How do I shift this stone?

[WittgensteinsBunny]

I’m 36, 2 dds and think I eat a healthy diet, I’ve started exercising more after a fairly sendatry winter with moving house. 2 years ago when dd2 was a year old I was at my happy weight of 9 stone. Since stopping breastfeeding last summer I just seem to have piled on the weight. I am unhappy. I hate my body.

At Xmas I was 10 stone 2. Since Xmas I’ve given up drinking completely, started exercising. Today I asked them to weigh me at the gym and I’m 10 stone 3. I’m absolutely devastated. I haven’t stopped crying since I left the gym. It’s not muscle. I lose weight when exercising - or at least used to.

I want this stone gone. Please let me know your best weight loss tips. I’m 5’ 5.

I have to say I’m actually surprised your not losing weight on what you eat. I have been a steady weight all my life (within the “healthy” range) and I eat proper butter, drink full fat milk, plenty of carbs! Lol. I enjoy red wine too. I don’t go to the gym either, I like walking but that’s about it. I guess I am very lucky but I am genuinely surprised that people have to cut down this much. People have come up with what are probably very good suggestions but I know I would struggle with that being a permanent change in eating habits, which I think you’d have to do to maintain it.

There’s a woman I know who is literally living on slimming shakes, and has been for about 3 months. She keeps saying to us all “do I look like i’m Losing weight?” And, if i’m Being honest, no she doesn’t!

It seems you were happy until you stepped on the scales. So I guess what I’m saying is, if you want to make further changes food wise, go for it. But equally don’t beat yourself up about what the scales say, or get depressed about where you feel you “should” be weight wise. I’ve watched my sister struggle with dieting all her life (where she loses it but it goes back on once she eats normally) and I do feel bad for her.

The comments about boulders in the garden have made me laugh I love MN!

Thank you for all telling me it’s what I eat. It is. I’ve just set up MyFitnessPal (again, I appear to have had a log in from when DD2 was 4 months’ old in 2015!) I’ve really watched what I’ve eaten over lunch / this morning and I weighed my lunch based on the advice here. It seemed like a small portion of lunch weighed out. But I’m perfectly full now. I’ve only had water since my breakfast coffee. I’ve had 530 calories today. I can’t imagine what I’ve been eating in calories up until now.

The NHS say 1500 to maintain my weight based on activity and BMI, MyFitnessPal recommends 1200 calories a day. I’m doing 3 excercise classes a week plus 45 mins of swimming and about 3500 steps a day on my fitness tracker doing the school run : housework. More on days when I’m taking DDs to the park / soft play.

Thank you so much for all the help

Good luck OP!

My top tips are drinking a pint of water before each meal or snack, and (this one sounds silly) sometimes I eat meals with chopsticks as it slows me down and gives my stomach time to register that I am actually full.

A lot is psychological I find, when I haven't drank much water I am super hungry and I feel miserable about the small size of a meal or snack before I even start to eat it, because I know it'll be over too quickly. But when I've filled up a little on water I find I enjoy the smaller meal or snack as much as if it's a bigger one, as there is less space in my stomach for it to fill.

Healthy eating gets a bad rap but it's a pleasure to eat a diet full of lovely tasty healthy nourishing food, I just had a really basic avocado salad for lunch which was around 380 calories (almost all in the avocado) and absolutely delicious! I'm a chip fiend normally but it was as tasty as a chippy, just in a different way, and without the guilt and grease regret after.

I also recommend not cutting anything out of your diet, you can eat anything you like as long as it's within your calorie goal. So you can have that 400 calorie pastry if you really want it as long as you're willing to cut your dinner later down to a hundred calories. Thinking of it in that way really makes me think twice about whether it's actually worth it or not.

I save loads of money too not eating out.

Enjoy it, enjoy treating your body well and promoting good health :) and well done for having the determination to do something about the problem before it gets worse and you have even more to lose. Whenever I feel down I remind myself I'm only losing a stone and a half, and there are amazing people out there who've managed to lose ten, twenty stone, so I'm sure I can do this.

It's a cliche and I know it was co opted by the awful pro ana movement, but I strongly believe nothing tastes as good as thin feels. The pleasure of enjoying my body and liking how I look and being able to wear lovely clothes without limiting myself far outweighs the momentary pleasure of the extra food I don't need.

Preparation is so key too. Do a meal plan for the next two weeks and a food shop specifically for that food, get a meal planner board and stick it on the fridge so every day you know what you are going to be eating.

And finally, every night when you finish your MyFitnessPal diary, input your food for the next day. I find it much easier to stick to when I wake up knowing what I'll be eating instead of having to make those choices during the day while I'm potentially hungry or emotional in some way.

Well done OP on getting started with My Fitness Pal. I've found it amazing to see how many calories are in things and I dread to think how much I used to eat.

Have you tried overnight oats? I find they're fantastic for breakfast and relatively low in calories especially if you use 0% fat yoghurt.

Good for you starting Right now OP, it’s so easy to moan about weight then say oh I’ll start tomorrow/next week etc.

I think weighing food and my fitness pal even if you only do this for a while is always a real eye opener about calories and portion size.

Well done OP!!
Just remember to try and eat low cal foods that are dense in nutrition - fill your plates with salads and veggies, with some low fat protein and you'll find that you won't go hungry. Make the most of the 1200 cals you're allowed. On the days when you burn a lot through exercise you can always either feel smug that your calorie deficit is high, or have a treat!

Trust the deficit - CICO (calories in, calories out) and good luck :)

Reduce the carbs, stop plate picking (were all guilty there!) and drink water when you feel a little hungry or have a protien shake to ride you over.

65kg down after surgery and weight management since last April so I'm protien rich diet.

I cut out bread, pasta, snacks and sugary things. I only had a bit of dark chocolate at the end of the day.

Breakfast: Porridge with fruit

Lunch: Salmon, Avocado, egg or chicken Salad

Dinner: Meat with rice/potatoes, curries, with salad

Also control your portions. Increase your meat and salad intake and reduce the carbs.

It really worked for me and I didn’t even exercise.

Good luck

well done op
remember if you stumble and have a blow out or feel bit hungrier don't dig at yourself over it.this is your life.you cant stumble or fail at life so an off day is simply that another day in your life.you haven't failed.breathe,then move onwards.
find those veggies you love so you can portion big on them.
and portion sizes are great but be cautious on how some can make you feel.for example I never have or will stick to a portion of the cereal sixe they say on packet.its not mouthful and the first time iweighed it out shocked and made me feel so much guilt! bt I new it was balanced out elsewhere and branflakes wasn't my issue!
don't lose heart.you sound like your doing bloody amazing things here.
and that healthy mindset in itself means your healthier.that thinking is really strengthening and inspiring.
and remember you've got so much going for you outside your weight so make that fill ur life rather than food and weight.make life happy so you can be and want to be too.
I see so much strength and effort in you.so much determination and drive.and you sound so sensitive and a warm soul.you can do this.dont beat urself up ok.

I am in exactly the same boat as you! I'd have said I ate healthily but I hadn't taken into account how much I was eating. I downloaded MyFitnessPal and added a couple of days of what I'd been eaten and was horrified to see just how many calories I was eating in a day. No wonder I'd put on a stone. Have since been tracking my calories and eating 1470 a day (and not eating exercise calories) and I'm down 6lb already. Key for me has been mindful eating and not the mindless snacking and polishing off kids leftovers as well. You can do it!!!!

I literally could have written this! I am 5'5" currently been 10 stone for almost 18 months with the intention of getting back down to 9 stone... I started running a couple of months ago (I am not amazing but recently managed my 1st 5K in 29 mins so no terrible either) - still 10 stone! Now making sure I hit 10K steps every day on top of running 3 or 4 times a week, but I have come to the conclusion it's what I stuff in my gob that is the problem since I am exercising regularly now and losing precisely ZILCH! Good Luck x

Another 10st, 5'5" -er here! And this thread has really inspired me! I have been watching my weight creep up and up and felt frustrated about but done precisely nothing!

I have just downloaded my fitness pal and will go from there. Looking at all your posts, I dread to think how many calories I have been eating

I'm 5ft5 and would love to be 10 stone

Just cut carbs at lunch or dinner.

there are no weight loss foods. a diet that works every time is a diet that fails every time - i.e. all of them.

right food in right portions.

I stopped eating carbs (bread, pasta, rice, biscuits - the obvious ones) and lost a stone, the weight literally fell off. I'd heard of low carbing but honestly couldn't believe how easy it was to lose weight this way. It probably helped that I love the gym and go 4-5 times a week for 1.5 hours of cardio and free weights.

Humm. Is it really only calories in, calories out though? Surely it matters where the calories come from? 100 cals of brown rice is going to be better for you than 100 cals of crisps.

I do wonder if by restricting calories your body gets used to eating less and your metabolism slows down.

@OwlinaTree - if you eat less calories that your body burns in day then you will lose weight.
How nutritional your calorie intake is, is up to you. Obviously a low calorie diet is going to be a lot easier to stick to if you can stretch your calories as far as you can with nutrition dense low calorie foods such as salad and veg, with some low fat protein and healthy carbs (such as brown rice!).

You could eat 1200 cals worth of chocolate bars and crisps per day and still lose weight, but you'd be starving all the time and feel like shit. As opposed to a good plate full rainbow of foods which will keep you healthy and full until your next meal.

Low cal diets are all about calorie "budgeting" and avoiding foods classed as "empty calories" i.e. those with a high calorific content and little to no nutritional value.

By eating plenty of good foods and sticking to a calorie budget, and regular exercise, you can easily keep your metabolism up and probably improve it!

Download MyFitnessPal and track your food and drink. Calculate your basal calorie requirement and subtract 500cals from the total. Eat a good balance of protein, carbs (yes carbs they are not bad for you!) and fats. I prefer a 40:30:30 ratio and plan my meals accordingly.

Take protein and carbs straight after a workout and break your meals down into smaller portions throughout the day, i.e eat every 2-3 hours to keep you body in a metabolic state.

Try to cut out or limit sugars and eat more greens like broccoli, spinach and cauliflower, also drink plenty of water throughout the day as hunger pangs can be triggered by not having enough water. Also I find having my last meal before 7pm beneficial.

Hope that helps.

I think you have to be careful not to go too low though. Hit that spot where your metabolism stays fast but you have a calorie deficit.

I wonder whether people end up eating more than they would because they think ohh I've got 100cals left today, what can I have. That's not listening to your body is it.

Yes, this is why apps like My Fitness Pal are great, they calculate how much calories you need to eat in a day based on your age, weight, height and activity levels.

As a general rule, anything under 1000 cals a day is considered dangerous. If you feel too restricted, you can always decrease the amount you want to lose per week to e.g. 1lb and have some extra calories to use. And you're still losing weight.

You're right, using your calories up every day for the sake of it is not great. Use them if you're hungry. Save them if you're not!
I used to try and stick to about 1100 a day and then have one day on the weekend where I'd have a cheat meal and wouldn't feel guilty because I'd already budgeted for it.

If you're unhappy with your weight, then I'd try to make permanent changes to your lifestyle and eating habits. Don't see it as "going on a diet" as that assumes that at some point you're going to come off the diet. See yourself as making changes which will help you be happier and healthier for the rest of your life :) And yes, if you do decide to do a CICO diet, you're going to be hungry at times because you have to burn body fat for energy for a while rather than consumed food.
But you'll get there, it takes time. And then move to maintenance calories and keep the good habits :)

It’s the portion sizes. I’ve been measuring and weighing everything for 24 hours now. I even calculated the calories in a homemade apple crumble last night (310 per portion and the potions looked really small so I’d have easily served myself double that in the past) and I can see now that I’ve just been over eating for being any less than my 10 stone resting weight. I don’t want this to creep up so rather than see this as a diet it’s just an exercise in being better informed about potions and what foods contain. And learning to eat a little less. My habits are leftover from pregnancy and breastfeeding when I probably did need 200 or 300 more calories a day to breastfeed 2 under 2 and then look after small people all day. Now they’re at school / preschool
I’m less active and less busy too. I’ve also worked out that I drink very milky and high calorie tea and lots of it. Switching this to water or peppermint or chamomile tea, and using more oat milk in coffee / proper tea is an easy way to drop some calories. Bread too. I’m not cutting out carbs but making sure they’re wholegrain and eating less of them everyday. So breakfast this morning : 1 Slice of whole meal bread, 1 boiled egg, 1 coffee with oat milk is only 272 calories, I’m going to make a salad with some houmous for lunch, I’ve had roasted peas as a snack this morning and tofu curry with a small serving of brown rice tonight. I was really surprised that I was so hungry at the girls tea time last night and could happily have helped myself to a few spoons of pesto pasta or finished off one of their yoghurts. I had 1 French bean and made a nice cup of mint tea instead. 5pm is clearly a time I’m eating another meal in the day plus I checked the calories in our dinner last night and slashed 280 by not having a ciabatta roll with my bean burger and sweet potato chips. I added loads more salad and felt perfectly full.

Thanks for all the advice.

I agree with others in that you’re eating too much even if it’s a good diet. I’ve done mpf and lost about half a stone in it over a couple of months (I’m slight and it’s all on belly) last year. It meant eating no crap and I mean nothing! At work I said no to everything!! As it was for an event I put it all back on over last summer but I have pulled myself together again to lose 3lbs in about 6 weeks. I could’ve lost faster but I don’t want to cut out everything and then binge when I get to ideal which seems to happen. I have just cut down on carbs and crap and had smaller portions. If I eat a big lunch I’ll have a smaller dinner etc. I need to lose another 3lbs to be ‘ideal’ which prob will take another month or so, which is fine.

I was really surprised that I was so hungry at the girls tea time last night and could happily have helped myself to a few spoons of pesto pasta or finished off one of their yoghurts. I had 1 French bean and made a nice cup of mint tea instead.

Well done!

The first week for me I found I was ravenous all the time. But I try to see it as a good thing, it's normal to be hungry sometimes. As a primitive human we wouldn't have had a constant source of food, there'd be droughts where we were hungry and times of plenty. I feel like the occasional period of simply sitting with and tolerating the hunger is good as it reminds me that my body is probably burning fat or doing something helpful haha. And it makes me think that it really isn't good to have a lifestyle when you NEVER feel hungry, as it means you're eating before you're actually in need of food. I'm so used to feeling a bit hungry then grabbing food, it's been really empowering to learn to sit and just notice it without doing something about it for a while.

Obviously I'm eating enough, but it does take time to get used to not having humongous portions.

If it's a while until my next meal I'll have something less then 50 calories or so like a small apple, clementine, rice cake with a smidgen of marmite, handful of cherry tomatoes,even a biscuit is fine as long as you only have the one.

I've just had a look at your BMI OP and it's right in the middle of healthy on the chart so I don't think you need to worry too much about losing weight

bmicalculatoruk.com/