For my DH to be drinking with his mate whilst babysitting

[curlyrebel]

I've gone back to work fairly recently and my DH looks after our DD on his days off. This evening I've come home to find DH in the back garden with one of his close mates having a drink. The pair of them drink heavily together and have been known to stay up all night drinking. I hated it before we had our DC and had it out with DH when I was pregnant. He stopped coming over but now he's back. In fact I'm sure I've seen him about 3 times in the last couple of weeks. I should say that Baby is asleep and the house is clean. However I see that they've got through a whole bottle of lemonade (bought just yesterday) and half a bottle of vodka (bought jointly for a birthday party that didn't get drunk). AIBU to ask him not to have said friend over when he's looking after our DD and for this friend not to drink all our booze?

Passed out / unconscious on the sofa or having a snooze?

I said a bottle Crunchy... Not half a bottle. Wind yer neck in

You’re really considering telling you rhusband that his friend isn’t allowed to come around?

...right...

Crackers.

And as the baby's asleep, what's the problem if he did crash out on the sofa? Unless it's a regular occurrence, of course.

He was pissed enough to crash out on the sofa by 9:30?

That would make me cross as well

He can't drink that much if his share of half a bottle of vodka has him passed out drunk. Do you think they had anything else ??

Poor bloke could be just tired ... and ok, maybe a bit pissed!

Yanbu. I would be really annoyed if my oh got drunk when looking after our DD. Having a couple of glasses of wine is very different to getting leathered and passing out on the sofa. As for saying half a bottle of vodka isn't much, it would be a hell of a lot for most people! I presume you mean a full sized bottle of vodka?

Also it depends how old your DD is? Even though she's asleep she may have woken and needed to be changed/fed and doing this whilst drunk is irresponsible.

When you have children, unless you're going to pay for a babysitter and go out, socialising switches from down the pub to in your own home. At least it did for all my friends.
So, short of never enjoying a drink with a friend until all your kids are teenagers, I'd Say a quarter of a bottle of vodka once child is asleep on the odd occasion is fine.

Do the maths and it’s 7.5 standard 25ml shots or 4 double vodkas in the pub blifbhe didn’t quite finish the last one.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this if it was after DD went to bed providing he’s not a lightweight that would be completely inebriated on that.

The ‘passing out’ would worry me. If it was falling asleep due to tiredness/booze and he’d wake if she were crying or the house was on fire then I’d let it go. If it he was pretty much unconscious then that’s very serious. But 4 double vodkas is not normally pass out paralytic territory. OP, suggest you find a foghorn and blast it in his ear to see how he reacts.

I'm assuming he's an adult and can have a drink with a mate occasionally without your permission. You're not employing him.

Babysitting

A quarter of a bottle of vodka really isn’t very much. Although I’d be drinking the whole bloody bottle if I had you harping on at me

A quarter of a 700ml bottle of 40% ABV vodka is 0.47000.25=70ml of alcohol.

2.5 pints of 5% ABV beer would be 0.055682.5=71ml of alcohol.

2 large glasses of 14% ABV wine would be 0.142502=70ml of alcohol.

I can't help thinking fewer people would be worried about a couple of glasses of wine or pints of beer than are so very concerned about a quarter bottle of vodka each. Probably just because it's not what their sort of people drink.

A quarter of a bottle of vodka wouldn't make me smashed. One glass of wine and I'd be falling asleep!

I don’t see the problem

He’s allowed to have friends round and since your home why can’t he fall asleep on the sofa? Controlling much

Do you think he drinks to escape being controlled?

I agree I'd actually probably feel worse after the equivalent in wine as it makes me feel quite sick . We'reas vodka is my chosen drink ( when I'm having a drink anyway not like daily !)

I also think this is about the associations with vodka . As plenty on the thread seem a couple of glasses of wine would have being more acceptable

I think drinking that much in a short space of time is worrying, she posted having found it at 9am it’s not over an evening. That amount in a short time whilst in sole charge of a small baby I would not be impressed by

Not another of these stupid alcohol threads? There was one last night about mil.
Vodka and lemonade is a perfectly fine drink.
You sound controlling and anxious.

What size was the bottle of vodka? If it was 750ml then that's 7.5 25ml measures - so 7.5 units of alcohol so the same as 2.5 glasses of wine to put it into perspective.

I had 4 bottles of beer yesterday (5.6 units) 3 while ds was awake and 1 after he went to bed. I'm not a big drinker at all and only fancied a drink as the sun was out and we were having a bbq for dinner.

I very much doubt a man would be passed out drunk after 7.5 units of alcohol. He probably just fell asleep.

In answer to your questions, yes you'd be very unreasonable to tell your DH what friends he's allowed round and you'd be very unreasonable to tell your DH he's not allowed to give his guest a few drinks.

I'd be furious too. It's not ok drinking and looking after a small child.
It's irresponsible.

I would not want anyone to drink anything alcoholic whilst looking after my child, and I'm incredulous at how many people seem to think this is fine. My mother adores wine, but she was simply tee-total until we were teenagers, as were all of my friend's parents when at home. I don't understand why that is so terrible or laughable to some people on here, to me it's just responsible/obvious that your faculties are impaired after even the smallest amount of alcohol (even if you don't think so) and therefore you can't respond as well to the needs of a small child.

My mother adores wine, but she was simply tee-total until we were teenagers...

Next level martyrdom right there, you win!! Or at least your mum does.

Fuck me, if you can't parent properly after one glass of wine... sorry let me correct myself... if you believe that an adult can't parent properly after one glass of wine, then you need some serious education.