to ask how NOT to piss off our new neighbours?

[PeapodBurgundy]

We're about to close sale on our first home, and really don't want to cause a chew on.

There are improvements to be done, as many as possible before I give birth in August, so there is going to be a fair amount of mess and noise by nature of renovations. Some of it is going to be outside (a conservatory which involves a [our] fence pane coming out on temp basis and some trees to cut back) so it is going to impact on them. Obviously this is going to be kept to a minimum where possible, but can't be avoided completely.

I was planning on popping over to introduce ourselves, taking some nice biscuits, and warning/apologizing in advance. I've no experience of such things having only rented thus far. What's the etiquette here? Is this okay? Is there more I should consider? Advice appreciated

If there aren’t vans, that’s a huge pressure off - tell them that! That’s my major concern with our neighbours as we share a drive. And if it’s not going to be noisy, tell them that too, and maybe tip them off when things ARE going to be noisy. The horrible thing with neighbours doing work is sometimes when you go to chill in the garden and they start drilling - is it going to last an hour? The rest of the day! Now until August?

That would go a long way for me. Manage expectations. Also - give me wine, and have me round for a nosey when you’re done!

A lot of councils have recommendations for times for DIY work. They are only recommendations because there aren't laws about what time you can do work on your house. Obviously, like your DH, sometimes the DIY-er works shifts so they have to do work intermittently. But, if you're working consistently outside the council's recommended hours the neighbours could get a noise complaint considered seriously. Their recommendations will be on their website - look up noise nuisance and it should link you eventually.

I think you're starting off on the right footing but do make sure, if you've got to do sustained noisy work, that you let them know when you're planning to finish. There's nothing worse than thinking you're having a peaceful weekend and having drilling or hammering all day. You may know you plan to finish at lunch time but the poor person next door who's already had four hours of it will be ready to put the hammer in a very dark place by then!

Be prepared to compromise. We had major building work done a few years ago and our neighbour came round to say his wife was going into hospital but would be out at the end of the week. We had a chat with the builder and they agreed to work on indoor stuff for a few days when she came out just to give her a bit of recuperation time. It's give and take - you have to live next door for a very long time.

No restrictions here outside of unsociable hours mentioned in the pack from the council re self build

A previous neighbour of ours did this. His wife came over with flowers and chocolates and said oh sorry about the noise, in advance; he then came over and said there would be quite a bit of work to be done I said no worries, we understand, then as he was walking off down drive he called back "oh and most of it will be done at the weekend".

In the event, despite it being noisy, only one day did I need to ask him what time he would finish work as we had a tutor coming over for DD's 11+ and if he could let me know, I could work tutor around it. He was furious. From that day on they only spoke to me if they had to, they invited all the neighbours kids to a big party but not mine etc.

Anyway, I don't think you are planning that OP?!

I'll go against the flow here and say do nothing.

People do work on their houses, especially if they've just moved in.

Giving them an email address to complain, well it will encourage complaints.

Get the right permissions, no noisy work at antisocial hours and no mess going into other people's gardens and you'll be fine.

If anyone does complain about anything and they're being reasonable, take action then, chocs, flowers, etc.

Should have said in OP we're doing everything we legally can ourselves (funding issues) so no shouty builders, but it won't be swift!

You’ll be shouting at each other after awhile. We did our own work when we gutted our big three story house and there was a lot of shouting. A lot of it - and swearing.

Grief no! How rude! Both sides have young kids too, I'm hoping for a good relationship for the kids to be able to play together if they get along; when I viewed there were loads of kids on the green outside in the snow together, it as a big part of why we put an offer in on this house

Compromises can be made easily if they ask, which is why I wanted to open the channels of communication from the off

Yes speak to them. I like the bunch of flowers update idea. If you can compromise to suit them I'm sure that will be much appreciated.
I will never forgive my neighbours for the way they handled their extensive renovations. They did not warn me at all and they seemed to be entirely clueless about how they were affecting all the neighbours with constant noise and dust throughout last summer.
I work from home, it made my life awful for months and I still feel jumpy about noise. I will ever fucking hate them for it.

I appreciate you want to have a good relationship with your neighbours, but be careful. You really don’t want to start off by giving them the impression that as they were there first they have any say on what & when you do stuff. Some people don’t need any encouragement to complain about perfectly ordinary stuff. You can see a lot of it on this thread...people complaining about others doing DIY at the weekends. Of course people are going to do that, they’re at work the rest of the bloody time. If you ask what suits them, then you’ll feel obliged to work around ones time to meditate, another’s baby naps 3 times a day, the one that puts their 6 year old to bed at 6 and expects silence....

IMO introduce yourself, be friendly, but just do what you need to do, when you need to do it, showing the same courtesy as you’d hope to be shown yourself.

My neighbour is a real card. Without a word to me to let me know he was going to do it, he installed his own kitchen on our party wall (there were times I thought he might be extending into my kitchen!) and he’s no handyman! He’s retired. It took him about 9 weeks of drilling, hammering, swearing, moaning, bashing, drilling, hammering...& so on. I smiled, we chatted, I commiserated, made him tea & gave him a few cold beers. All good. A couple of months later, one Saturday afternoon I removed the coving & skirting from the lounge on the other side of the house, by hand, no power tools, just a small amount of hitting a crow bar thingy with a hammer and he was around here in less than an hour of me starting complaining about the noise & the fact I hadn’t been polite enough to tell him I was going to do it ?! You couldn’t make it up😂

Introducing yourself and warning them is the best idea. They might not like the disturbance, who does, but at least they know what to expect.

Builders with a blaring radio outside for example is the best way to make the neighborhood hate you.

Finding out about their lifestyle might help too: if they leave for work at 6am, or are retired and in bed until 10am, it might be useful to know and work around it!

There's no need to apologise for your work or give a gift. I'd just write a note to everyone and put it in the letterboxes. It would have your contact details and a time scale with the chance for them to ask questions. For the trees being cut back - do have a chat with the neighbours directly.

When we did anot extention years ago we already knew our neighbours reasonably well and we're able to chat to them about our plans -no -one objected - and throughout the work kept them informed if something disruptive was happening eg.big delivery of materials.They were all totally brilliant and as a thank you we invited them all round for a bbq when all was finished.More recently we moved and knew we would be starting renovations almost immediately. We made a point of introducing ourselves personally and apologising in advance for builders and plumbers etc coming and going.Again all were very tolerant,and we took each house a couple of bottles of wine each with a thank you card.To me it pays dividends to get on the best terms with your neighbours.And face to face is always nice.

My builder & I agreed that it would be a good idea to put a note through the doors of our neighbours (I am on the corner of a large cul-de-sac) - they are mainly elderly and I know for a fact would have nothing else to think about/to occupy themselves with......The note had the contact details of the builder (in case there were any issues) & my mob number.

We didn't specify a definite time frame otherwise we would've been held to it. I had already built up a 'chatty relationship of sorts' with them as I was already living there for 2 years beforehand.

I also had a long chat with my immediate next-door neighbours.
We had to move out as it was too small to live in once the builders knocked through. I'm glad because it did get wearing being asked every day what was happening, why weren't the builders in on 3 consecutive days? Why had they gone after 3 hrs?

I see by your post that you are undertaking the work yourself - it will all take twice as long as you think it will.......communication and being realistic is the key and so long as you keep your neighbours informed and the noise to a minimum at weekends then you should be ok. Good luck

You sound lovely and considerate OP. I wished you lived on my road. We had neighbours a couple of doors down who did a complete house renovation I’m looking at you, number 36!!!. It seemed to take forever! Their scaffolding damaged the brickwork of my immediate neighbour and the Work made so much noise at the weekend that we couldn’t enjoy the garden. I get that sometimes these things need doing but it would have been nice for them to do what you are doing.

Giving them a warning when there will be noisy work going on would go a long way, even in 'sociable' hours.

Our new neighbours made so much noise with their work for months that it became awful to be at home. They weren't doing work every day and getting it done, it was all random times and days so you couldn't predict or plan around the noise.

Also, don't pull up all your carpet and install laminate flooring everywhere if you're attached. We were surprised when our new neighbours did this. It's amazing how sound carries through walls, especially at night and footsteps on laminate on upstairs floor boards are hideously noisy.

But other than that, just communicate with them. You don't have to stop what you need to get done because of your neighbours, but if you're considerate and let them know when works will go ahead, it's a really good start. They may well get annoyed but you won't have been ignorant or unreasonable to them

On a proper laptop now so I can reply properly. (I've been typing on my old one where half of the keys don't work, so I've had to copy and past in letters and punctuation!)

Thanks for the replies so far. It's going to be a nightmare enough as it is, OH shift works, and a lot of the work is at least a two man job. I'm already 26 weeks pregnant with an incompetent cervix, so I'm worse than useless in any practical sense with the vast majority of jobs. As such there are going to be some days where we're just going to HAVE to cram in as much as we can. If OH is off, and we have an offer of help, we can't waste that. That being said, we have a just turned 2 year old who is downright foul when over tired, so there won't ever be anything noisy going on early/late on. We spend Sunday mornings at DS's swimming lessons (OH comes with on the rare Sundays he has off), so there will always be the best part, if not all of Sundays quiet which will hopefully soften the blow of any other inconvenience.

A lot of the jobs are internal works, so moving the boiler should only cause noise on next door's landing while we remove it from the bedroom, then it's going on an external wall downstairs. The kitchen doesn't join with either side, and there isn't one in at the moment to rip out, so that will both reduce noise and mess, and speed up that job.

The big one that is going to create mess and noise is cutting down the tree in the front garden, and cutting back the ones in the back garden. The ones in the back garden side onto an alleyway shared just with us and the rental house next door, so there shouldn't be any issues with us kicking those back into a reasonable size and shape. I don't foresee issues with chopping down the one in the front, it's almost entirely obstructing one of next door's bedroom windows (opposite side, owner occupied) completely covering one of our bedroom windows (literally touching the glass), and it makes the front room like a cave when by rights it should be a lovely bright room. I should imagine they'll be glad to be rid of it to be honest. If they have significant objections, we can top and vigorously prune it, but I'd be VERY surprised if they mind. It's so out of hand we thought it may be protected, but it's definitely not, we checked all of the things we planned to do with the relevant council department before we put an offer in.

The conservatory will only be 3ft by 2.5ft, and only backs on to the side alleyway of their house, so won't even be near their garden. We could do with taking one fence panel out for one day while we render the blockwork which will be on that side, which isn't strictly necessary, so if they REALLY can't cope with it down for a day, we can leave it, as it won't be visible unless you peer through the gaps in the fence, and will be sealed and damp proofed on the inside.

We'll know the month in advance when we'll be doing bits when OH gets his rota, so there's time to shift plans if they have something significant going on we can try to fit around them as best we can.

I'm also planning a home birth, so hoping I manage as quietly as I did with DS or there may be real grounds for complaints going on here!

I'm on good terms with my current neighbours on the whole (anyone who saw my previous posts about my current next door neighbours will know there's an exception, but they have the full street demented sometimes, so I don't count them), I'd like to be that way in the new place too. We've chosen a property we can develop in the future if we need more space, and hope to be there for many years to come, the last thing we want is starting a chew with the neighbours as soon as we get there. The conservatory is going to be a play room, so with any luck, their children will be able to enjoy it with us when we get it finished. DS is a sociable little thing, so I'd like to build bridges if we can.

I would appreciate very much a neighbour letting me know there will be building works and for roughly how long. I find knowing an end date very helpful. I know everyone is entitled to do renovations but a heads up will make me more likely to tolerate the disruption with no ill will.

I remember your previous thread - so are you above to move Pea? I thought you were having to stay at the previous house for a while longer?

Nothing to add but just wanted to say my neighbour put one of those prefab conservatories up and it looks very nice went up quickly. They needed access to our side to mortar the gaps in the fake brickwork so you may need to ask permission to do this if yours abuts their land.

I would appreciate very much a neighbour letting me know there will be building works and for roughly how long. I find knowing an end date very helpful.
This ^^. The more info I had, the more tolerant I'd be (though I'm autistic so noise and disruption and change affect me maybe more than your average bod). It's a lot easier to put up with something if you know exactly when it will happen and for how long. Communication is key.

Staples Just negotiating a closing date that fits around the vendors holiday (we were all expecting to be moved by now!) and when OH can take a couple of days off from work. lots of people off on holiday at the moment. Nothing else holding us up now so we should be in soon

Liquid we're mongreling together a part prefab conservatory, part solid brick. There will be one completely solid wall with glass blocks along the top for light, then the other three walls pre-fab floor to ceiling glass, with a lightweight solid roof that we're doing ourselves so it won't be as quick as it could be, but the room will suit our needs better that a bog standard conservatory so it will be worth the extra fuss.

No reasonable neighbour could be annoyed at you renovating before you move in - obviously this is best done before moving, so it's inevitable and everyone knows that degree of renovation is usually a one-off or at least very rare. I think communication is key here as you've already planned - the only thing I would add is to give a mobile number so they can call you if there are any problems before you move in, and keep them updated. Hope it all goes well!

We'll be living there while the work is going on, and we're doing the work ourselves. We don't have the funds to rent and pay mortgage, much less hire people to do everything which needs to be done. The benefit of us doing it ourselves as far an bother to the neighbours is concerned, is that it will be a few days on, a few days off rather than weeks of constant noise and mess. It will mainly be mess to be honest. I just feel bad the place is going to be like Steptoe's Yard pretty much from the moment we move in and for the weeks to come. I don't want them to think we're a pack of scruff bags with no pride or consideration.