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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you cannot tell gender at 12weeks

58 replies

Bluebellsinthegarden · 15/05/2018 19:58

Having had my 20w scan today and discovered we are having a boy we announced this to our family.
One member of our family believes he knew that we were having a boy from our 12w scan photo. He believes he can see testes and an erect penis.
Frankly I find this comment pretty disgusting and I’m annoyed that anyone would be looking into my scan, of my baby inside my body in such detail.
I don’t believe that this would be visible so early either.
The sonographer today thought it was amusing that someone would think they could tell from a 12w scan picture and asked to see it. She said that there was no way she could see this and has been doing the job every day for many many years.

OP posts:
Isittimeforbed · 15/05/2018 20:18

Yes you absolutely can tell from the 12 week scan using nub theory if you're trained. Fetal Medicine departments have used it to decide about invasive testing for sex-linked disorders. But as pp have said, it's looking at the angle of the nub rather than male or female genitals.

TheMonkeyMummy · 15/05/2018 20:20

I was told with all of mine at 12 weeks (3boys). And it was clearly visible.

NotAnotherUserName5 · 15/05/2018 20:25

A sonographer could see my son was a boy at 13 weeks.

She could also tell my daughter was a girl at 14 weeks.

From photos, people guess with the 'nub theory'

I could tell the gender of the baby I lost at 13 weeks, so I do think it's possible, but that's just my opinion.

Congratulations

RomeoBunny · 15/05/2018 20:25

You can tell if it's a girl at 12w. A private gender scan shows what looks like 3 lines which 99.9% of the time is female genetalia.

They told us at our 20w scan we were having a girl. I knew it was wrong because I knew what to look for. I had also been looking during our 12w scan and I said he was a boy then too as we got a cross section image of his bum by accident when she came across the top of my belly, as he was head down. We went for a private one and straight away "It's a boy".

Private gender scans tend to be more accurate as they're doing it 100s of times a week solely for the gender. So they know what to look for instantly.

Bluebellsinthegarden · 15/05/2018 20:25

I was really hoping to disprove his prediction. I am however glad that any predictions were not because of actual genitals.
There is just something gross about his statement and it’s made me feel very protective.

OP posts:
dietcokemango · 15/05/2018 20:29

There is just something gross about his statement and it’s made me feel very protective.

Confused Why?

zaalitje · 15/05/2018 20:29

There's about 5 of these threads pop up each day on the pregnancy board, they irritate me for some reason.

From experienceof myself & friends (9babies total skull/ nub/ heartbeat theory have been right 5 times).

When people tell you they cn tell at 12 weeks they've a 50/50 chance of guessing right, which is pretty much what my experience backs up.

reallyanotherone · 15/05/2018 20:30

There is just something gross about his statement and it’s made me feel very protective

I have always found this sex of baby thing a strange thing to do. It is, after all, discussing the genitals of a person in fair detail.

Like when people post scan pics on here and ask for gender predictions. It’s basically come look at my baby and see if you can see it’s penis.

That foetus will be a person. And it’s genitals are it’s own business.

yotica · 15/05/2018 20:35

I'm pretty sure in Spain they tell you the sex of the baby on the first scan. My family couldn't believe it when I told them you have to wait until 20 weeks here....

dietcokemango · 15/05/2018 20:38

For someone so offended you're a bit fond of repeating the words the other person used OP...

vandrew4 · 15/05/2018 20:39

I don't understand. It was a photo of the scan but he wasn't in the scan? Who wasn't? the baby?

crispysausagerolls · 15/05/2018 20:41

I found out at 9 weeks via a blood test, but I have heard that some people buy into the nub theory heavily, so perhaps that's what he was going by? Someone using a scan to guess the gender is a fairly normal thing, but saying that the penis is erect is a bit Hmm

Bluebellsinthegarden · 15/05/2018 20:47

@dietcokemango Wtf is that supposed to mean?!
I think I’ve only used it once... Kindof necessary. What else should I have said?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/05/2018 20:47

You can on those 4D ones.

dietcokemango · 15/05/2018 20:52

He believes he can see testes and an erect penis

I suppose I find his findings of “an erect penis and testes” crass and unnecessary.

And slightly different but;

I am however glad that any predictions were not because of actual genitals.
There is just something gross about his statement and it’s made me feel very protective.

Do you already have misgivings about the person who said it?

dietcokemango · 15/05/2018 20:53

Bold failure, apologies.

Bluebellsinthegarden · 15/05/2018 20:56

@dietcokemango you are too invested in this thread. I just wanted to know if it was possible to see such areas of anatomy (is that better for you?!)

OP posts:
dietcokemango · 15/05/2018 20:59

@dietcokemango you are too invested in this thread.

Grin Never felt I'd truly be a part of MN until someone said this to me, now it has been.

PositiveVibez · 15/05/2018 21:00

Frankly I find this comment pretty disgusting and I’m annoyed that anyone would be looking into my scan, of my baby inside my body in such detail

Why didn't you just say 'that's a bit of a weird thing to say'

I don't get why you are so disgusted and annoyed.

Flowerpotbicycle · 15/05/2018 21:02

I found out from 12 weeks scans with both of my children at private clinics. The nub theory is pretty accurate - I obviously didn’t go out buying boys or girls clothes until I found out for definite at 16 weeks but everyone I know that had a sonographer who used the nub theory had it correctly predicted.
Basically the urethra which is visible on the scan lies flat with females, and with males it appears to stand up and out... maybe this is what your relative meant by “erect”.
Without being vulgar that is obviously the purpose of penises and you’ll have to deal with baby erections if it is a boy so there’s no need to freak out about it

LadyLannister · 15/05/2018 21:09

I had a private scan at 11 weeks and 5 days, and the sonographer asked if I would like to know the sex of my twins. She said she was 99% sure one was a boy, and about 80% sure the other was a girl. She was absolutely right. She was a very good sonographer, she lectured at the local university so was very experienced but yes it’s definitely possible to know the sex at 12 weeks.

Flowerpotbicycle · 15/05/2018 21:10

What do you mean? Could you see your baby in the image or not? I’m confused 😂

Bluebellsinthegarden · 15/05/2018 21:14

Oh I totally get the purpose of a penis- I’m not a prude. It’s just that I shared the photo (when I say share it was sent to a select few relatives by text). No request for analysis of sex. I didn’t go hunting myself. If I have anymore children, I won’t be listening to requests for pics.
Anyway, I’ve clarified it is possible but what he identified as an “erect penis” (sorry @dietcoke!) was not. Maybe i am overreacting but it did get my back up.

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 15/05/2018 21:14

I had my nuchal fold scan at 12 weeks in Germany, hubby joking around said there's my boy and the consultant promptly said I do believe that is a clitoris..... Something to do with the angle....apparently had it been 45 degrees in the other direction it would have been a penis.

She was right though.....

Bearfrills · 15/05/2018 21:39

When people tell you they cn tell at 12 weeks they've a 50/50 chance of guessing right, which is pretty much what my experience backs up.

There is actual medical research that backs it up. An experienced sonographer getting a good look at the anatomy can correctly state the sex of a 12-14wk foetus in 65-85% of cases.