To be annoyed with DH about my lie in?

[HopefullyAnonymous]

I work shifts, including some very late (or rather early am!) finishes. Within reason if these shifts fall on a weekday I still do the morning school run to save on childcare. If they fall on a weekend I appreciate a lie in until say 11, particularly if I’m on the same shift that day.

Last night I was held on 3 hours after I should have finished, meaning it was after 4.30am when I got to bed. DH knows this’ll I always text to let him know when I’m leaving work (phone on silent so this doesn’t actually wake him). This morning he brought me a coffee at 7.15 when the kids woke. I sent him away. He popped in at 8 to check on me. I sent him away. At half 9 he came in to tell me some pointless info that really could have waited and at 10 he decided to have a shower in the en suite when he could have used the bathroom. He now can’t understand why I’m grumpy. He does this on a semi regular basis because apparently he gets bored sometimes and he won’t see much of me before I have to go back to work. The second part is true, but I do try to make up for this on my days off. AIBU to expect the occasional weekend lie in?!

Hopefully he's got the message then
Agree you shld be more assertive when he wakes you up. It's not ok.

Twatish behaviour.

If he genuinely can’t see what a cunt he’s being then fine for you to start waking him up when you get in late.

I work shifts and would go utterly mad at this. If you're anything like me it's not the best quality sleep anyway when you're trying to sleep through the morning so even more important that you're not disturbed.

I do like the idea of waking him up when you get in but it won't have the same effect as it does on you - he's sleeping at a normal time and will find it much easier to get back to sleep. Still better than nothing though.

I've had to spell out the issues around shift work to my nearest and dearest, that they're not lie ins and that I'm not being unreasonable not to do a full day of decorating, say, before my first late shift. That was my mum who suggested that and she did take the point when I asked her if she'd ever done 8 hours of decorating before or after work but it gets tiring having to explain.

I feel for you OK I spent along time with exdh writing this off as sweet bumbly didn't know what he was doing type thing....then the marriage ended met my DP who instantly recognised that I had sleep issues

I remember the first time he got up because I was tired with the DC and kept them entertained took them to the park....shoveled cereal into their faces whilst preventing them trying to consume the tube of toothpaste...all without disturbing me

When I thanked him he looked at me oddly and said " huh that's ridiculous you were tired I love you I wanted you to rest "

It was an eye opener ...please say something to your dh it's not sweet or bumbly or anything like that it's selfish....if you care for someone you won't want them ill or sleep deprived if you can help

Good update OP!

Good update.

From now on that's the deal!

He wakes you without good reason = you wake him at 4.30 am for a chat to 'decompress' after your shift :)