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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go for afternoon tea with my 3 year old

56 replies

yellowmellw · 16/05/2018 11:12

I'm feeling a bit down and anxious at the moment. I'm going through a miscarriage (of which my body hasn't realised yet so it hasn't actually started) baby should be 12 weeks tomorrow but heartbeat stopped around 8. I've a hospital appt tomorrow to start the medical route.

So would it be weird to go for fancy afternoon tea with my 3 year old as a wee treat. Would it look weird.

OP posts:
HunterofStars · 16/05/2018 11:41

Go for it. It sounds like a lovely idea. I'm sorry for your loss. Flowers, Cake and Brew

theressomethingaboutmarie · 16/05/2018 11:42

do it - go and have some fun! I had a very similar time mc as you (didn't find out until 11 weeks) and the midwife told me to go off to the pub for lunch. I was in shock and said to her "what do I do now?" and that was her lovely response - and it helped. My heart goes out to you xx

MrsPreston11 · 16/05/2018 11:42

Firstly I'm so sorry you're going through this. I went through the same (HB stopped at 12, MCd at 14 the day before I was booked to go in.) It's heartbreaking.

So certainly go out and do something nice.

My DDs love afternoon tea and have been going since they were little. They always sit nicely and love all the cakes and feeling grown up.

Take some colouring or a little toy (maybe a new one as a little treat) and worst case scenario let her play on your phone if she gets bored towards the end.

Huge hugs for you. Xxxxx

Cheto · 16/05/2018 11:43

Sorry for what u are going through ... and the afternoon tea idea sounds lovely ... hope u both have a lovely time SmileBlushThanksCake

IncyWincyMouseRat · 16/05/2018 11:45

Hope you have a lovely time OP Flowers

MumofBoysx2 · 16/05/2018 11:45

Poor you. I had a miscarriage too at around the same time so I totally understand. I think afternoon tea with your baby girl sounds like the perfect tonic.

TwittleBee · 16/05/2018 11:51

Flowers OP have a lovely time with your 3 year old.

Best love and wishes to you and your DP. Hope the miscarriage end soon for you.

(fyi, I'm taking my 11 month DS for afternoon tea at end of this month so I don't think it is strange at all!)

OldEnglishSheepDog · 16/05/2018 11:51

Do it. Take some colouring just in case and have a lovely time. Flowers for your loss.

PinkHeart5914 · 16/05/2018 11:55

Not weird at all. I have been for afternoon tea with my little dc before, a lot of places local to me do a Child’s version too so my dc don’t have to share my cake!

My dc love food so they were not bored!

WizardOfToss · 16/05/2018 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatildaTheCat · 16/05/2018 11:57

Go and also buy yourself a beautiful plant while you are there. Flowers

Motherofallbeasts · 16/05/2018 11:59

I did this with my DD from the age of 3 and we still do - not often - but it's so lovely

NurseryFightClub · 16/05/2018 12:01

Do it, so long as not ultra posh like claridges it's a lovely idea. Sorry to hear of your mc x

fabulousfrumpyfeet · 16/05/2018 12:02

That sounds like a lovely thing to do. I've been through the same thing OP, the waiting is very hard. I eventually went down the surgical route and it was fine, the nurses were very kind. I also went on to have DS2 (now 4 years old).
xx

JessiCake · 16/05/2018 12:11

I've done this twice! First time awful because (I didn't know at the time) DC was coming down with a gastric bug. So we tried it again and it was bliss! Age 3, just like yours. Take books, pencils, paper etc and you will while away a very nice couple of hours. Enjoy Flowers

MrsHarveySpecterV · 16/05/2018 12:13

I've taken my 3 year old DD for afternoon tea since she was about 2 and she loves it. We've been to posh hotels too which she loves even more! Enjoy x

cjt110 · 16/05/2018 12:15

Do it. And enjoy it.

Sorry for your loss Flowers

liquidrevolution · 16/05/2018 12:18

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. Flowers

Secondly afternoon tea is a lovely idea. My DD will sit happily with a book or some fuzzy felt for hours in restaurants but actually if it's just the two if us she loves grown up conversation. We haven't done afternoon tea yet but have had a 3 course lunch by ourselves before.

Try playing a game where you have to use inventive words to describe the food. So you can't say it tastes nice but it tastes of rainbows etc.

Enjoy your tea - so jealous!

The8thMonth · 16/05/2018 12:18

Afternoon tea with a 3 year old is lovely! I did this with my son when he was 3 years old and he loved it. He didn't have tea but really enjoyed the scones and sandwiches. It really made our afternoon or that day a bit more special

incywincybitofa · 16/05/2018 12:19

Go make a good memory on a sad day.

bazingabazinga · 16/05/2018 12:20

@yellowmellw

So sorry to read about your miscarriage. Definitely take your dc out for afternoon tea.

I had medical management of my miscarriage last year and it is quite intense. Best of luck Flowers

snewname · 16/05/2018 12:21

Bless you. That's a lovely idea as long as your dc can be trusted not to ruin the experience for other afternoon tea-ers.

Troels · 16/05/2018 12:23

Sorry for what you are going through.
Do it, I took Dd who was just 4, it's the only part of our holiday she remembers, we went to Marks and Spencers for a proper tea, she loved it, she can still remember the cakes and sandwiches on the tiered plates.

spiderlight · 16/05/2018 12:25

So very sorry about your miscarriage - I've been there and it is so much harder than anyone realises. Have a lovely tea with your little one. You deserve a little treat. Now more than ever you need to be kind to yourself Flowers

YearOfYouRemember · 16/05/2018 12:26

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had two losses, one my DS son, and it's such a difficult time.

Afternoon tea is a lovely idea and a great way for your little one to practice appropriate behaviour.

My only concern would be if you were to start bleeding, etc while out.

Take care of yourself and I'd be reassessing the people who aren't being kinds position in your life.

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