3yo (4 in Sept) isn't potty trained yet. He is awaiting a full paediatric assessment for additional needs, we already know from assessments by educational psychologist and a speech and language therapist that he definitely has speech and communication delay, and I suspect ASD to be at the root cause of it (though don't want to tell family that until I'm absolutely certain).
He is verbal, and improving every day. We still hear a lot of echolalia but it's mixed in with full sentences and he's started using verbs too. He's also getting a bit better at social cues eg waving and saying goodbye, offering hugs and kisses.
But he will never, has never, communicated to us that he a) needs the toilet b) has soiled himself. I tried putting him in pants so that he could feel the wetness/discomfort but he just continued to wet/soil himself - for two weeks. So we scrapped it because it was VERY messy.
If we put him on the potty he just gets straight off. Same with the loo. He will not stay on it. We can't bribe or convince him to either.
Anyway, I'm just trying to justify that I have tried to PT him, but it just hasn't worked. So we're just going wait until the late summer then try to give it all another go then.
The problem is that my family, my DF in particular, just cannot get their heads around him still being in nappies and bring it up with me at every opportunity. DF has even got his sister asking me about it now. I've told him, them, over and over that he's not ready yet but then the next time we're on the phone I get 'How's his potty training going? Is he out of nappies yet?!'
AIBU to just tell people to fuck off (ok, maybe a more polite version) when they ask me about this? Raising a child with AN is hard enough without having to explain over and over again why they're not hitting milestones.