I am a bit upset, just wondering if iabu.

[Stormwhale]

I will preface this with saying I know it is daft and not life changing in any way. Funnily enough yes I do have bigger things to worry about, and I know this is really not the end of the world. I'm just wondering if this would bother anyone else or not at all.

We bought dps wedding ring today. It was second hand as the price of gold is mental now. We have no problem with second hand jewellery at all. It fit perfectly, was just the right style and width etc. Brilliant price. All good.

We got home and looked inside it. It has a woman's name engraved inside. My stomach just dropped and I was gutted to be honest. The jeweller said nothing about it which I think isn't really on, but we obviously didn't look closely enough inside.

How would you feel? Would it bother You? Am i being completely stupid letting it bother me at all?

Ask the jeweller to remove it free of charge.

To be honest, unless Lucy was the name of an ex I’d probably just laugh about it and have it removed

That can be sanded out very easily.

I would look positively on a second hand wedding ring. After all that ring might have come from an unsuccessful union before but it's now got a second chance with you and your DP.

It's not a big deal to sand it out (silversmith here).

The price of precious metals is climbing and climbing, and the premium for 'new' is huge. It's just like cars bought new, the depreciation is huge, and the resale very much lower.

Jewellers often recycle metals anyway so the concept of 'new' may not be quite true anyway! Just think of it as being really, really committed to recycling

Maybe try and sneak in a 'k' as a reminder to him of how lucky he is?

Thanks, I feel better about it now anyway. We will definitely be having it removed, but I'm not letting it get me down. We were just so happy after picking it up, so excited about what it means and it was just a bit tainted is all. But that's silly. It doesn't take anything away from what is happening, all the exciting things we have coming up and what it means long term for us.

It's funny how so much can be tied up in one piece of jewellery.

Of course your not bring unreasonable . Who would want a random woman's name on a wedding ring. Take it back or have the name removed.

Maybe try and sneak in a 'k' as a reminder to him of how lucky he is? wink

I'm going with this suggestion!

YANBU. I can totally imagine how you feel. Jeweller has pulled a fast one.

Nothing wrong with 2nd hand. All 3 of my rings are 2nd hand cause we couldn't afford platinum brand new. Doesn't make them any less sentimal

The jeweller was def U for not mentioning it.
But it was clearly the right ring for your dps - right size, width and price - and now it gets a whole new happy life, so you've saved it!

(I don't anthropomorphrise all inanimate objects honest)

Get a K engraved in it / remind DP he is on a day basis

Abhhhh! Went and out kettle on and didn't refresh before I posted.

But great minds ^

Hmm, depends, ‘second hand’ or ‘antique’? And by that I mean, does the jeweller know then provenance? An unhappy/unsuccessful union from a few years ago, yes I get why that might be a bit, Er, undesirable. But an ‘antique’ or vintage ring from a long and happy marriage, I wouldn’t mind at all and in fact would like that it had a happy history. The jeweller should have pointed it out though.

My own brand new wedding ring was mis-engraved.

The shop apologised and it was re-done. They shortened the year to 2 numbers rather than the 4 I wanted. You can't tell.

Take it back, have them sort it for you.

Hmm, I have to say, if you're looking at second-hand wedding rings, surely you sort of have to expect that they come with history, and that they'd likely be engraved. It's highly likely.

I don't think the jeweller is particularly at fault here - he gave you the ring to examine and look it, you did that, and were happy with it.

I know this is the sort of comment that is really unhelpful after the event - sorry (honestly, not sarcastically!) - but this would be just the sort of thing a second-hand ring buyer should be looking for.

Having said all that - I do think removing it will be simple and inexpensive.

I guess what I'm saying is, if/when you take it back to the jewellers, he's going to look at you and wonder if you're blind.

My mum and Dad sold their wedding rings to buy Christmas presents for us.
I like to imagine that the couple who bought them will go on to have a solid 50 year marriage like mine have so far.
We bought my parents, replacement wedding rings recently. They were also second hand.
We bought second hand wedding rings too.
Congratulations, love and luck to you both.

While I get the initial upset you are taking it very well. I hope it's easy to remove as several PP more in the know than me seem to think it is. My engagement ring is second hand/antique and I love it. It's exactly my taste and perfect for me whereas new modern ones might not have been. My wedding ring was new as I had to have one made to fit round the enagament ring. Neither has more sentimental value than the other. Once 'Lucy' is removed it will just be your DH's ring which you marry him with. This will soon be a funny story and nothing more. I wish you a long and happy marriage.

The second hand ring wouldn’t bother me - the name on it would.

Yeah get rid of the engraving but it wouldn't bother me one jot that they're second hand. Congratulations OP

Just need to know if I am being unreasonable here.
Sold one of DD dress on a Facebook selling site.
Gave pictures of product, size and where it was bought from in the description. Even answered questions from buyer.
She decided to go ahead and purchase.

She's received it and is now saying that the dress is too small for her daughter and I should have told her it was small and not true to size! So she wants a refund.

I was initially going to refund her, but then she sent some abusive messages. So I told her no refund! AIBU?

@twomadefour You need to start a new thread.

You are not being unreasonable. I can imagine it would bother me too. The jeweler should have told you.

It's a nice ring. Just sand it out

Nothing to be upset about just take it back