To find this quite bad taste?

[Pimmsoclockpls]

Chatting with young work colleague about property (we are both mid 20s, live in London) and mentioned that I'd be looking to buy in a few months. I'm in a good job but would be receiving significant financial help from my parents so obviously very lucky.

Colleague's grandfather sadly recently passed away (was in 70s) and her grandmother is doing very well health-wise and is younger, perhaps early 70s. FWIW my parents are actually late 60s/early 70s but in incredible health and look like theyre in their 50s - we all hope they have a good 20/30 years left and I see no reason why not.

Anyway, I digress, colleague basically said she was hoping to buy in the next few years, essentially she is waiting for her grandma to do in order to be able to! She is close to her grandma but said quite bluntly, while it is sad, it'll happen one day and will enable her to buy property. She seemed to be fairly certain it was going to happen in the near future which shocked me as my parents are similarly aged and I certainly don't see it as likely they will die anytime soon! God forbid.

Aibu to hope the grandma lives to a ripe old age???

Meh. No I wouldn't be offended. People have different attitudes to death.
And it's a fact of life. Our parents & GPs have benefitted hugely from a rising housing market so it seems fair that some of that benefit is passed on.

You just have to hope she hasn't expressed that out loud to any family members, not least her grandma!

It’s bad tasts to tell others, but on the general thought of it I suppose it depends on the dynamic of their relationship, my father tells me quite frequently that I’ll have his money when he pops his clogs so I can buy a nice house!

Well she might have a long wait! My MIL has just died, aged 94!

i get on with her so well but she often makes slightly grabby money comments... e.g. a wealthy older relative died and she jokily mentioned, oh well I might be able to inherit their house!

Can she even be sure she will benefit financially?

DH and I have both lost all our grandparents and both our mothers. He inherited a total of £4K and I inherited £300 (that’s hundred not thousand), certainly not life changing!

Yes, it’s quite obviously in bad taste!!!!!!!!!!!!

Massive assumption too. Hopefully her grandma will have changed her will and left it to a cats home !

Yes it’s bad taste! It probably upset you more than she thought because of your parents being a bit older. But still not something you ought to voice to others even if you have to think it!

It is bad taste. And as a matter of fact, no one is entitled to get an inheritance from family. Every generation has had different issues. House buying is an issue for this generation. 40 years ago yes we were able to buy a house but could do sod all else. No foreign travel, few mothers able to work, no maternity pay, no childcare, divorce was difficult. A patriarchal society, women's opportunities much less. No sharing of household jobs or childcare. Many husbands wanted a 50's wife. It is so so easy to moan about life today without realising quite how much better it has got in so many ways. Journalists love to tell you the Baby Boomers had it all, I can tell you we did not. Education did not encourage girls so many of us did not go to university and jobs were viewed as preparation for motherhood. When you got pregnant you left your job. My 4 children have had far more support than I ever had. I am happy to be able to help them get established . It is not the parents fault first time mortgages are so difficult. Mnay older people will need funds from their home to finance nursing home care

My grandmother left a surprisingly large sum of money (as she wasn’t rich) to her children and nothing to her grandchildren (except some boys of jewellery - she’d passed on jewellery and some other bits mostly before she died). It may be that the colleague doesn’t get as much as she’s counting on but maybe she has her reasons?!

I wouldn't get worked up about it, consider yourself lucky your parents are helping you out, otherwise you'll not be able to buy either.

Personally I would find it in bad taste, but it is also possible that her grandparents often say to her about her future inheritance and what she will be able to do with it, so it may not be that she is waiting for them to die like a vulture, but meaning that she is waiting until they die to be able to buy a house because that is when she will be able to afford to do it.

Did she say this after you told her about your parents helping you to buy a property? If so, she may have been irritated about your perceived boasting and was just trying to point out that she might be in a similar boat.

I detect a certain tone of smug one-upmanship from your op, so I'm just wondering whether she might have, too

Wow you think I'm being smug? that's pretty uncalled for

in fact i have never mentioned this to anyone apart from on this one occasion. she said to me that she was thinking of buying, i confided that i would be also in a few months thanks to my parents but that i dont know a lot about it yet - she then said she was waiting for her grandma to essentially die so she didnt know when

also what is the oneupmanship?

Of course it's in bad taste. But so is your bragging about your financial good fortune. Did the colleague really need to know?

I agree with csperberries she might think you are being unreasonable, the annoying colleague at work bragging about buying a house in London when she has little chance.

It's generally a bad idea to talk about your finances with friends or colleagues, except in very general terms.

I'd probably use the old-fashioned term 'vulgar' to describe someone's bragging about their inheritance, or financial gifts from other family members.

wow ok, mine was very general. so as not to drip feed, i would actually say we are good friend which is why this has floored me. get on with her very well. have known each other about two year and talk about everything. it was only in response to her comment about buying that i said - very generally - oh im hoping to do similar down the line, i dont know how but my parents may be able to help with a deposit. that was it!

I would have replied that my GM is still alive at 96 and sold her home so has significant rent/living expenses. Her GM may need nursing care or long term support in older age - she shouldn't be so sure!

You've gone from receiving significant financial help, to maybe getting some help, but you're not actually sure

In cases where family members are hoping to have a share of a relative's estate once they die, it always brings a smile when you hear that the bulk of the estate has been left to charity or to a friend instead.

You’re being judgey.

Iam right back at you. on an anonymous forum, ill admit that yes it is significant financial help. to my colleague, i obviously toned it down. HTH