to ask how you deal with anger and rage?

[cjt110]

Today, for whatever reason, I've been an absolute cunt.

And of late, I've been an arsehole to people. Snapping, biting back. Making shit comments to people ...Eg. Colleague tells me and another colleague he is soon be be a GF. Later on, the same conversation occurs, almost word for word. I looked up from my pc and said "Am I getting deja vu because I'm sure you told colleague earlier" Turns out it was not the same colleague he had told when telling me.

Another example, my mum tells me a classmate's son in law committed suicide recently and as such he wouldnt be attending a meal she was going to. I said "Oh well, not a lot you can do then"

I'm becoming very impatient with people. Find myself constantly saying or thinking "Fucking hurry up!"

I'm short tempered with friends and family.

And I hate it.

Can anyone tell me how they've managed to deal with similar situations?

Look up the general aggression model, work through it with examples of when you've been off hand or aggressive to people, it'll help you analyse where your aggression comes from, without being aware of that you'll find it very difficult to change the behaviour. You might find doing this with a professional is helpful at least at first. It's also worth looking at thinking biases, rules and so on that you have internally and your emotional and thought response when day to day life challenges these

Agree, Lottapianos. Many women don't fell right unless they are friendly, helpful and submissive, it's a cultural thing. I was very friendly, helpful and submissive until I literally ran out in my 30s! Then I got really angry. Now I have recognised my anger as hurt, hurt that no one ever seemed to be friendly and helpful to me in return. I give less now, and if I do give, I remind myself that I should not make myself unhappy by feeling resentful and bitter if I get nothing in return.

Good work misscph1973. Put your own oxygen mask on first as the saying goes. My anger stems from hurt and sadness too. I think when you're carrying that much hurt, it's very important to be aware of your needs and stand up for yourself when necessary. It gets much easier with practice I find!

I took up Tae Kwon Do last year at the age of 45 and now I get to kick people in the head. I find it really helps.

Sorry just caught up with the latest posts. Today it's been ok. I've been a bit agitated but less cunt-ish.

I have the weekend ahead with DH and DS. No plans. This in itself stresses me as I just end up at home, DS playing DH on his pc and I'm bored as fuck and then thoughts spiral.

Shout Ian Dury songs.

Underactive thyroid can also cause real irritability. My now departed DF took medication for his, and you could tell when his dose needed changing because he got very rude to shop assistants. (In the UK we're also excessively cautious about prescribing the medication). Also worth saying that for every hour of alcohol-induced relaxation you have, you pay back about four of feeling ratty and tired and wiped out. Booze wipes out your serotonins, and doesn't mix that well with antidepressants.

Apologies if you know this already - teaching grandmothers and all that.

Honestly it sounds like you need a break. complete time away and to yourself. When i never used to get that (when kids were very young and DH travelled all the time) i felt as you do now.
To cope then i got Fluoxetene and had CBT. and essentially just held on until kids were in school and i could breathe. xxx

if i get those feelings now i mutter those words to myself. try doing the shouting in your head!

Im counting down to the boy going to school. I work full time at present but have arranged come August, I will be going down to 4 days instead. So I will have a day to myself once a week. Not responsible to or for anyone.

DH and I go away in 4 weeks for a holiday. DS is going away with my parents that same week. So I know I can switch off.

But the little fucker in my head is giving me fears and doubts. When I was in hospital last week and week before, I couldnt even speak to DS on the phone without him getting upset because he couldnt understand where I was and why he couldnt stay at hospital with me. Quite why I have no idea. he is a very confident little dude and stays with my parents regularly and we have been away for a week without him before whilst he had a week with GPs...

DH and I have decided to cut out the booze for the month leading up to our holiday so we shall see if that effects my mood.

I don't have it to your extent but I can be quite snappy and easily irritated. Running helps.

For example yesterday I got home from work and for some reason just really annoyed with DP (little things like he didn't put DD's socks in her drawer), went out for a 20 min run to clear my head and came back much more calm and composed (obviously apologised to DP for being a bitch)

Shout Ian Dury songs.'

Especially Plaistow Patricia

Two-year ago I felt the same, I think it was a combination or stress, hormones, depression and anxiety. I'm much better after citalopram this past year, having hrt as I had a hysterectomy, some cbt and being kinder to myself. I thought had nothing serious going on compared to some people I knew but as my cbt person said after breaking it all down I had way morethan one thing going on that could have contributed to how I felt. I was actually a year on from the most stressful time (cancer diagnosis for mum and friend of my child) but it was as if the problems came out once the bad time had passed and the adrenaline that had kept me going stopped! I just hadn't made the connection.

Can you go out for a little while, on your own, this weekend? Museum, garden centre, walk in the countryside, whatever floats your boat.
Just to have some time to yourself.

Lottapianos 😂

Actually, that first line describes the people I'm surrounded by. 😂

I hear you Perfectly

I know you've been diagnosed with depression but have you seen a psychiatrist? I only ask because rapid cycling mood swings and extreme irritability can be symptoms of other mental health issues. I have bipolar 2 which manifested in my 30s and when I am mixed affective it is very similar to what you describe. Instead of proper manic highs I get extremely anxious and irritable as well. Now I am properly medicated it's much improved. Not saying that's what you have but it might be worth exploring whether there's anything else going on mental health wise.

crazycoconut No I havent. Sadly, I have raised my moods, and bipolar, before and it's been pooh poohed by the Dr I saw.

Sorry to hear that OP. Interestingly, I had years of GPs not listening to me until I took my husband along to an appointment. He was able to talk about what he had observed in my behaviour and hey presto, I got an immediate referral to a psychiatrist Might be worth considering pushing a bit more (maybe with a different doctor) and having someone there to advocate for you.

I'm not making a joke of it but seriously I think we all need a month long holiday on a beach somewhere with no stress. Everything is non stop. I think not wanting to empathise with others can mean you are fed up with stress and need downtime.