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AIBU?

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Original poster

Have just witnessed the most unreasonable thing!

63 replies

Bridesmaidinchief · 12/05/2018 14:38

I was just at my best friend's final dress fitting and there was another girl in the bridal shop having her first fitting and her family were seeing the dress for the first time.

She came out of the changing room to total silence and not one of the three people she had brought with her had a nice word to say. One (her mum I think) just said 'oh you'll have to do something about the cleavage, it's too much' and then one of the younger ones said 'I didn't think you would go for lace'. The third one didn't say anything but just shared a look with the other.

I wanted to cry for her. The shoo assistant did SUCH a good job of immediately making a big fuss of the bride and telling her she looked beautiful but you could tell she was upset. The others didn't say a single nice thing the whole time she had it on.

Can you believe they couldn't just suck up their opinions and be nice for one minute?! It's not like they can change anything now, she's stuck with this dress! I was really shocked tbh.

Some people really are burdened with hideous families.

OP posts:
VanillaSugar · 12/05/2018 15:08

Am I seeing things or is there a unicorn looking up her wotsits. ??

ILikeMyChickenFried · 12/05/2018 15:12

YANBU and in the real world everyone would agree with you.

SprayingMonsters · 12/05/2018 15:13

VanillaSugar

I actually think those two dresses are cute 😍😊

Bluntness100 · 12/05/2018 15:13

Agree that doesn't sound very nice at all. Surprised anyone would think it ok.

I think I'd tell my daughter she looked beautiful what ever the dress, because to my eyes she would.

HellenaHandbasket · 12/05/2018 15:14

I hear you, I agree.

burnoutbabe · 12/05/2018 15:19

surely the fitting time IS the time to say "your cleavage is too out there, how can we sort that" - particularly if that WASN'T an issue when first tried the dress on (ie its too tight now or not fitted enough)

Surely the time for saying its beautiful was when it was bought, the fitting time is the time to be constructively critical?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/05/2018 15:21

"Ooh you'll have to do something about the cleavage, it's too much".

Shock
Original poster
Bridesmaidinchief · 12/05/2018 15:25

@vanillasugar those are really something!!

It was a perfectly nice dress imo - a mermaid shape, all over lace with a sweetheart neckline and some sequins but not OTT sparkly. It was a bit low over the bust but only because it was a bit big and slipping down!

@burnoutbabe I would agree but that wasn't the tone it was said in - if she'd made that comment at some point while saying how lovely it was it would have been fine, but the tone was really pointed and it was the only comment she had. It was like she was determined to find the fault iyswim! It was also the first time any of them had seen it (I know because my best friend also bought her dress without anyone else seeing and she and the other bride were chatting about it while they waited to be brought in for their appointments)

OP posts:
PositivelyPERF · 12/05/2018 15:25

How the hell would you not feel like a pervert, at that wedding ILostItInTheEarlyNineties? Every body would just be either staring at her bobs the whole night or looking over her shoulder. 😲

Original poster
Bridesmaidinchief · 12/05/2018 15:25

@ILostItInTheEarlyNineties oh wow!!! That is a look!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bridesmaidinchief · 12/05/2018 15:29

It looked a bit like this but the bottom of the skirt wasn't as full and it had shimmery sequins. Fairy unobjectionable imo! Even if it wasn't what her family would choose personally I couldn't understand why they were so put off by it!

Have just witnessed the most unreasonable thing!
OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/05/2018 15:31

Bloody sad for the poor girl - glad the shop lady tried to make her feel better, but I doubt it really worked.
Some families are just utter bastards and have no kindness in them at all. :(

Dieu · 12/05/2018 15:31

No justifying this, OP. YANBU.

Loandbeholdagain · 12/05/2018 15:35

That’s so sad.

PeapodBurgundy · 12/05/2018 15:37

Even if she looked a mess, she's already bought it. You tell her she looks beautiful! I'd be tactfully honest pre-purchase, but not after.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/05/2018 15:43

I bet you wish you'd said something now OP especially as you thought she looked beautiful. It probably would have meant a lot to her.

Yes that's me arriving at the church. The poor vicar didn't know where to look, I think he was admiring my necklace.
Luckily I super glued my nipples to the dress to avoid falling out entirely walking down the aisle. Barry's still paying off my boobs on his credit card so I wanted to make sure he got his money's worth.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/05/2018 15:44

Mean. I think I would have gone over and gushed.

HeyToTheHo · 12/05/2018 15:44

Haven't RTFT and this is outing ...

My mum came to see the dress I had bought and had a major meltdown in the bridal studio - tears and screaming included - over how it wouldn't suit me, 'did nothing for me', I would look terrible on my wedding day and I was making a huge mistake.

The problem: it was a simple, drapey style dress and not the meringue she wanted for me.

I was humiliated by her bahavoiur and completely sideswiped. Thank god my best friend was there - she was shocked and couldn't believe it.

'D'M didn't talk to me for 6 months over it.

I ended up buying a different dress (not a meringue though) and she didn't realise until the night before. She had a cats bum mouth through the whole day.

I still have the original dress in my loft.

Can't remember which pp said it, but yes, some people have really shit families.

MyKingdomForACaramel · 12/05/2018 15:47

Awful! I remember when I was wedding dress shopping seeing a girl who had about six with her - she was just shopping but honestly her friends or family with her were awful - making negative comments on dresses that looked nice - pushing her towards ones that really didn’t flatter her figure etc. I had my Mum and a bridesmaid with me and we all noticed.

ScipioAfricanus · 12/05/2018 15:47

Horrid! My mum was just as bad though the other way saying the first dress I tried on was perfect because she didn’t want to have to look at any more! She’s not a girly woman but I think she could have sucked up more than three dresses worth my sake! (Not actually ‘just as bad’, just the same thing of not being able to say the right thing)

restingbemusedface · 12/05/2018 15:49

Maybe the bride is a dickhead and a bridezilla and they didn’t want to be there?

seven201 · 12/05/2018 15:50

What fuckers. They should have said some lovely things. She's already bought it! Even if you honestly don't like a dress there's always something you can pick out to compliment.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/05/2018 15:53

Hey God that's shocking. Why on earth did your mum think she could be so controlling and make it all about her? The Big Scene in the shop too! I think I would have died of embarrassment.

Belindabauer · 12/05/2018 15:53

I once worked with a woman who was pregnant on her wedding day.
Even though you couldn't tell, her mother made her wear a pink sash around her waist because she wasn't fit to wear totally white.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/05/2018 15:54

Wow some of these stories are awful. Just why? That dress is beautiful and I think a lot of women would look good in it. Did it look nice on her or didn’t you notice?

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