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Original poster

To wonder why people only do their own washing?

563 replies

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 01:03

Just that really.

I see so many posts where people say DP's or any child over the age of about 12 do their own washing. Surely it's easier to just empty the laundry basket and do one wash of everyones washing rather than have 4 people do 4 washes with not much in it.

OP posts:
mumx5inuk · 15/05/2018 18:41

my ex never used the vacuum, washing machine or dishwasher

rOsie80 · 15/05/2018 18:46

We both work really hard, earn the same and have toddler to look after. We are pretty time poor. I don't do my partner's washing as it takes twice the time to hang out, iron, food and put away as it does the rest - he can share the burden. I'm damned if I'm going to live with a man who can't operate the bloody thing or do these chores himself or have my son grow up thinking someone will always do this stuff for him. Of course, at some point if he wants to pay someone else to do it then fine, but right now we have other financial priorities.

Sennelier1 · 15/05/2018 18:47

I've always been a SAHM, and did the laundry for everybody (DP, DD and DD). It's not rocket-science, just put it in the machine, add washing product, put the machine on. When the children grew up and wanted to put a load on themselves because they wanted something asap, I teached them to not wash half loads and always check if anybody else wanted something done. I think that's what you do if you care for each-other?

ChiefSpoon · 15/05/2018 18:48

In my house this is the case. We have a basket each and it's washed on it's own. We have different allergies and all use different products. Each persons washing is only done when their basket is full (fills the washer). So it doesn't make any difference, I do do the 7 month olds washing for him mind!

QuiteCleanBandit · 15/05/2018 18:52

Sennelier
I care very much for my DH and DC
I dont see what that has to do with laundry.
Its basic life stuff,women are always sold the "if you care bullshit" so that they end up doing everything .
Bollocks to that !
I love my DH even more now that I dont wash his pants Grin

rOsie80 · 15/05/2018 18:54

I think it's different for SAHM. If I was and someone else paying my upkeep, I'd take on more domestic responsibility. Not sure I'd be happy about it mind. Looking after little kids more than a full time job anyway, especially if not in nursery and home all the time. Men who just go out to work and expect their wives to do everything else, including organise them are from the dark ages and not equipped for the modern world.

rOsie80 · 15/05/2018 18:55

Sennelier too right!!

Icanttakemuchmore · 15/05/2018 18:56

PS. Dh does the washing for all too. Also he can and will hoover cook clean iron etc. We both work doing similar job same hours and earn the same so we share the load. Although because of my chemo he does do all on that week bless him

Dreamingofkfc · 15/05/2018 19:01

My husband and I have always done our own washing. I have loads of clothes so don't tend to need to do as much washing as he does, so it just started like that and carried on. Don't think it's miserable doing it this way as previously mentioned.

celticprincess · 15/05/2018 19:10

Wow MN is the first place I’ve heard of this. As a child and teen I grew up where the washing was all done on a weekend. The main laundry bin was in the bathroom and parents had one in their bedroom. The whole lot was sorted into darks, coloureds, whites etc. Then washed, dried and ironed. As we got older we would be expected to help with all those things (dad never ever did any). When I went to uni and shared a house I just did my own but washed when I had a full load (and often mixed things my mother would have cursed me for). When ex and I lived together it all went in one basket and was sorted according to colour and washed together. This was a case of whoever was not doing something would put a load on. Kids came along and loads got bigger so I did start splitting a kids load and adults loads. Kids aren’t 12 yet and I’m now a single parent. All kids stuff is sorted by me for colours and mine separately due to the sheer amount. When they’re older they’ll just pitch in with the various piles, not necessarily their own!! They do sometimes put their own stuff away though.

rOsie80 · 15/05/2018 19:12

Who wants to spend the weekend doing the bloomin washing!!

PopGoesTheWeaz · 15/05/2018 19:17

Because I am not the laundry fairy and not sure why I should do 400% more clothes than I wear? (I used to, anot about twice a year other family members helped with this chore and only then when I made a fuss.)

Also, its only easier for the people getting a free ride. It would take me 4 times as long to peg out and/or fold and or iron if it were being done for 4 people.

Also, my things get ruined when others in the family do them.

MelanieCheeks · 15/05/2018 19:24

I used to do all together, but these days we each do our own.

Dh shoves all his in, prefers a detergent with a softener, and then shoves everything into the tumble drier.

I sort mine and hand wash any delicates, use an eco egg, hang up about half my things and tumble dry the rest. I do lots of running and dancing, so I have more washing and probably put on 1 or 2 loads per week, dh just the 1.

Everyone finds what system works for them, surely.

speakout · 15/05/2018 19:31

why I should do 400% more clothes than I wear?

Why do you cook 400% more food than you need?
Why do you or others wash more plates than they use?

Because they are a family. Familes do things for each other.

Carriecakes80 · 15/05/2018 19:31

Yes I do my familys washing, but I have taught them how to use the machine, and If I have a bad head or me and the husband go out for the evening, the kids can sort the washing, but we don't split it, we do whites, darks, and the inbetweenies! lol.

I don't get anyone who says they wouldn't do washing for another adult, why??? They are dirty clothes, bung 'em in together! Saying that, my husband is the best at getting on top of the washing. :-) He gets me gussetts nice n scrubbed! lol

smilingontheinside · 15/05/2018 19:34

My oh is such an ungrateful lazy arse that I gave up doing his washing years ago, made me laugh when he had no idea how to switch the machine on Grin

Shmithecat · 15/05/2018 19:38

I do all the laundry (me, dh and ds, 2yo). I cannot have dirty laundry languishing in baskets for days so I put one or two washes on every day. I'm a SAHM so most domestic duties are done by me - although even when I worked FT, laundry was still done every day. Bedding and towels once a week. I don't iron though. My cleaner does that when she's here. It wouldn't occur to me to not do any other household member's washing. Ds is too young and dh pays all the bills. Seems like a fair deal to me!

MiddleMoffat · 15/05/2018 19:38

DP tends to do his own as he wears mainly black clothing. I don't own any black clothing.

It sits and festers in the laundry bin. He works from home a lot as do I and it doesn't ocurr to him to put a wash on until he has run out of socks/boxers. I do not wish to touch his festering smalls so he has to do it.

I do mine and the kids and household is about 70% me, 30% him. It would never ocurr to him to strip the beds for example.

tabulahrasa · 15/05/2018 19:39

“Why do you cook 400% more food than you need?
Why do you or others wash more plates than they use?”

Well I don’t always, because my family are all adults... my DC are 18 and 22. The easiest way to do cooking is for 4, so one person will do that, the same with dishes. But that doesn’t need co-ordinating in the same way as washing for 4. Someone has either made dinner or done the dishes or they haven’t.... it can’t be the wrong dinner or dishes that are done.

The easiest way I’ve found to make sure everyone has the clean clothes they want, without it being the same person being responsible for it all is for each person to take the responsibility of their own washing, but to fill it with others at the same time if it’s not full.

LittlePaintBox · 15/05/2018 19:40

My husband has always done his own washing and my sons started doing their own round about the age of 10 - I think it was the best way to make sure the clothes they wanted were clean. It's not something I trained them to do, they just did it on their own.

Bekstar · 15/05/2018 19:40

Speakout

I think you misunderstood me, I was referring to what people are saying regarding sweperating each family members, of course I separate colours etc (unless husband has really upset me then I may slip a red sock in with his white shirts) but I don't get those who insist on only doing their own when they are part of the family. We take turns to do it, everyone does it at one point or other it would be pointless to separate hubby's from mine n DS' it would just add dramatically to the wash loads. As it is we do about 3 wash load twice a week. If we did it separately we would be doing about 9-10

CoupleOfPushBacks · 15/05/2018 19:43

When I lived at home my DM did everyone's washing.

When I lived with Dsis & DS, I did all of our washing.

Now it's just me and DS, I do both of ours.

Even when he's old enough to do it himself, I will still do it or maybe say to him, washing needs I be done, can you stick a load on.

I'd be pretty pissed if he only did his own!

PopGoesTheWeaz · 15/05/2018 19:44

Speakout that is precisely why I shouldn't. I already do over and above my share of the housework and carry more than my share of the mental load. This is a really clear and easy way for everyone to be accountable for their own maintenance.

Do you all take one single shower together? No? What, do you not care about them? But it was save so much time and energy. Good greif.

Also, the analogy doesn't work because a. eating meals are communal and b. if everyone was in the kitchen cooking their own meal there would be not enough room, duplication of work, food would go to waste, etc. None of these are the case with laundry. It is a task (at least with out setup) where everyone can act individually without it causing any more overall work.

At the end of the day, every family needs to find what works for them and this is the best way for us to divvy up chores and for the DC to learn some independence.

MsAwesomeDragon · 15/05/2018 19:49

Anything in the wash basket gets washed at the weekend. Dh does it. If dd1 needs things she "forgot" to put in the basket done, she has to do them herself, but if it's not a full load she gets extras from the main basket to go in with hers. If dh or I rarely me tbh are doing a load and have space in it we ask if she's got anything to add to it.

It's not really the putting clothes in the washing machine and turning it on that's the problem with laundry. If it then magically dried itself and put itself away I'd have claimed laundry as one of my jobs, but it doesn't and that's the faffy bit. With a family of 4 we do about 4/5 loads of washing a week, I don't want to do it all, so dh does it all we share it between the 3 adults in the house.

PopGoesTheWeaz · 15/05/2018 19:55

(our setup not out setup)

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