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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never agree to this again?

200 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 16/05/2018 07:04

I agreed to dog and house sit for a colleague I’m friendly with while she goes to her sisters wedding and is away for a couple of weeks.
I grew up in the country with plenty of animals so perfectly used to most dogs however...
the house is filthy. The oven in particular is disgusting, none of the glasses were remotely clean, I ended up buying some paper cups

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 16/05/2018 10:35

Well you've learned a valuable lesson here - ALWAYS visit before you house-sit, and double check the dog's habits/ feeding /sleeping etc.

I'd clean the minimum you need to be able to stay there. But the dog has to sleep elsewhere. No way would I sleep with a dog (even my own).

And send them a bill for dog food and cleaning.

KeiTeNgeNge · 16/05/2018 10:35

It sounds grim!

Ebeneser · 16/05/2018 10:40

Personally I'd clean the sections of the house I'd be using regularly, and bring my own kettle, toaster etc over.
Then when she gets back I'd tell her, politely, that she's a piss taking dirty skank and I'll not be looking after her house/dog again.

OhDearMavis · 16/05/2018 10:40

Call friend. Tell her you're leaving. Of course you won't abandon the dog but she doesn't need to know that

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 16/05/2018 10:43

I’ve picked up a kettle and toaster from home. Stopped short of a microwave... I’ve already done what I can cleaning wise but things like the oven are just beyond comprehension how things can get that grim Envy

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 16/05/2018 10:50

How's the bed and the bathroom?

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/05/2018 10:51

Maybe your friend from work is, like me, very very very hard up and can't afford to run heating/hot water. It does make you reluctant to clean thoroughly (I wash up once every couple of days in a kettle of water). I'd guess that's why the dog isn't in kennels.

If you shut him out of the bedroom, does he howl?

Nesssie · 16/05/2018 10:51

I would contact the colleague and say that you need hot water, for cleaning, washing up, washing hands etc.

Anything you buy, keep the reciepts!

My dog sleeps on my bed, but I would never expect him to sleep with anyone else, and he would soon settle down to sleeping on his bed,

Sounds horrific!

juneau · 16/05/2018 10:52

If you live close enough to return home for a kettle and a toaster I'd just STAY at home and visit twice daily to walk the dog and feed it. Why the hell would you sleep in someone else's bed with their stinking great dog when you live close enough to do otherwise? I'd also contact her to tell her that's what you're doing and give her the opportunity to put her dog in kennels as an alternative. What a filthy pig! But let this be a lesson to you to stop being such a doormat. You agreed to live in this woman's house for two weeks without even visiting it and her dog first???? You must be insane!

Tinkobell · 16/05/2018 10:56

You've got to text her or something.
"Hi xxxx, hope wedding and hols good. Honestly, I was not expecting a 5 star hotel but your place really is very dirty and has not any hot running water. I'm not staying for 2 weeks but am returning back home. House is secured and locked. Dog happy and staying with xxx. See you back at work"
Don't be coy. She owes you a fucking apology though I imagine she'll have the hump Post hols. She won't breathe a word of it to anyone, she'll be too ashamed.

MrsPreston11 · 16/05/2018 11:40

Anyone else want photos out of morbid curiosity.

Well done staying there OP. I'd be itching all over. Poor dog.

bramblina · 16/05/2018 11:42

I do. The house I was in on Saturday was shocking as previously mentioned and I did want to take photos but couldn't. I am appalled at how some folk live.

PintOfMineralWater · 16/05/2018 11:49

Eurgh, disgusting. That would make me miserable, I'm not tidy myself but living in filth is awful.

Just a small thing - I lived in a country where it was uncommon for hot water to be plumbed into the kitchen. We just washed up as normal with dish soap etc. Still did the job, even with greasy stuff.

BobbiBabbler · 16/05/2018 11:50

My first thought if I went into my friend's house and it looked like that would be to wonder if they were ok or if they were perhaps suffering from depression or another illness which is impacting on their ability to keep their house clean. Not to bitch about them on the internet. For the love of god don't post photos here. Its her home for gods sake.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 16/05/2018 11:51

When did I ever say I was going to post photos Hmm

OP posts:
BobbiBabbler · 16/05/2018 12:43

You haven't and nor did I say that you did. Other people have said they want to see photos which is just ridiculous.

TomRavenscroft · 16/05/2018 13:58

I feel for the dog, but I wouldn't want to sleep with it. Can't it be shut in another room overnight?

I'd certainly text her and say you'll be giving her the receipts for your expenses for dog food etc when she gets back.

Lilacwine1 · 16/05/2018 19:19

Why on earth didn't she have a bloody good scrub round, if she knew you were going to be staying for two weeks. There is no way I would still be there. Can't you tell her you have asthma, and it's being made worse by the filth dog.

MiddleMoffat · 17/05/2018 00:31

I am shuddering.... what are the sheets like?

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 17/05/2018 01:14

She is a dirty CF
I’d be putting the dog in kennels
She can pay the bill when she picks him up

Sammyham · 17/05/2018 01:28

Really don't think it's the OP responsibility to be getting the hot water to the taps flowing or having to clean glasses/ the house, it's not like this was an emergency that the OP colleague had to unexpectedly attend to in a rush, the house should have been spotless for your arrival and would have expected her to leave you a few good will gestures for helping her out and money to cover any costs that looking after dog would incur (and maybe a bit extra for a takeaway etc)

Personally I would stick to your agreement as hard it might be in the current situation, do no cleaning at all (she left it in a state, she should come home to it a state) and she might actually feel offended if you start cleaning her house for her, I'd keep receipts for everything you've had to pay out for in looking after her dog which is her responsibility and not something you should be footing the bill for and when she returns, calmly explain that you've had to buy food, poo bags etc and expect to be reimbursed for these costs, after all she is a work colleague and do you really want to create any tension at your place of work over this?

I'd definitely never agree to doing any favours for her again in the future!

Charolais · 17/05/2018 02:21

I’d go home get my own kettle and cleaning supplies and give the house a good scrubbing. I’ve had to do this once or twice in my life.

IJustHadToNameChange · 17/05/2018 02:41

Is there a gas meter?

Has the gas been turned off?

Is there a plug for the boiler?

Can it be switched on and the pilot light re-lit?

marjorie25 · 17/05/2018 03:01

Sorry, but I would get in touch with and let her know that she needs to return ASAP.
No way would I be living in such conditions.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 03:28

Some people are filthy, I get that. Yuk but that’s the way it is. I can’t get past no hot water.

It sounds as though the dog would be better off being dog sat in someone’s house. I do this with my dog as he’s anxious. If you do put him in kennels he may get ill or refuse to eat if he is that anxious. My first dog did this and came back as a dehydrated scrag after a 3 night stay (so I didn’t do it again). This is possibly why she hasn’t put him in one.

I’d think carefully before I just shoved him in a kennel. You could be doing him a favour if you found a Dogsitter though. Taking him to your place could be an option (subject to ll approval) he may go crazy left alone. So you’d have to drive him to her house before work. If you tell your ll it’s just for 1.5 weeks and the dog won’t be left alone, they may be ok.