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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how NOT to piss off our new neighbours?

48 replies

PeapodBurgundy · 13/05/2018 18:25

We're about to close sale on our first home, and really don't want to cause a chew on.

There are improvements to be done, as many as possible before I give birth in August, so there is going to be a fair amount of mess and noise by nature of renovations. Some of it is going to be outside (a conservatory which involves a [our] fence pane coming out on temp basis and some trees to cut back) so it is going to impact on them. Obviously this is going to be kept to a minimum where possible, but can't be avoided completely.

I was planning on popping over to introduce ourselves, taking some nice biscuits, and warning/apologizing in advance. I've no experience of such things having only rented thus far. What's the etiquette here? Is this okay? Is there more I should consider? Advice appreciated Smile

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 13/05/2018 18:27

Maybe also give them an email address in case builders piss them off?

Justwanttoweeinpeace · 13/05/2018 18:30

We sent a hand written card to all our neighbours introducing ourselves, giving a brief outline of our plan and a number to call.

Most came back with a welcoming text. One was a pain but I think having a number to call with a real person on the end is better than an email address.

Also maybe add to the card that once you're settled you'd love to have them over for coffee / a drink. Show willing 😊

AnneProtheroe · 13/05/2018 18:32

I was planning on popping over to introduce ourselves, taking some nice biscuits, and warning/apologizing in advance

This is a nice idea. You can give them your rough timescale, too and say that you're looking forward to moving in. Most people are reasonable if you let them know what's happening. Good luck for your new home and new baby! :)

mumisaworry · 13/05/2018 18:34

I gave those joined to me a bunch of flowers every Friday (just a small supermarket bunch) with a little note giving a quick update!

SleepFreeZone · 13/05/2018 18:35

To be honest even if you’re nice, if you do lots of renovations directly you move in, they will get annoyed.

This happened to us. New neighbours moved in, perfectly nice, started ripping their house apart and adding doors and fences and wanting us to contribute to the cost. I’m afraid we fell out and we don’t communicate at all now.

IWantMyHatBack · 13/05/2018 18:35

My neighbours did this last year. Basically gutted the house completely in about 3 months. It was mostly OK tbh, they were quite considerate.

Pop over and have a word when you move in so they know what to expect. Tell them you need to get as much done as possible before the baby arrives - having an end date will help it not to feel like there's just endless building work going on.

The one thing that did get pretty annoying after months of work going on was all the work vans on their drive, and sometimes half on mine as well, but most of it was during the day though so not too bad.

Obviously try and limit work done too late into the evening. Another new neighbour had loads of pictures to hang up, and seemed to mostly do it at 9pm.

BrownTurkey · 13/05/2018 18:35

I would introduce, but don’t make complaints too easy! I found our builders constantly parked across the driveway of a family opposite. On the other hand our other neighbour constantly bothered them about stupid things but never spoke to us.

SharkSave · 13/05/2018 18:37

I think your idea is fine but agree that a phone number is better. However, a lot of it will come down to being courteous during the works. No blocking their drive, working at reasonable times etc

Original poster
PeapodBurgundy · 13/05/2018 18:39

Should have said in OP we're doing everything we legally can ourselves (funding issues) so no shouty builders, but it won't be swift!

Good idea on the number, messaging might be easier for them if there's something we CAN do.

OP posts:
namechangedtoday15 · 13/05/2018 18:40

Speak to them to discuss it rather than "tell" them your plan. They might have organised a family party or BBQ for a particular weekend and don't want a fence panel missing. They might work from home / work shifts. Of course you can carry out the work but its coming up to summer and people want to be in the garden. Agree perhaps that builders won't start before 8 and will finish at 4, never be noisy at weekends etc.

Just be courteous. You'll be glad of a good relationship with neighbours. Imagine they said, oh, we're starting out extension in 4 months (when you're just home with a brand new baby).

Original poster
PeapodBurgundy · 13/05/2018 18:46

Nothing at unreasonable times, I have 2 year old DS to consider too, but OH shift works, so there has to be weekend work to get done in time

The fence is only for cosmetics so can be left up if they object

OP posts:
nancy75 · 13/05/2018 18:54

House next to us had building work for 3 months just before Xmas.
The main things that annoyed me were vans blocking my drive & noise on weekends.
I understand that they wanted it done quickly but it’s important to remember your neighbours are getting no benefit from your building works, they are just being inconvenienced. If I’m honest I wouldnt have minded too much if they had worked just on the Saturdays but listening to drilling all day on Sundays really did wind me up

namechangedtoday15 · 13/05/2018 18:54

You need to plan the weekend work then so it's not noisy and only for part of one day of the weekend e.g. Sat am. It's unreasonable to do more than that over the key summer months

AmazingPostVoices · 13/05/2018 18:57

I think your plan is good.

Introduce yourselves, tell them your plans and apologise in advance. Give them your number.

When it’s all done invite them in for coffee and a look see.

LadyLapsang · 13/05/2018 19:04

I think discuss the timing with them and try to be accommodating, for example if one of their children were sitting GCSEs or A Levels and were on study leave, or if they worked nights, they would not want noise. Also, make sure you don't do noisy work when it is not allowed.

rookiemere · 13/05/2018 19:05

I think discussing in advance and box of chocolates/some wine is definitely the way to go, also give them your number and encourage them to contact you if any issues.

That way if they get parked in by builders or other problems with them, they can go direct to you - after all it's your building work and they shouldn't have to mess around with trying to get out of their own drive.

Our lovely neighbour ( one removed) had a lot of work done and there seemed to be vans there all the time which made getting out of our drive tricky due to our cul de sac set up, and I would have appreciated a bit of a heads up or a thank you in advance for understanding. That said she is lovely and gives DS quite a lot of lifts so I couldn't really complain.

Missingstreetlife · 13/05/2018 19:15

Do you need planning permission?

namechangedtoday15 · 13/05/2018 19:16

Or a Party Wall Agreement?

Tara336 · 13/05/2018 19:19

I don’t think you can win with some people tbh. One neighbour who we were joined to was greatly affected due to our renovations but was an angel and never complained despite me telling her to let me know if there was a problem. Neighbour who we are not joined too, was at work all day and home long after the builders left did nothing but complain about minor issues ie a plank of wood leaning against our side of fence. We don’t speak now as her complaints were becoming more and more ludicrous and she called the police because the builders HAD to work on a Saturday morning to put a lintel in as it was an emergency

Original poster
PeapodBurgundy · 13/05/2018 19:21

No permissions needed for the conservatory or trees, I checked before the offer went in.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 13/05/2018 19:25

TBH, if a house is sold or on the market , I'd expect a fair bit of building work and renovation to go on, before the sale and once the new owners take over.

There are 2 empty houses in my street, I'm sort of dreading if when they go on the market because I'm 100% sure there will be extensions, side returns and OSP done , possibly gardens refitted.

Its a narrow road with inadequate parking so if it does, I'm cracking my knuckles at the ready Grin

YY to being considerate about noise, times of work going on and your builders blocking drives.

divadee · 13/05/2018 19:26

Please please be considerate of weekend working. Our downstairs neighbour has gutted her flat and done the majority herself. It took from September to March and we had banging and crashing every weekend. When you work full time and have a young baby it grates on you and we have now fallen out with the neighbour as she refused to stop drilling when our baby was sick and it was 9pm. We had the drilling all day and it just got too much.

Try and get the noisy work done in the week and do the quiet stuff at the weekends.

Original poster
PeapodBurgundy · 13/05/2018 19:33

TBH very little of it is excessively noisy with it being self build conservatory, it's prefab to click together no industrial tools, it's more the mess longer term, although the trees will be both, that's only 1 day

There won't be vans either

OP posts:
hildabaker · 13/05/2018 19:35

I know that there are regulations about the hours that you can have work carried out in your home, certainly where I live, anyway. The regulations here forbid the weekend or after a certain hour weekdays. It might be worth checking that too OP.

Fossie · 13/05/2018 19:43

If you have any plans or drawings of the conservatory then give your neighbours a copy. We did that and it made the conversations easier as they knew exactly what was going to appear.

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