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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What assumptions would you make if I said

47 replies

Ohgodawkward · 14/05/2018 23:46

(Off the back of another thread!)

I was a 25 year old girl, attractive, good enough job, lives in a big city, has been travelling etc... Social and gregarious, has dated... BUT no long term relationships yet and has only had sex once.

OP posts:
feelinggoodinspring · 14/05/2018 23:49

I'd think you are just happy and enjoying your life.

Crunched · 14/05/2018 23:50

“Can I introduce you to my son”
You sound just what he needsSmile

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 14/05/2018 23:56

I would think that you sounded like a really nice and respectable lady with a great job and interesting life (the travelling) I think that you sound like the type of lady that men would be proud to take home and introduce to his parents

Mamagin · 14/05/2018 23:58

No, crunched, she's being introduced to my son!

OliviaStabler · 14/05/2018 23:58

Sounds like me at that age.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/05/2018 00:01

I would think you are a responsible, hard working person who has standards and is smart and secure enough to not be in a relationship until you're ready.

HateTheDF · 15/05/2018 00:01

Similar to a PP - I would love to introduce you to my DB. You sound lovely :)

Original poster
Ohgodawkward · 15/05/2018 00:25

...at what age would it start to get “weird” though?

OP posts:
Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 15/05/2018 00:28

That you are 25, with a decent but not perfect job and are single???

Original poster
Ohgodawkward · 15/05/2018 00:33

No the relationship thing. FWIW job is like a legal grad scheme: not much time for socialising yet I do want a relationship

OP posts:
Happinessisabook · 15/05/2018 00:34

My best mate is 27, has dated but not had any ltr or had sex.
As far as I'm concerned, good for her. She knows what she wants and what she is happy to do and isn't and that's brilliant. I'd hate for her to feel like she has to sleep with someone she didn't want to because it would be "weird" not to.
Thankfully she's confident and happy enough to own her choices and revise to do things she isn't happy with.

Happinessisabook · 15/05/2018 00:35

Revise should've been refuse

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2018 00:37

Honestly, of you said that to me I'd wonder why you were telling me.

I presume you are concerned about this?
Would you like long term relationship - I'm guessing so or you wouldn't be posting.

If so, what can you / do you want to do about it?

LilQueenie · 15/05/2018 00:46

I had a form of social anxiety as a child and that continued through my twenties I didn't have a relationship till I was 27. felt weird but really its just other peoples opinions that make it that way.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 15/05/2018 00:53

Then I would describe you as having a rubbish job since you described it as “good enough” which generally means you hate it

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 15/05/2018 00:54

But more so I would say attention seeking and anxiety prone looking for reassurance and approval

Original poster
Ohgodawkward · 15/05/2018 00:55

Attention seeking? Confused

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 15/05/2018 00:57

OP "weird" is someone else's opinion only.

Your life is your life...to lead as you see fit.

If you've not met anyone yet that you like enough for a relationship, that's not weird. It's just the way things are.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 15/05/2018 01:02

How is asking on a social forum not a form of seeking attention??? Even if anonymous are you not asking for responses, not a criticism just unsure how this is not true?

AjasLipstick · 15/05/2018 01:15

Why the OP is asking for opinions on how she's perceived. There's nothing wrong with that but you're implying that there's something negative about it.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 15/05/2018 01:19

Is a negative not an honest way someone is perceived a lot in real life?

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 15/05/2018 01:22

Truely people form images, some positive, some negative on a small number of facts. If honesty is asked for why is it being mean to point out either?

Candyflip · 15/05/2018 01:25

I would think you were lacking in confidence. And that you had had quite a sheltered upbringing.

Puffycat · 15/05/2018 01:27

First boyfriend age 13, holding hands, going to cinema, v sweet
First physical relationship (sex) age 18, safe sex, nice guy, both willing.
Lots in between, fell in and out of love, la la la,
Met love of my life age 31,
Married, kids, happy as all hell.
Yes, I think there’s something not quite right about your situation, BUT, hey it’s your life, make it a happy one!

Original poster
Ohgodawkward · 15/05/2018 01:31

Fucking hell Puffycat don’t hold back now?!

Back atcha: 18 went to top university, had a lot of fun, lived abroad, lots of wild nights out and semi one night stands minus the sex bit. 22 started competitive grad job with lots of exams, earning good money and dating but city lifestyle very fast and all consuming. Also happy as all hell

OP posts: