to ask your thoughts on organ denation

[UnicornShapedCloud]

I have been thinking alot recently about organ donation after watching a programme about it.

I have really mixed feelings about it,

Whats your views on donating your own or your DC organs after death?

People also die from bereavement. I knew two women who did just that. Their child bereavement killed them.

This is absolutely tragic but unless you're suggesting that their bereavement was caused by organ donation rather than the loss of their loved one, it isn't really relevant to this argument.

Anyone who loses a loved one will suffer terrible grief. It's a horrific thing to go through, and the pain is unbearable. Anyone who has lost a family member or other loved one knows this. But that grief shouldn't entitle you to go against the wishes of your loved one and prevent organ donation if that is the decision they made about their body while alive. The stakes are too high when other people depend on that organ donation to live.

@Andro this horrific experience you and your DS had is exactly why I've said over and over that the process at the moment is completely inadequate and needs overhauled. Your son should never have been put in the position he is now where he has been traumatised.

I think every person has the right to decide what happens to their own body after the die. If you choose not to donate your organs because you fear it would be too traumatic for your son, that is your choice entirely. You have complete body autonomy. But I don't think the law should allow for relatives or friends of the deceased to undo decisions made by the deceased while they are alive.

Families shouldn't get to override the decision made by the deceased while they were alive. It isn't right when other lives hang in the balance. Many people die waiting for donors who might have been saved had the wishes of deceased people been respected by their families. but they’re the ones who have to live with it. Not the medics, not even the patient as they will be unaware that there is even a potential match if the family says no.

The important thing here is that families have the discussion before they get to a point where they have to make a split second decision based on something they had no idea about just minutes previously.

To suggest that a family who were unaware just hours ago that they were going to be bereaved are responsible for the death of other people because of a discussion they never had in preparation for an event they never foresaw lacks any kind of compassion or understanding of sudden bereavement.

'This is absolutely tragic but unless you're suggesting that their bereavement was caused by organ donation rather than the loss of their loved one, it isn't really relevant to this argument. '

No it isn't, because you who have zero understanding of how complex such bereavement is have been using language likening those who don't donate their loved one's organs to criminals who commit manslaughter at the least.

Thankfully, it's not about what your personal opinion is on such people .

((((Andro)))))

The important thing here is that families have the discussion before they get to a point where they have to make a split second decision based on something they had no idea about just minutes previously.

Completely agree with this - everyone should have this discussion with their families when there is time and space for it. There have been good government campaigns on this and these should continue.

No it isn't, because you who have zero understanding of how complex such bereavement is

What an assumption - and an incorrect one. I know exactly what it's like to experience the unexpected and untimely loss of a dearly loved one.

CaliforniaDream there are people on this thread who have donated loved ones’ organs and who have been in the position of being bereaved either in a position to donate their organs or in some instances not. You are talking about something which you clearly know absolutely nothing about here and you are trampling over the feelings of the genuinely bereaved in order to put across your crassly and awfully worded opinions.

You should step away from this thread, because while there is a place for discussion of both organ donation and opting out there are ways to do so which you clearly have missed.

Total no brained for me.
I’m dead. Do whatever the hell you want with my body - I don’t need it anymore. I’ve told my husband to make sure anything that can be donated is donated (including skin, eyes, soft tissues etc) and just burn whatever is left.
Same with my dcs. If the worst were to happen and I found myself in that position, I’d donate their organs without a second thought. Anything that could stop another family feeling the pain of losing a child!

I received my gift in 2016, I would be dead without it and my children wouldn't have there Mummy.

A hero saved my life and I think of him & his family every day x

This thread shows why it is so important to discuss these things openly. My family are all enthusiastic about donation and it is something we have discussed in detail. We are all blood donors and have been involved in various research projects. It’s something that we all feel passionate about having had various brushes with serious illness. It is part of the decision as being cremated or buried (ideally, if enough of me goes for spares I will barely fill a bucket).

However I can absolutely see that in the shock of a sudden death, we would find it hard to make the decision at the critical moment. I also know that if we didn’t make the decision to donate, we would regret it afterwards as we are so clear that it is what we want.

I donated from my stillborn DD, don’t remember the details but think it was a research thing more than a transplant. I was in immeasurable pain at the point I was asked but my instinct was if I could prevent anyone from experiencing the same, I would give anything.

Your son should never have been put in the position he is now where he has been traumatised.

No he shouldn't, but yet you criticize him for the consequences of that trauma.

@DiamondsBestFriend interesting - how did you make the determination between the genuinely bereaved and me? Is it that the ones who agree with you are genuine and the ones who don't aren't?

I've had a family member live because she received a heart and I've lived through the horrific, life altering grief of having a loved one die unexpectedly and without warning and have his organs donated. Both experiences reaffirmed beyond any doubt that organ donation should be opt-out, and that the decision should be exclusively that of every individual while they are alive, and that that decision should be respected once they are dead with no ability by the family to override it. Saving lives is the priority - it's the most important thing.

Does anyone else question the fact that we already have too many people on this planet? That the money spent on organ donation could save many more lives if it were used elsewhere in the world?

I'm not against organ donation per say - but I am not pro either. It is almost like because we are westerners we have more right to a second chance at life.

"before they get to a point where they have to make a split second decision based on something they had no idea about just minutes previously."

There are lots of situations where no split second decision needs to be made, though, and even if the split second decision is 'no', then relatives can still reconsider and donate tissues later, so that is a comfort.

Research shows that when SNODs are allowed to communicate with relatives, they have a much more positive response than when non-SNODs (i.e. treating Doctors) do it, so the key is to refer to the SNODs as early as possible once it is anticipated that a patient may not survive an episode of care.

No he shouldn't, but yet you criticize him for the consequences of that trauma.

In fact I have been clearly and consistently critical of hospitals not ensuring that the process is done in the least traumatic, most respectful way possible. I've said nothing about your son except that it's utterly wrong that he had to experience what he did.

*@frenchfancy * I seriously hope you and your family are not in a position to need an organ like I was. Without selfless people like my donor I wouldn't be alive today.

Simple as that!

OP, thanks for posting. I've been meaning to update my donor status for a while, and this reminded me to do it. I will be donating anything of use, and my husband and family are both aware of my wishes.

@scotchpie I said I wasn't anti organ donors, I just wanted to put a point up for discussion. Obivously once family members or loved ones are involved the moral question becomes different.

@frenchfancy organ donation isn't only something which occurs in western countries.

I also don't think it should be singled out from any other form of medicine which prolongs life or prevents death.

Without the generosity of a donor and their family I wouldn't have my wonderful mum here today. I can never thank them enough.

I would absolutely wish any useable organs to be donated in the event of my death. And I would also donate my DD's should anything happen to her. I know what those organs mean to a family. It's a tremendous gift to give.

That the money spent on organ donation could save many more lives if it were used elsewhere in the world?

@frenchfancy Really?

' I know exactly what it's like to experience the unexpected and untimely loss of a dearly loved one.'

I was speaking specifically of child bereavement, but hey, have away, you're not interested in anyone's opinion other than yours, which is one in which you liken people who don't donate to criminals. That's insulting and low.

I wouldn’t donate my children’s organs. I’m not happy with the process and Brain stem dead is not actually dead. I wouldn’t want their last moments alive to be on the operating theatre having their organs removed. If my family want to donate my organs, I’m ok with that though if it would make them feel better.

@expatinscotland I don't think you're in any position to make judgments about me when you've so blithely discounted my own experiences and been so dismissive of my grief.

I also think that if you read the thread you'll see that I've made it clear that I think parents have the right to make decisions about the donation of their children's organs so, again, it appears that you have misunderstood.