We should ask our babies consent to change their nappies from birth

[MrsGjee]

www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/im-going-change-your-nappy-12511101
Okay I'm probably what most MNers would consider a snowflake but this is about 10 steps over the line of ridiculous!
It's not even a question, this woman is being unreasonable.
Just thought I'd share so as others can experience the shock/disbelief I am rn!

Why is a sexuality ‘expert’ talking about nappy changing.

Creepy as fuck! If she was a man she would probably be investigated.

However she’s probably just got s book to sell. Best ignored really

Haha. I remember before I had any children getting a lift with a work colleague. I had to sit in the back with his two year old and I thought I’d be all kind and right-on so I asked her ‘Can I come and sit next to you today?’ Her answer was ‘NO!’ Then I didn’t know what to do and kind of hovered next to the car. He sighed ‘just get in ’.

I learnt a lesson that day - never give a toddler an option if you can’t accept one of the outcomes. You can be gentle, respectful with physical boundaries (eg not forcing tickling/kissing) and try and make nappy changing a calm and happy time but asking for consent will not end well for anyone.

This is pretty standard with baby massage classes tbh. It is just about establishing the habit of question/response.

Nappy change, adult decided.

Healthy foods adult decided

Health care treatment adult decided

Bed time. Adult decided

Boundaries adult decide

Get the picture

You don’t need to pay for baby massage classes to communicate with your baby. That’s totally bog standard normal parenting. It wasn’t invented by experts. Parents have talked to their babies/children since we could talk.

This is nuts! Nappy changes are none negotiable! I chat to my lo as I do, even talk about changing him but I don't ask him things he doesn't have a choice in, it's not fair on him and it would just make my life more difficult if he said no!

I can sort of see what she's saying, although the conclusions are wrong... I know when my daughter was little and had nappy rash, I felt awful about having to use my strength to hold her down while I cleaned her up and put cream on. I did worry about what message she would take from that action. However, I did know that it still needed to be done! In the end, I think I assuaged my conscience by trying to explain why I had to do it in a soothing way, and trying to sit her in a cool bath more often instead!

Ugh this reminds me of when the HV came out to do baby massage and I had to ask my couple of months old baby for permission to massage her and then thank her afterwards.

Ive always narrated/talked to my dc "would you like a bath" "ooh are you hungry" "are you pointing at your toy" "do you need your nappy changed" but just because that's my instincts to talk to my babies. So I think she's right but for the wrong (ridiculous) reasons.

Ooh I have an opinion on this! It's not about nappy changes really. It's about whether we have the right to imprison their genital in a nappy in the first place. Is that right, or should we as parents just clean up their shitty babygros?

In case you don't realise I'm being sarcastic.... I am.... FFS. How do you get consent from a non verbal, non understanding baby???

Well somehow I am not totally surprised. Slightly different scenario and different end involved but on a bus yesterday and there was a mum with a child in a buggy. Buggy was facing window so couldn't see age of child but they were having a conversation so guessing 2-3.

Mum can I wipe your face
Child no
Mum but you have jam all over it
Child don't care
Mum it might get sore
Child don't care
Mum Please let me wipe your face
Child no
Mum ok then
Mum puts wet wipes away.

"Bonkers. The world has gone bonkers."

I may be a suspicious old cow, but I wouldn't be totally surprised to find that this so-called sexuality expert is some random they've dug up from ... oh yes, it says ... it was twitter... and just slipped a few hundred to get her to say exactly what they need to elicit outrage about... oh, yes, it was about consent.

Because this is so obviously ludicrous and nobody is going to notice that she's just a random nobody (what kind of a title is "sexuality expert"?) if she gives them an excuse to feel annoyed about the idea of consent at a time when people are talking more about consent than a lot of other people want to hear. Strawman, strawman, strawman.

I told you I'm a suspicious old cow.

Utterly ridiculous. 2 year old DD is going through a phase of not wanting her nappy changed. I’m big on giving choices, explaining why we do things etc, but ultimately anything to do with hygiene, safety, being socially acceptable (wearing clothes) and health I make the decisions because I’m her parent. Occasionally it does just have to be a case of “I’m sorry you don’t want to do x, but we have to.”

So called experts again belittling and undermining parents for profit.

It was ever so. Nothing new. Silly cow

Sweeney poor kid. Will have a hell of a shock come school time.

Mind I suppose his parents will counter the teacher basically telling them their kid is a wild undisciplined pain in the arse with ‘he’s s free spirit’

The problem with this "so-called experts belittling parents" trope is that the strawmen that are being hung out have nothing to do with real expertise: you know, people who have studied whatever subject they happen to work with and have lots of stats to back up their assertion. They are just random loonies who are used to give actual experts a bad name.

There is a dangerous hostility towards expertise in all areas of public life at the moment: medicine, economics, politics etc.

The world is slowly going barking mad.🤤
No, make that "fast going fucking mad".
There.

@Ohmydayslove free spirit

I was pretty shocked tbh, dirt ok I wouldn't be happy but could maybe live with , sticky jam though is disgusting. It will get sore and presumably attract any flying insects. I get kids can be strong willed, my daughter always kicked her shoes off and I got so fed up of putting them on I just used to put them under the buggy and leave her bare foot, but would never have let her get away with having food all round her face.

And I stand over my 8 year old until he gets in the shower sometimes and my 6 year old complains that I force him to clean his teeth twice a day. At what age do they have the decision making capacity around their own bodies for personal hygiene and health?

None of mine would have ever been clean. I generally had to hold them down, and perfected the leg-over-body pin which keeps hands free.

TBH though, changing a nappy of a protesting child did make me think of child abuse. Mine would often scream and fight so much it would be heart wrenching (and draining, I had three in nappies at the same time). But imagine to hurt a child for some kind of pleasure? Horrible horrible.

I never gave my children a choice unless they had one; so nappy changing non-negotiable, but they could choose to have a biscuit, or not.

I once went to a baby massage class where the teacher made me ask my 3 week old for permission to touch her. I just looked at her like she was bat shit and never went back again.

Sorry; just RTFT and seems the baby massage thing is pretty common! Maybe we all had the same bonkers teacher

Ha! Wait until they’re 11 and try getting consent to get their tablet off them. Never gonna happen.