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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never agree to this again?

200 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 16/05/2018 07:04

I agreed to dog and house sit for a colleague I’m friendly with while she goes to her sisters wedding and is away for a couple of weeks.
I grew up in the country with plenty of animals so perfectly used to most dogs however...
the house is filthy. The oven in particular is disgusting, none of the glasses were remotely clean, I ended up buying some paper cups

OP posts:
Rosielily · 16/05/2018 08:28

Have you even tried to contact your colleague about all this?

JenBarber · 16/05/2018 08:28

I wouldn't stay in a fil thy house either, OP. She's outrageous to even ask someone to stay in a dirty house.

Just say no. Tell her you get ill if you sleep in a dirty/dusty house.

AjasLipstick · 16/05/2018 08:32

I swear that some people just don't realise! My friend is almost anally tidy but she never cleans. Literally NEVER.

Everything has it's place and everything is covered in a film of grease and dust.

Singlenotsingle · 16/05/2018 08:32

Is the woman lazy, depressed and/or too mean to get cleaners in? Did she think you were going to do a deep clean for her while you were there? I doubt that was part of the deal! Tell her to PayPal you some money and put the dog in kennels

GreedyVegan · 16/05/2018 08:32

This is truly awful but I did laugh at the dog following you to the spare room Blush (sorry op).

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 16/05/2018 08:34

I have indeed tried to contact my colleague I called to ask how the hot water worked for a start!
And to let her know the dog just cried if you didn’t let it in the bed and she was like “well of course that’s where he sleeps”

Landlord would definitely not allow a dog. Also I am not going to abandon the dog I’m not a complete bitch

OP posts:
shortgreengiraffe · 16/05/2018 08:39

You don't have to abandon the dog. You just have to ask your friend to make arrangements.

bramblina · 16/05/2018 08:41

Omg I'm sorry to read this.
I took ds to a birthday party at the weekend and couldn't take me eyes off the floor..I don't think it had ever been vacuumed. I had a cup of tea but that was before I saw the kitchen Shock oh the thick black gunk under her wire dish drainer wasn't just a film it was thick. I was horrified. I wanted to post on mn to ask if I was being unreasonable to be shocked how some people live.
So, I couldn't stay there and if I were you I might find myself in hospital with "suspected appendicitis" or something similar. Because you can be honest but if people live like that they don't see the same problems with it as us and so they wouldn't understand.
Hugs xx

pigmcpigface · 16/05/2018 08:45

My friend's house is like this. Like you, I'm quite clean and tidy and it freaks me out! In her case, I went to sleep in a bed only to find that the sheet was covered with someone else's period. Envy I've also unearthed a pasta bake that had been left under the table in the corner of a room for a year!! (Yes, really).

To be honest, when I stay there I just roll my sleeves up and start cleaning. Boil a kettle and mix the water half and half with cold to wash up, using loads of washing up liquid. Once you have a small area clean it's much easier to manage the rest of the week.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/05/2018 08:45

I think you should tell her you can't stay there and that she will have to arrange for the dog to go elsewhere, see what she says. Two weeks is a long time to be in a pit of a house.

JenBarber · 16/05/2018 08:45

Then I expect she thought you'd clean.

MiL often invites me down to 'help her sort her house out'. What she wants is for me to clean it.

Angie169 · 16/05/2018 08:47

EEWW that sounds grim .
If you can not take the pooch home can you afford / get to a hotel ( all travel lodges except one or 2 allow dogs at no extra cost providing you do not leave them alone all day) then drop the dog back off at its house while you are at work , or drop it of at a dog sitters
I would also keep calling your work mate , how do you get hot water , where is the soap, where do you keep your clean . . . . . . .

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 16/05/2018 08:47

I doubt she's taking advantage - the fact that she lives in such a state of squalour suggests that she doesn't understand how abnormal it is, or how offensive to others.

I wouldn't ask her to make alternative arrangements - she's abroad, and doesn't sound like someone who's good at sorting things out successfully. If you are certain the landlord won't accept the dog (have you tried begging and showing photos of the house?), do you have any friend or relative who could take the dog or both of you for a couple of weeks? Definitely don't worry abou the house, and definitely have a word about hygiene when she gets back.

CrochetBelle · 16/05/2018 08:50

I have indeed tried to contact my colleague I called to ask how the hot water worked for a start!

So what did she say??

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/05/2018 08:51

Of course she's taking advantage! The least she should have done was make sure the place was clean and tidy and that the dog had what it needed. It's not fair that the OP needs to clean the place and be out of pocket buying dog stuff.

When we've had someone staying looking after the dog we leave the place immaculate, buy new bedding and towels, fill the fridge with lovely food and wine and leave money for whatever they might need while we're away, plus bring a nice present back!

Furano · 16/05/2018 08:54

She “forgot” to leave loads of stuff for the dog so I’ve had to buy food/poo bags/ etc.

That is fucking shit.

When I have pet sitters the house is immaculate and all animal related supplies are in abundance.

Three days into two weeks? Bloody hell i'd think about calling the woman and saying her house is a disgusting dirty hole and you can';t stay there. Does she ant to 1) pay for a deep clean by an agency 2) get a new sitter or 3) come home.

Nanny0gg · 16/05/2018 08:55

I think you should tell her you can't stay there and that she will have to arrange for the dog to go elsewhere, see what she says. Two weeks is a long time to be in a pit of a house.

^^This. People rely far too much on the British 'stiff upper lip' and inbuilt politeness and assume they'll get away with this kind of thing.

blueskyinmarch · 16/05/2018 08:56

Sounds grim. I am surprised you took this on and never thought to go visit her house first to see where everything was etc.

PuppyMonkey · 16/05/2018 08:57

Crochet - I presume that’s when she said about it not mattering, because the shower is electric.

I would clean up the sink, and a tidy spot to put clean stuff after washing up (using boiled water from kettle). And then go out all the time, to eat etc. Tesco meal deals and chip shops. Is she paying you?

Mammyloveswine · 16/05/2018 09:03

Gosh I remember having to clean the bath and loo before use when house sitting once... grim!

My house is no show home but its always clean and if someone is coming round I make sure it's spotless!

I feel for you OP!

Furano · 16/05/2018 09:05

I am surprised you took this on and never thought to go visit her house first to see where everything was etc.

Me too.

Pet sitters normally come round for a visit to check your home and pet out before they agree to pet/house sitting!

Tinkobell · 16/05/2018 09:07

I'd send her a message on her hols. Why should she enjoy 2 weeks of ignorant bliss while you endure 2 weeks of mess and no hot running water! Has she provided a clean bed for you?
Message could read
"Hi hope holiday going well. All fine here. TBH though your place does need a Kim & Aggy blitz and there's no hot running water in the house so it's a bit hard going day to day! Dogs fine"

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 16/05/2018 09:09

What are you going to do OP?

Tinkobell · 16/05/2018 09:10

DO NOT CLEAN The bloody house for her! Dirty mare.

Gemini69 · 16/05/2018 09:18

I agree OP... you are not being unreasonable to agree to never do this again... put it down to a lesson learned... Hmm

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