to ask you how often you and your DP argue

[beclev24]

Just that really.
Especially interested to hear from people who feel overall that they have reasonable/ good relationships. My friend has a great relationship with her DH but they argue often and think this is normal,. My DH and I are both very conflict averse and pretty much never argue (not saying our relationship is any better than theirs btw- we just have a different style.) . wondering which is more typical.

dudsville I think we're pretty similar. It would be rare indeed for us both to be wound up enough for an argument to occur. One of us might be (particularly post-baby aka post-sleep) but the other can usually calm them down pretty swiftly.

Rarely - hopefully not jinxing it by saying that! Both DP and I dislike conflict, so it doesn’t happen a lot. Because neither of us is prone to flying off the handle I think we do generally discuss things before they reach a flash point. We are both quite laid back in general too.

Pretty much never, but can be snappy due to being tired about once a week (tends to be one of us not both at the same time)

Bicker constantly. Full blown probably once or twice a year.

Our relationship is good, we have been together (with one short break 3 years ago) for 10 years. We argue maybe once every 6 months. Even then, at worst it will be a few cross words then we walk away to have a think. Usually one of us will realise we have been a bit out of order and seek the other one out to apologise and explain our feelings in a better way.

It was not always like this though. In the early days we fought like cat and dog, and in the lead up to the break we were not in a good place. Being apart for that time changed everything though, and so has our age. We are heading towards 30 now, and have both matured massively.

We are getting married in July, and I would not be even considering it if we were arguing frequently. I would also not be happy about dd being exposed to constant arguments, it just isn't fair on children.

Almost never and when we do it’s usually because I’m hungry or due on and snappy, I apologise quickly as I’m aware I’m being unreasonable. Both of us have been married several times before, and had shitty relationships that haven’t worked, and as a result we talk ALL the time, so things never really escalate to an argument. We’re also very similar and my dp is my best friend and very selfless (helps a lot) but not a walk over.

Never. We bicker over silly things but both never take offence. I honestly can't remember the last time we had an argument and though I'm sure we probably have at some point, I can't remember what an argument would have been over.

Never. The odd bit of bickering but neither of us can be bothered to argue. Together nine years. Now with my first husband it was constant rows and plates being thrown and it was horrible!

Very rarely, not even once a year.

Been together 15 years and married 7.

Barely ever. Maybe once or twice a year if that. We do talk about things though and it's not like we agree on everything but we just talk it out rather than argue or get upset.

Ex and I argued at least twice a week and it was utterly miserable. I never felt sure as to whether a comment would be taken in a good way or not and I hated arguing that often - it made me anxious and moody.

I grew up in a household with very little arguing and I wouldn't want my children around parents who argued on a regular basis.

We never bicker or have rows and that is thankfully still the case even with a 1 year old. We talk everything through without shouting and have had a few teary conversations due to stress or lack of sleep.

We have some days when we bicker a lot, but nothing serious and it happens only when we're both in weird moods which isn't often at all. We have a shouty argument very rarely, maybe once or twice a year. That's something that has changed for the better since having children, neither of us want to model that kind of behaviour/ relationship to them. They hear us having respectful disagreements though and always try to find a compromise. I would definitely say we're happy, yes. It's taken us 16 years to get here though and we haven't always communicated this well.

Been together 12 years and I could count the arguments on one hand.

We just get on and have a very similar outlook on life. DH is also very laid back. Me less so.

Three proper relationships before DH involved more arguing. One was very turbulent but that partner was very childish. Another was also fairly turbulent but that partner was a liar and a cheat.

We could argue constantly. We are polar opposites and, in many ways, completely incompatible. Our core values are the same but we have completely different outlooks on many aspects of life. He is flighty and in constant need of stimulation, takes huge risks without thinking them through and behaves like a kid with finances. I'm more grounded, I look at the big picture instead of what I want right now. I tend to put others first so can end up being a bit of a doormat. You might think that we should compliment each other, but in reality, there are times he takes advantage of my people pleasing nature and I struggle to unclench enough to be fun. Despite this, we love each other passionately. Or we do sometimes, then at other times we want to kill each other. In the 16 years weve been togather, we've learned how to air our issues in a way that doesn't lead to world war 3. We've learned to compromise and we had counciling which helped us to learn how to talk to each other. We have to work at it, but when things are good they are wonderful. We are getting better at not letting things get bad either. I'd say once a year we have a screaming 'it's over' type row. In the early years, that was a monthly argument. We've worked hard and continue to work hard to ensure our survival as a couple. Not your Hollywood fairytale but it works, most of the time.

DH is Italian so we regularly have short sharp loud arguments but they're disagreements that sound far more serious than they are.

However culturally that's normal for him and I quickly appropriated the Italian way of disagreeing.

Major fights are very rare.

Maybe once a month DH will do something minor which annoys me and I will tell him about it in an annoyed way, and he will understand and the matter resolves instantly. He's super laid back. Proper arguments? We've only ever had two, and those were a year apart and to do with stress of 1) wedding planning and 2) pregnancy. We naturally communicate very openly/have a good sense of humour and I think this helps to reduce arguments/Issues.

Almost never. If one has done something to upset the other we'll raise it and usually it's resolved right away without argument.

The only occasion I can recall was years ago when we'd not long started living together and I was very frustrated that he was so bad at replying to texts (necessary ones!) and then one night instead of coming home he went to the pub but didn't text to let me know and then didn't get home til 11. I totally blew up and we had a proper argument but he was very apologetic and he really worked hard to sort the texting thing after that.

We're both just very easygoing people I think. It helps that he's totally reasonable and unflappable - hard to argue with someone as calm and reasonable as him! I'm sure I drive him mad constantly and he just doesn't say