to ask your thoughts on organ denation

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I have been thinking alot recently about organ donation after watching a programme about it.

I have really mixed feelings about it,

Whats your views on donating your own or your DC organs after death?

Many posters have said they wouldn't be aive or people wouldn't be able without the organ donations and i think that is pretty fucking amazing.

I agree and I think there are more of this kind of story than there are of the traumatic stories. The discussion has clearly shown that the process needs to be improved and made less traumatic, but the positive stories of people who survived due to donations are the majority.

I believe if you will except one you should donate. I am an organ donor. I would donate the children's organs if I ever had too.

@CaliforniaDream. I agree, i don't doubt for a second the way donations could be handled better and the family support could be made better, but the professionals who work in that field do an amazing job.
And even though there will be serious and minor failings we can't deny that organ donations have save many lives, young and old.

I've been a donor since the 70s. They can take whatever is of use to someone else. I really don't see it as a problem.

The discussion has clearly shown that the process needs to be improved and made less traumatic

It can't be made less traumatic

here has been amazing stories of organ donation and the affect of them, so. Many posters have said they wouldn't be aive or people wouldn't be able without the organ donations and i think that is pretty fucking amazing.

Have your back. I have been the NOK and I'd rather have my relative. I really don't understand the horrible hostility tbh. I'm out on this thread, it's starting to upset me. Please don't tag me off it, it's getting hidden. Amazing is so the wrong word and if you can't see that then you really lack a while load of compassion.

This wasn’t a thread to raise awareness of organ donation, and we have a poster talking about refusing to donate a loved one’s organs as signing death warrants and leaving people on death row. That’s pretty low however pro donation you are and whatever your experiences are.

Added to which, while there are some stories of people on here who have received the gift (and yes, let’s remember here that it’s a gift not a given) of an organ, the overwhelming experiences of those who have shared their stories of donating a loved one’s organs has been negative.

While the experience is still negative you simply cannot start shouting down those who are against the idea or feel that they are in some way morally responsible for saving the lives of others. They’re not.

Added to which, when we talk about the amazing gift of an organ, about people desperately hoping for an organ, do you realise that means that we are desperately hoping that someone will die so that the recipiant might live? This is. not a one sided process, and the truth is that organ donation can only be made possible from extreme tragedy. Let’s not dress it up as a moral argument or an entitlement on anyone’s part. Many of those organs will never be donated simply because not enough people die in the circumstances which lend themselves to them being donors. It is as simple as that. Added to which 80% of hearts given for donation are non viable. So let’s not make this a black and white issue where the recipients are desperate and the donors are all freeing someone from death. Many recipients won’t survive the surgery. Many will go on to develop communications, and while there are certainly benefits organ donation is not the answer to everything.

A friend is on the kidney transplant route but will be receiving a live donation from a friend. But she has attended an awareness day and it’s been made very clear to her that receiving a kidney while freeing her from dialysis etc will essentially be swapping one set of issues for another.

To me organ donation is a complete no brainer and I'm firmly in the camp of having to opt out, rather than opting in but I absolutely respect that there are many who have the opposing view, and I would never try to persuade them to change their mind.
That said, If I could be enraged when I die I absolutely would be if any of my relatives chose to ignore my wishes. Put simply its my body and therefore my decision what happens to it, not theirs, and their personal feelings have to be put aside.

I didn't say people dying is amazing and so here is another . I said the stories of how much good Rogan donations have done is amazing.
I've been the next of KIN to. With my young child and my mum so you can stuff your no compassion up your judgemental arse @tea. Yes I would like them back. But I know that choosing to donate their organs did an amazing thing and saved 5 lives.

I think it can. I was devastated by losing someone, but the team I had were amaizng. But not every one has access to an amazing team of transplant coordinators.

complications not communications

And you know what for saying I have no compassion when I watched my mum and kid die you can a fucking tag @teateaandmoretea

Ok genuine question here. In terms of “saving lives” what exactly does this constitute? I.e. how long does the recipiant have to live for in order that it be considered that their life was saved? Is there a timescale? Or is it simply a case of if the organ is transplanted into another person then it’s considered a life saved which isn’t necessarily true if they don’t survive the surgery or pass soon after due to complications.

Shouldn’t that wording be amended to how many people were given another chance rather than lives being saved as most people will need to have more than one organ donation in a lifetime for instance?

Wow @DiamondsBestFriend.
Sorry I shall rephrase, after I watched my mum and kid die, organs were transplanted into 5 people and gave them another chance at life.
Maybe read back through what you said and see if it looks a bit insensitive saying someone who watched people he dearly loved die and then donated their organs need to rephrase and think.

But it’s a legitimate question. Because the term “saving lives” is being used to emotionally beat down those who do not feel they would be in a position to donate a loved one’s organs, even in some cases those who have and who have had profoundly negative experiences in so doing.

If the wording is your own then of course it is yours and you take comfort from the thought that your loved ones contributed towards saving lives. But if the wording is that of the professionals then it needs changing. Because we do not have the right to place any kind of emotional guilt on to people who are sometimes faced with desperate decisions in the heat of the moment if they have never previously had a discussion.

The professional wording should always be about the chance of a recipiant being able to receive an organ but it should never be talked about in terms of the donor being responsible for saving their life.

The hope is always that a transplant will be successful and that the recipiant will go on to lead a more fulfilled life from then on, but that guilt does not and should not belong to anyone. If someone is not comfortable c donating their loved one’s organs for whatever reason then that decision needs to be respected without the added emotional guilt that some people feel the need to apply which says that if you do not donate then you shouldn’t be allowed to receive....

Our DS was born with a congenital heart condition which will mean he'll have to have a valve replacement at some point (he's already had interventions to try to help get his heart to this stage but they were key hole surgery).

When the time comes he'll have to have open heart surgery and the valve replacement will be by donor. A mechanical valve at his age would mean a life time of drugs one of which would probably be warfarin - that can cause bleeding so isn't a great idea for children who are ultra active, unless absolutely necessary.

So we will rely on a family losing their loved one in order for our son to continue to live. It's a horrible thought for us. We, obviously, desperately want DS to grow up, have a family, do all the things we've done in our lives and there are days when I really cannot understand why there are people on transplant lists/valve replacement lists etc and people refuse to allow organs etc to be taken.

But....There are also days when I totally understand. We nearly lost DS when he was a baby because of the heart condition and when he had his latest intervention it was so hard to see him down to theatre. I cannot imagine what it would be like to know, as a certainty, that journey was the final one you'd ever see a loved one make - it's bad enough having everything crossed that they make it out but knowing they won't come back...

When we saw DS down to surgery both of us admitted we really could have just run back, gathered him up and taken him home. Keep him safe. Keep him close. Ridiculous I know and we were lucky he came back bright and chirpy. So I completely understand why some families over ride wishes. If we felt like that when DS was having his life saved, how could we criticise people who would never see their loved one again for feeling the same way?

Could I bear the thought that one of us may be in the position one day of deciding to donate his organs or his dad's or mine? No, not really. Would knowing one of us saved lives help? Not convinced. I want his life or his dad's to carry on. But would we do it? Yes, because I know what we will have to go through when our son needs his valve replacement and possibly, later in his life, if he needs a heart transplant. Our neighbour is waiting for a donor heart at the moment and seeing him and his family worrying so much (his wife has had her mobile with her every day for four years hoping for a call) tears us up sometimes.

I do support the opt out process but I don't think it makes the process less traumatic. No one wants to see their loved one die and, although it can be comforting for some families knowing the organs are still working for someone; for others I can imagine a deep resentment or trauma that the person the organs 'belong to' isn't using them.

I've probably not explained that very well as I'm just going by what we feel about our DS.

I wouldn't like to use the words brave or amazing about those families who can make the decision to donate - it negates the feelings of those who just can't face that decision. I'm just grateful that they can make the decision - without them our son doesn't stand a chance.

The wording is my own. I feel doing what I did saved lives.
I have said up thread that it is up to others whether they any to donate and I won't judge then for it. And I have even gone against people saying people have no rights to say others can't have organs donated to them.

Finally it may be legitimate but a bit insensitive seeing as I'm talking about my kid and mums death!

Actually the beneficiaries to your will can override it if they all agree, it’s called a deed of variation.

Yes but my NOK couldnt override it if they weren't a beneficiary.

Anyway thankfully my NOK would respect my wishes, I'm just saying I think I should have the final say in what happens to my own body. I should be able to sign something to release by family from even having a decision to make at such a shitty time.

My bodily autonomy shouldn't die with me.

I'm an organ donor but I've been wondering if it includes my womb or my face?

I wouldn't like to donate those at all

Added to which, when we talk about the amazing gift of an organ, about people desperately hoping for an organ, do you realise that means that we are desperately hoping that someone will die so that the recipiant might live

I think this is a really unfair characterisadion of the situation. No one watching a family member dying would wish that tragedy on another. I think what they are desperately hoping is that in the event that a person does sadly die, and is a donor, that the gift that person signed up to give while alive and which could save their family member isn't prevented from reaching them by a next of kin who overrides the wishes of the deceased.

Many of those organs will never be donated simply because not enough people die in the circumstances which lend themselves to them being donors. It is as simple as that. Added to which 80% of hearts given for donation are non viable

So let's not limit the donor pool even further by allowing NOK to overrule their loved ones' decision!

Isn't it already 'deemed consent' in Wales? So you have to opt-out of you don't want to donate.

Let me say that I was devastated that a family lost their Dad, Husband, Grandad to save my life.

He was on the organ donor register and it was his wishes along with his family to donate.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about the selfless thing they have done, each Anniversary, Christmas and Father's Day is especially hard.

And yes it a gift, a precious gift and I am truly grateful and very humbled!

A girl in my year at school sadly had an accident and died. She saved several lives, she was 14 years old and she made a difference to many families. I’m on the donator list.

My good friend passed away in March this year and thanks to her twelve people received much needed organs. We all love to think of her living on inside others it’s a comfort and we are all extremely proud of her for making the decision to save others. I would give any of my organs once I pass away with pleasure!

No @tinkerbellax organ donation doesn't include your womb or face.

That is wonderful Zacharysmum.