him. If the underlying anxiety however is that you feel the relationship is changing/the romance is going have a sensible chat with your partner when you get home.

Oh dear, you sound painfully hard work to be honest!
You are on holiday whining about pics of cats..... please for the sake of your relationship get a grip!

When either me or dh is away how much we chat depends on how busy we are. So sometimes I’ll get lots of cat pics and sometimes not.

YABVU you went on holiday without him, and expect him to send pictures of the cats? Perhaps you should text him him, saying you love and miss him, and can’t wait to see him when you get back. Priorities much and yes you’re right, you are a grade “A” oversensitive whiner, he’s probably enjoying the break.

You'll push him away if you are too demanding

Here is a pic of my cat to keep you going OP

You’ve noticed a change in how he is with you. Has his behaviour changed in general?

Wow! If you want to see photos, then why wouldn't you ask him...?

Omg puppymonkey what a GORGEOUS cat!!

puppy she is gorgeous!!!

Is she difficult to keep tatt free?

I'd be more pissed off my partner went on holiday without me than if they didn't send me pictures of cats.

Is this a joke post...or are you actually that needy 😞

thanks for cat comments.

Teacup, she loves a good brush and I have a thingy to cut out mats.

@PuppyMonkey
Wow! That is an absolutely gorgeous cat, truly!

@Strongmummy
Thank you.
Im currently reading articles from having googled "neediness honeymoon period over", his behaviour seems to be totally normal and i have to deal with this.
I had a difficult childhood and i guess this is indeed stirring feelings in me that arent rational. What is normal "settling into a less intensive comfortable relationship" to me feels like him pulling away or rejecting me or not caring but i know this is just psychological and i need to get a grip.

Sorry but I can’t see the issue here.
I wouldnt expect any photos, nor would I send any.

Jeez. Whiny.

You need to grow up and accept that the honeymoon phase moves into something more solid and long lasting.

Or maybe not for you if you expect to live in moonlight and flowers forever.

My ex's have always sent me pics of my cats when I was away. I missed them and ex's knew that so sent pics. I missed the ex's too (obv) and would call / chat. If someone didn't send me a pic then I'd just ask got one...most people like cat pics so they're your cats so it's not needy imo. Having a whinge about his lack of mind reading skills is unreasonable though

Xpost.

If you have pinpointed a possible trigger (like your past or you feeling he is rejecting you for what is a normal behaviour), the you have done to first and more important step. Recognise what is going on.

If what happened to you in the past is still affecting you so much, do you think some counselling would help finding some peace on that? And maybe having a chat with your DP about your fears so he can tell you what he sees as normal behaviour.
I think this could also be an opportunity to create your own personal ‘rules’/traditions based on what is important to you and him
Eg if your cats are so important for you to agree, he will keep you posted on that but you might ask him for a photo and don’t need photos of him etc...

sometimes if we want something we need to ask for it.