To think it must be nice being the dad of a breastfed newborn

[CocoDeMoll]

Because a bit like other relatives you can always hand them back and defer back to the mum ‘because he’s rooting again’!

Dh doesn’t have to wake up at all in the night and the buck never stops with him. It seems a cushy role to me .

DH would get up and change and settle DS after I’d fed him whenever he was there at night. I don’t think he had it easier - I think some men can use it as an excuse not to be able to do anything though.

I’m sure DH would’ve loved DS to take a bottle at times. I remember he sent me off for a massage for an hour when DS was maybe 8 weeks and went to hang out at my parents house (one street away) - I got back to DS screaming to be fed and DH completely helpless. It must’ve been a horrible feeling.

My DH found it incredibly hard I think. He managed to feed him a handful of expressed bottles in the very early days but after about 8 weeks our DS would tolerate nobody but me for at least 6 months and wouldn't take a bottle. Dh wanted to help but would be faced with relentless screaming every time our son was alone with him. It took a toll on his mental health and I don't think they really bonded well until DS was nearly 2. So no, I don't think he had an easy time and I could tell he was envious of his friends bottle feeding their babies and holding them while they slept etc.

Echt, breastfeeding period is fucking fab. Some of the happiest times of my life. Wait till they're teenagers! Mwah, hahahaha!!

Men and their bloody useless non functioning nipples LMAO at that unicorn

What I was trying to say is that He loves bonding with ds but as soon as the ‘cute cuddles newborn’ turn to ‘angry red gnome face newborn’ he hands him back with a golden excuse.

Oh yes, any crying resulted in the baby needing to be fed and baby was passed back to me.
Now he's thinking we should completely wean but still passes the baby back if there is any crying he can't solve!
He gets up in the night to get the baby though so that is super helpful :)

Bizarre. I used to absolutely love the fact that no matter who wanted to cuddle my babies, they had to hand them back for feeding

Actually my husband was a bit sad that he couldn't help feed and I know it made him feel anxious if he was on his own with her as he knew he couldn't feed her!

I understand OP

My husband did a lot of nappies and bathtimes which eased the pressure..

I fed. DH did everything else. Nappies, settling, cooking, cleaning, dealing with the older one etc. The feeding was the easy part. You just have to sit there and pretend they're still feeding to avoid all other tasks.

Like Confusedbeetle I loved my babies having to come back to me to feed

DH sleeps like the dead but by our third had learnt not to exclaim 'well that was a good night wasnt it?!' When i had been pacing the house all night with a non sleeping baby
He did however do everything for the house (except cook) whenever we had a wee one.

sam You just have to sit there and pretend they're still feeding to avoid all other tasks

So I’m not the only one that’s done that

You've got the balance all wrong if your 'D' H has an easy ride just because you're breast feeding.

Agree op. I have a fab dh and all 3 ebf. Means I have / had no guilt taking a nap during the day and handing over childcare!

My brother who had 4 ebf dds told my dh he should support me when struggling to bf dc1 as he would then get sleep!

My poor DH in this instance - I use to wake him up in the middle of the night feeds as well at the start as I was afraid of falling asleep - no great big snoozes for him!

He did more than I did tho at the start - I didn’t change a nappy for first week of DD life , lifted and laid, happily gave me my injections etc. He still does night times now, my DD is 2 so I wouldn’t say I’ve given him an easy life..

My DH needs more sleep than me so I did all the nights, expressed bottles.
He did stay home with the second one for a year though.

Just had a little cry about this myself! Little one feeding every few minutes, cries and then same all over again. I'm sitting on MN, humming a tune I've never heard, rocking her and playing white noise. Fingers crossed she's dozing off but I darent move. DH will do whatever is asked but BF is still hard at times

You just have to sit there and pretend they're still feeding to avoid all other tasks.

Glad to see its not just me !

It makes absolutely no difference whatsoever.

If you are home and your partner works all day, then it really should be up to you to do the nights!

If you have been living with someone and done 100% of the chores happily (god knows why), there's no reason why anything will change and you will get any help with a breastfed or bottlefed baby.

If you have a partner and are equal, the dad will be just as hand-down with the baby regardless of how he's fed. You feed, but baby still needs to be held, to be winded, to be changed and so on.

My ex is really, really pro breastfeeding. He thinks it makes him look like a super supportive 'new man' who cares so much for the wellbeing of his children.

I know that it is because it allowed him to get away with doing fuck all - sleeping in the spare room so 'you can get more sleep with the baby without me waking you both', handing the baby back to me after 30 seconds every time I begged him to take them so I could cook his dinner without a baby literally clamped to my breast as I cooked ('Oh, he's rooting, he's hungry again'). It allowed him to be much more rested so he was re energised for his next session of berating me for how messy the house was and for me being a 'lazy bitch' for sitting on the sofa feeding all day .

Am currently watching him do the same thing to his new wife and their baby. Mutual friends seem to think he's bloody Superdad though!

I breast feed my now 18 month old and my DH woke up every time in the early days to talk to me to make sure I didn't fall asleep to be honest it's when we watched the most movies (in 45 min sections) ever

I am four months pregnant and have said the same to DP. He won’t have to deal with very much for the first few months really and hasn’t had to deal with the pregnancy/labour. It’s unfair being a woman sometimes .

I used to put the baby on Dh side. Then he lifted them, gave them to me. When I was finished he did the burping and nappy if needed and settled back to sleep. 50/50 in this house. We both made them so we will both care for them!

My DS is a year old and still bfeeding a few times during the night. He has a cold at the moment so is up even more than normal, I admit I do get annoyed that OH gets to stay in bed while I'm struggling through the nights. He's a great dad though, very hands on and when DS was born and was in the NICU, he was better than me at giving him care, I was too traumatised so it was him doing his changes and feeding him through his tube while I was too scared to do it

If you are on maternity leave, you can sleep during the day. Your partner at work really can't. If you are truly exhausted, you will sleep at any time!

The difference with a helpful partner is that he will do the basic chores whilst coming home before going to bed. I am laughing at the idea that people should be doing the night shifts at home AND work the following day. If you are on the tills at Tesco, it's not the end of the world if you fall asleep. What would you think if your kids teacher was napping during the day however!