to ask you how often you and your DP argue

[beclev24]

Just that really.
Especially interested to hear from people who feel overall that they have reasonable/ good relationships. My friend has a great relationship with her DH but they argue often and think this is normal,. My DH and I are both very conflict averse and pretty much never argue (not saying our relationship is any better than theirs btw- we just have a different style.) . wondering which is more typical.

Not sure. Almost never argued with husband in 9yrs it was very 'easy' but didnt last. Now argue with DP near constantly but it feels more normal and good that he stands up to me and expresses his opinion! I thought i got on with husband but was he just a yes man? Hmm....

Probably a few times a year or so. Not often. We don't tend to let things simmer though.

What do you mean by argue? We have a lot of different opinions but it’s very rare we shout them at each other.

We have been together coming up for 20 years and honestly have never argued. We are both very laid back, generally see eye to eye on most things and those we don’t we seem to naturally agree to disagree.

We both annoy each other for sure sometimes, but it never seems to manifest itself in to a verbal argument.

I'd say a few times a year. We do see eye to eye on a lot of things, when we do argue it normally lasts a few hours, but not days. We either agree to disagree or come up with a solution. I suppose we both see the relationship and love we have for one another more important than the argument, or at least I do.

Loads! About little things. But we've always been a bit stormy cos both passionate people. Arguments never last, we can't stand being out of favour and love each other very much. Married 6 yrs

OH and I don't argue much.
We sometimes have robust exchanges over differences of opinion, but rarely last more than a minute or two.

It depends. If you asked me this question a couple of years ago when my kids were babies, I'd say all the time. Now, not so much.

Every one is different, there's no right or wrong I guess. I'd consider it an issue if we were constantly having the same arguments over the same things without being able to reach a resolution.

Been together 24 yrs blimey feel old and I think we've had one full blown argument. We talk about stuff a LOT and it is rare for us not to be able to compromise. We have a lot of fun together too.

Never I rant. He rolls his eyes and says "got that off your chest? good". He doesn't bite at all. I've never seen him get into conflict with anyone in the 26 years I've known him.

I think the last argument we had was in January and even that was a proper one. We're both pretty reasonable and a lot of our thinking runs along the same lines so it just works

It’s so hard to draw any conclusions from questions like this because

A) seemingly perfect marriages don’t last
b) seemingly perfect marriages do last
C) some turbulent marriages don’t last
D) some turbulent marriages do last

Every person in every marriage is unique and will tolerate different things.

That being said, my DH and I bicker every couple of days I’d say

Probably once a week or fortnight but a lot of that is stress and tiredness of young children. They’re generally short lived though and more irritable snapping.
When we first lived together we argued about the same amount but they would involve shouting and continue into the next day so we’ve definitely calmed down and learnt to let things go or let each other have space.
Although I never argue with other people I find that I have to express my frustration to my DH otherwise it builds up and comes out in a huge argument

Very infrequently. I bite my tongue a lot and avoid conflict where possible. I grew up in a house where my mum screamed at my dad every day and it made me a very anxious child. If it's unimportant, which most of these things are, I just let it go.

Once or twice a month - mostly my fault because I resent him about a particular issue. I can be unable to talk or be nice to him for 2 to 3 days. I try very hard at letting things go because when things are good, they are really good, we love each other. I wish I was different at dealing with my resentment.

We haven't argued (been together 8 years), doesn't mean we don't say a few choice words to each other on occasion though... I think its personalities as much as anything. I can't really imagine what we would argue about though, although that's not to say we agree on everything by any means. What sort of things do people argue about?

Together about 10 years, not sure we've ever really argued. Maybe once or twice over that time.

We're like you op, neither of us is looking to argue so we have to get pretty anxious to do so, but even then the other one is always cool headed enough to help the other communicate. For example, I can be a worrier on the road. If I overreact and startle oh he might get into a flap, but I can see that I triggered him and talk him down within seconds. We make each other laugh, often proper belly laughs, near daily.

Bicker - few times a month, row - quite rare but does happen - almost always about lack of sleep, house work .... that's it really lol

I want to add these arguments are always triggered by stress, anxiety or the time of the month coming

Rarely to be honest. We will have a disagreement over an issue once in a blue moon but it may last a few minutes.....the kids may then step in (they tend to!) or we’ll just agree to disagree which is also fine. We’ve learned to ‘go to bed on an argument’ as to be honest; we’re both very strong willed (usually in the same direction) so we’d never get to bed if we didn’t!

Really does depend on argue bicker or disagreements few times a month I find it much healthier to air grievances and annoyances and these don’t tend to last long and we move on. I don’t get the not having these everyone does this to annoy surely it’s best to air them

Full proper arguments probably about once a year at most

We go through periods of arguing every few months. Shouty arguements are rare in our house, we do tend to bicker though.
We have young children and stressful jobs and are often tired so this doesn’t help.
My partner is quite highly strung although is becoming less so as he gets older, so often our arguements stem from him being sensitive!

We don’t really. Maybe every 5 years or so we’ll have a big argument and then nothing in between, we’re 99% on the same page and see eye to eye. Squabbling sounds so draining. I say every 5 years because we’ve been together 10 and I can only think of 2 arguments.