To think it must be nice being the dad of a breastfed newborn

[CocoDeMoll]

Because a bit like other relatives you can always hand them back and defer back to the mum ‘because he’s rooting again’!

Dh doesn’t have to wake up at all in the night and the buck never stops with him. It seems a cushy role to me .

You're missing a trick. I put all mine in the Moses basket on his side and he would get up and bring the babies round for a feed so I didnt have to get up and get cold. Then he'd do the inevitable nappy change and put them back, plus settling. I'd also make him het me a cup of tea on occasion as well.

Teehee! I know what you mean OP. DD absolutely refuses the bottle, but it means DH gets up and does the rocking / nappy changes / etc 4-5 nights of the week. And the other nights I try to do it solo so he gets to sleep continuously for at least a few hours.

While I was recoverying from my c section my husband did all the night care (burbs nappies etc) expect for feeding ( as was I breast feeding). Once I was better and he was back to work he still did between 10-12 or 5:30-7 to help me get a bit more rest several nights a week.

Feeding is of course hugely important but there’s lots more to parenting. If a dad isn’t able to the chance to bond with his baby or Mum is left doing all the parenting the issue is bigger than the milk delivery method.

...it must be nice being the dad of a breastfed newborn...

Said the mother of only 1 child

Wait until you have 2, 3, 4... children. The role of Dad taking full responsibility for the other children (whilst also working?) means sitting feeding a newborn is a million times easier and more restful.

You’re lucky. I booted him out of our room before the birth as he’s a smoker and I knew co sleeping was on the cards so he’s three closed doors away from the nighttime fun!! He makes up for my sleep deprivation in the day.

I’ve got a 4yrd old FATE but she’s a mummy’s girl who wants to be with me and the newborn all the time. Dh has to bribe her away from us with trips to the swings to give me a break !

My ex likes to blame the fact that I bf our dd(9) on his lack of bond with her. Apparently if I’d formula fed he’d have been able to help out and that would have helped the family dynamic.
The ‘family dynamic’ was that I did everything, all the feeding, all the nappies (bar two, credit where credits due), all the night wake ups, wet beds, vast majority of the baths (sore knees prevented this) etc etc
Whenever I asked for help there was some excuse as to why he couldn’t step up but now, as he reflects on it all 7 years later, apparently it’s all my fault.

Dh used to get up in the night and get the baby and then put the baby back afterwards

He is a lighter sleeper than me

But he is fairly 'unusual' in that respect

Even though the baby always needs me to feed her, my husband can bath her, change her, rock her, snuggle her and play with her. He does all those things to help me and after I've fed her will take her for burping and snuggle to sleep while I shower, get something to eat etc. Men can have a very active role in caring for a breast fed baby if they chose too!

My poor DH would probably beg to differ, the number of times I made him run downstairs for a glass of water, and traipse up the shops in the rain to buy me more chocolate

FOr an ebf baby it just means that your DH does everything house related - cooking, shopping, laundry etc.

Mine were both bf and DC2 was a complete bottle refuser, so DH never fed him.

However he still got up in the night. If I couldn't settle the baby after a night feed or to change a nappy. I always tried not to wake DH because he had work and I didn't, but sometimes you need help. And he would always take baby or toddler downstairs with him while he was getting ready for work, still does and they are 3 and 5!

If anything DH used to say he got a raw deal because I had my breasts to soothe the baby, where he had nothing

My DH was an amazing Dad and support to me. I could not have done it without him! He would get up in the night and bring DS to me, made me food, did laundry, changed nappies and bathed DS while I napped. He was incredible. Possibly harder work for him than for me in those early days.

Never having to do the nights was a definite bonus for my husband, but I enjoyed the cluster feeding stage when I got waited on sat on the sofa watching box sets while they fed and he cooked and cleaned up, and, with my second, dealt with the toddler too!

YANBU. I fed our babies myself and was well aware that the work was mine. It’s the way it is though and given the choice, I would still always have chosen to breastfeed.

I think my DH sometimes felt like a spare part, which was sad for him as he did want to help.

I did express a bottle a day that he fed to DD when he got home for work while I went for a nap, and he also did his fair share of nappies and bath time etc. He was also good at bringing me a cup of tea and food

I didn't mind night feeds because I'm an insomniac anyway so she didn't wake me that much

Thank fuck for maternity leave, though.

Congratulations on the baby op

YABU, if you want a break at night, then tell him he has to help, my DH was always up every time I was when the babies were tiny, to do nappies and bringing glasses of water etc... Its not ok to leave him to do very little for your children how is a strong bond ever going to develop if you do all the work.

Surely, if the father is working and the mother is on maternity leave, it is only fair that she does the feeds and nappy changes during the night.

Yes because new mothers responsible for a young baby all day don't need sleep...

You do know that not all mothers can nap when the baby is napping in the daytime. Would you expect these women to do all the night feeds and changes just because they are on maternity leave?

Not in our house! 2 babies EDF. I would spend hours and hours with baby dozing on the boob whilst DH did absolutely everything else. Cooking, cleaning, food shopping, nappies etc. Total lazy option for me

Surely, if the father is working and the mother is on maternity leave, it is only fair that she does the feeds and nappy changes during the night

People need to sleep, whether they’re working or not. It’s a basic human requirement.

I loved BF and my husband was sad she missed out on the bonding of feeding our DC and also because it meant they wanted me more than him. It was easier for him to go out and sleep through the night though!

Dd was ebf. Yup being daddy in that context sounds delightful! I wonder what dh would say. 🤔

Yanbu! My husband LOVED handing her back to me “she’s head banging again” and “think she needs a bit more milk” before running away! I mean he loves chucking the toddlers around, reading to them, chatting to them, playing in the garden with them...but the constant feeding, not so much! I think he was of the opinion that a newborn belongs to the mother exclusively!

DH does all nappy changes in the night (and most of the day time ones when he's at home)

He also takes DD in the living room to try and settle her when she isn't settling and wants to use me as a dummy. So he still has to deal with the newborn sleeping patterns, same as me