I am a bit upset, just wondering if iabu.

[Stormwhale]

I will preface this with saying I know it is daft and not life changing in any way. Funnily enough yes I do have bigger things to worry about, and I know this is really not the end of the world. I'm just wondering if this would bother anyone else or not at all.

We bought dps wedding ring today. It was second hand as the price of gold is mental now. We have no problem with second hand jewellery at all. It fit perfectly, was just the right style and width etc. Brilliant price. All good.

We got home and looked inside it. It has a woman's name engraved inside. My stomach just dropped and I was gutted to be honest. The jeweller said nothing about it which I think isn't really on, but we obviously didn't look closely enough inside.

How would you feel? Would it bother You? Am i being completely stupid letting it bother me at all?

Take it back the jeweller should have told you I don't think YABU it wouldn't sit right with me

No, not at all. I have no problem with it being second hand, worn before and what it symbolised but I would have a problem with a name engraved. I’m not entirely sure why but when I read that bit I just knew it would bother me too.
Could you take it back?

Can you get it ground out?

I imagine you can get it changed cheaply. Gold is a very soft metal so it should be easy to erase.

I think YAB are a bit U. The woman's name is nothing to do with your DH - it's not like it's an ex! You knew the ring was second hand so you knew it was already associated with another marriage. I would actually like this - I would see it as a symbol of another successful union!

I think it's fine if you don't want to keep it and a jeweller won't charge much to buff it out.

I expect the person you bought it from thought you had seen it if you inspected the ring in the shop.

Yanbu. Jeweller should have mentioned it. However they might be able to smooth it out for you.

Tell them to fix it or give you your money back. I would do it straight away though so they can't accuse you of getting it done and then claiming a refund

I wouldn’t like it and the jewellery shop should have mentioned it, but surely it should be easy enough to remove

Can't you just change your name?

Yanbu. I'm not the fussy type but I could not have that. In the first instance I would try returning it.

It wouldn't 'bother' me as such but i would see about getting the engraving removed, just to make it his ring.

Yes, if I'd bought it I'd have factored in the cost of having the name removed into what I was prepared to pay. The jeweller should have pointed it out to you.

Of course you're not happy with it! Who would be? (Except Bridesmaid )

Take it back, explain, and ask him to grind it off for you.

Take it back and talk to the jeweller. They'll probably just grind it out for you.

Who would be?

Maybe someone who coincidentally had the same name, but no one else I shouldn't think.

My wedding ring is a family heirloom that i need to get resized so I will ask how easily the engraving can be removed.

To the pp who said about it being another successful union, I have to say I feel the opposite. Surely the chances are it was an unsuccessful union, seeing as the wedding ring is being sold on! Absolutely agree though that clearly this woman is nothing to do with dp, it's just the thought of his wedding ring having someone else's name inside. It's so symbolic, it just doesn't sit right.

And sorry, but I don't look like a Lucy, so changing the name is rather out of the question.

Yes it would bother me.. take it back I’m sure they will be able to “sand” the name out of it.

It cost me £5 to have an engraving 'sanded' out of something. Hope this helps.

I wouldn't buy second hand for a wedding. Someone could have sold that ring for their gas bills or for food. The sentimental value attached could be insane. Equally it could have belonged to a man in a violent relationship. Anything.

Gives me chills. Just NOPE.

go back to the shop and get the name taken off. The Jeweller must have noticed this as they would have checked the gold markings. If you prefer then ask for your money back and get another ring. You have to feel good about the ring.

Ugh. It's so noticeable when you know it's there, we just didn't see it in the jewellers. We looked the ring over a few times too!!

It would bother me. I would need it polishing out or replacing.

Romeo, I'm pretty sure none of those things are contagious. I'm not expecting dp to suddenly turn violent because he wears a ring. Well I hope not, or I possibly shouldn't be marrying him!

Sprouty thank you, that is reassuring that it won't be expensive.

The ring just looked so perfect on him and was 100 cheaper than another we had seen. I know why now. I'm pretty pissed off at the jeweller as you are absolutely right that they would have seen it when examining the ring.

We would rather not take it back for a refund as dp loves it. Neither of us are taking it too seriously, mainly making jokes about how he better not run off with a Lucy.

You could get a dog / cat / rat / parrot and call it Lucy! Have the same name engrave in yours, make it a family mystery. Invent a beloved Great Aunt who left you millions and millions that you will inherit the day after you get married...

But getting it ground out is probably a lot easier and cheaper

Tbh it wouldn't bother me either, it means nothing-just take it back to the jewellers & point out they didn't tell you so you're expecting them to remove it.

I work with jewellery. That would be incredibly easy to remove. Just take it back they should do it for free, it's not a big job.