To have told this small child not to be rude?

[NotAnotherNoughtiesTune]

Walking back from school run and a l3/4 year old (?) was behind me on their scooter. I was going to move aside but before I did the child said "get out of my way". At this point his mother was way ahead of him so I didn't say anything. He stopped to look at something with his Mum and a younger child. I went past again and he once again was behind me but his Mum was next to him. Again he said to get out of his way in an annoyed tone and as his Mum said nothing such as sorry about that or told him to ask politely I shouted after him not to be so rude. Was I wrong for doing that?

Naturally I'm prepared to get slated as it's AiBU.

I don't know the Mum or child in question. I just thought even with a young child that's pretty rude.

I doubt anybody would think YABU. If someone is that rude you are right to tell them

Fair few round by the kids' school who'll behave like this - I had one screech at me to get out of the way while I was pushing a double buggy once. Very nice middle class area and the behaviour the kids are allowed to get away with and how they're allowed to talk to adults is appalling at times.

Mine do scooter to school (we park away from school in the car park we're requested to use to sort out the school gate parking wacky races routine on a morning) but by heck they're under a tight set of rules when they do so - they have points they're expected to stop and wait for everyone to catch up and they're not allowed to scoot up close behind people (hate it when you get a kid driving right up yer arse with one of them)... if I caught them yelling at people to get out of the way they'd be losing their scooter until they were probably the other side of puberty. There are a lot around here who let their kids bowl off half a mile up ahead at full pelt without any supervision whatsoever while they saunter along leisurely waaaay behind.

That happened to me too, except the child was at least 6. I just said 'how rude' as I stepped aside, I have no idea if the mother heard or not. Yanbu

Yadnbu! I don't even like it when an adult says excuse me without adding a please on the end which seems to be quite common these days

It's not exactly constructive feedback though is it? If you want to be part of the village that raises the child etc try "say 'please' next time, please" or somesuch.

The OP hasn't said she wants to be part of the village that raises the child?

He was rude to her and she told him not to be, as she had every right to imo.

You should have said it the first time round.

Concise I totally agree. Manners cost nothing, but the price you pay if you don't use them, could mean a lifetime of regrets and lost opportunities. People underestimate the power of manners.

YANBU. My for year old would have received an earful of he duple that way.

I'd do the same. It takes a village, and if the mum isn't disciplining him he'll soon find life quite unpleasant.

My GM is 96 and was knocked into a hedge by a 3/4 year old on a scooter. No one apologised to her or helped her up. Scooters should not be used on the pavement at all. YANBU

I suspect that parents of kids who are allowed to be rude, secretly enjoy it, either because they do the same themselves, or they'd like to. I used to know one such - you could see her secret little smile when one of hers was being 'assertive'.

Personally I'd put on my best Lady Bracknell voice - 'I beg your pardon? I will move when you ask politely!'

Perfectly acceptable.

Yanbu. I worry about how these children will be in future. I work in a shop and often young children will pay for their own thing's. Now when my children were small i used this as a time to get them to use manners. I regularly get things chucked at me by small children. The parents either laugh or don't say anything. One day a mum was so caught up in her phone the child paid and stood staring at me. I said thank you. Eventually mum looked up and stared too and said is she done? Then walked off.

It takes a village

Bollocks! It’s not up to the village to raise a child, it’s up to the parent. I’m responsible for ensuring my children treat others with respect. It’s not up to teachers, the other parents, ‘the village’. If a child is rude to someone they need to be called out on it, as do their parents, but it shouldn’t have to happen if the child is being raised properly.

@MismatchedPJs I get what you're saying. I was just shocked his Mim said nothing to be honest. But I do plan to say please would've been nice next time. I also said don't be rude not that he's rude. As in his behaviour was rude but I'm not labelling him a rude person.

Certainly it's his Mum and Any other grown ups around hims fault for not showing him basic manners. I just reacted instinctively but yes - not very helpful.

YANBU. Mine have been told people walking or pushing buggies / in wheelchairs always have priority on the pavement, and that they must leave a decent amount of space for others. I would be MORTIFIED if one of mine spoke to an adult (or a child actually, anyone!) like that.

And this is why young people today can feel entitled and are rude. YANBU, op.

I walk the dog in the afternoon and try to avoid school finish time. Yesterday, I went out at the wrong time. Kids filling the pavement side to side with me trying to get past saying “excuse me, excuse me”. No one moved. Isn’t it common sense to leave half the pavement for others wanting to pass/coming the other way. Eventually, I just walked careful on the road kerbsides.

This happened to me in London aquarium. Was walking around holding my 6yo's hand as it was so busy and a girl around ten said get out of my way and pulled our hands apart. I got in front of her and asked if she might like to try saying that in a nicer way and she rolled her eyes and stormed off. Her mother did have the grace to look slightly embarrassed though

@Motherofallbeasts Oh no your poor GM I hope she was OK?

See to me it's a bit like bystander effect with those situations. If one person piped up, others do. But nobody wants to be that one person.

YADNBU

I have a nightmare with my kids on this front. They are mixed Korean and British - in Korea, it is beyond acceptable to take up space, push people out of the way, smack people by accident and not even acknowledge it let alone apologise.

Of course, being British, I have brought them up not to do those things.

It has led to many instances of my opinionated daughter saying stuff like ‘mummy, why did that lady push me? Pushing is RUDE’ or even directly correcting them - ‘excuse me, pushing is NOT polite.’

She’s grown out of it, mercifully.

WorraLiberty he may not know exactly what was rude, though.

3/4-year-olds are not always good at interpreting strange grown ups who tell them off in the street, (especially if mum then just says "what a nasty lady" or something). An older child would know that he was supposed to say "Excuse me".

You were right. The parent should have given him a telling off, however, in no uncertain terms.

A boy at dds school is incredibly rude. His mum is nice but completely permissive. I know he didn’t do many play dates. No idea now but I suspect not. I made him the food his mother said he liked. He made rude faces behind my back. Then to my face he smiled and said how yummy it was.

Then when I asked him and dd what they were talking about, he told me it was “none of your business”. Then he said “I’m only going to say this once, Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re a mother fucking bitch but I still love you”. So I pulled him up on that too. There were plenty of other smaller incidents but I forget them all. I think from memory I counted 13. I only had him for 4.15 - 6.30! He was 7 and needless to say, this was the last play date.

Anyway, I was taking him to watch my dd ride. I knew he would be bored and had told him so. I also knew he’d be a nightmare. But dd was really enthusiastic and he insisted he wanted to come. Perhaps he liked animals, how could I know? I showed him round the stables and told him what he could and couldn’t do, he chatted to the instructor etc. My dd needed me as support to watch her too because she was on a tricky pony so I couldn’t just leave her to it. I was so glad when it was time to go home.

Anyway, I saw him last week. At the top of his voice, he said “you know her (pointing at me), she made me sit and watch riding for ages bla bla bla”. I just kept walking. I knew it was a complete lie. He’s 10 now. I do feel sorry for him. He’s just been allowed to act anyway he wants and that’s going to be bad news for secondary school.

Not scooter related but indignant parenting related. My friend and I had an incident at the weekend in the park where two boys (aged around 9), threatened to kick her tiny daughter off a roundabout. They were very loud about it. My friend said "please don't say that to her, it's not very nice". We went and sat down and thought nothing more of it. Five minutes later we are accosted by an angry and aggressive mother who called us every name under the sun for "telling her son off" and who got more and more angry and aggressive when our responses were calm and factual. She said we had "no respect" and had no right to tell him off or "threaten" him. She could not see the dichotomy. She finished off by saying that he had ADHD and therefore "communication issues". I pointed out that my ASD son who was with us, also had communication issues but didn't go round threatening other small children. She shouted back that he had an "aggressive form of it" . It was pretty clear why the child was like he is. If that had been either of my children, I would have been horrified and made them apologise, not justified bullying of a smaller child. As an aside, my ASD child scoots to school with me, knows to slow down, say excuse me and has a little bell to warn of approach. It's basic good manners so YANBU.

@ThisIsTheFirstStep I'd say if a grown up pushed into my child her commenting on it loudly is a direct consequence of that woman being so rude. Any embarrassment or looks she gets are well deserved.

I was pleasantly surprised the other day a boy around 10/11 on a bike was coming towards me and he stopped/tucked in and said "I'm sorry, you go ahead".

Shame that has to be a surprise though.