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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend thinks I'm weird for speaking Spanish to DC

81 replies

leftcheekrightcheektiptoe · 09/05/2018 18:17

my two Dc (ages 4 and 7) are already bilingual, they speak English of course and the mother tongue of their grandparents which is Urdu.
They have been learning Spanish in school and I have started my Spanish up again as I started learning a few years ago.
My friend heard me speaking to DC in Spanish (just some basic commands) and she got very annoyed and asked why we were learning Spanish, I told her because I've always loved the language and watch films and listen to songs in Spanish since a young age. (i watch films in many languages with the help of subtitles).
She said it was ridiculous because I have no Spanish ancestry or link to Spain in any way and I should stick to English or Urdu as we have links to the languages and introducing a third language is going to make them seem weird and confuse them.
i tried to laugh it off as I've not seen her react like this before but she was off with me the rest of the time.
Am I a weirdo for wanting my DC to speak a third language?
Admittedly we have no connection to it but it can only benefit them to know another language?

OP posts:
Allreadygone · 09/05/2018 18:47

It won't matter if some of what you teach them isn't quite correct. If they take proper lessons later they can be corrected then and at the moment if you were to go on holiday to a Spanish speaking country the fact they attempt to speak it is far more appreciated than getting it perfect.
I wish I had learned French and German 45 years ago.

Allreadygone · 09/05/2018 18:48

X post, you do go to Spain!

sonjadog · 09/05/2018 18:50

I think YANBU but maybe it depends a bit on the context. Was she visiting you with her kids and you suddenly started speaking Spanish to your kids? Because in that case, I can see she might think you were being a bit of a show off.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 09/05/2018 18:50

I think it makes you sound like a smug idiot to be honest, showing off in a language you don't even speak but I wouldn't say anything to you!

It's great for kids to speak several languages, but throwing a few words here and there is of no benefit to your kids whatsoever Grin

WhatisaNarwhal · 09/05/2018 18:51

En mi casa, hablamos espanol. Solo palabras faciles como “vamos” “hola!” “venga!” ... desafortunadamente he olvido mucho, especialmente la gramatica .... Soy Inglesa, vivo en Yorkshire, pero me gusta la cultura, la lengua, y los Gentes.

As you can see- I’m far far far from “well practiced” but better to chatter to the kids in Spanish, than plonk them in front of Dora for x hours a day!

DoubleNegativePanda · 09/05/2018 18:51

I wouldn't care what the friend thought, what business is it of hers anyway?

DD and I speak Esperanto to each other although we're not very good at it yet. How will you become fluent if you don't do it? And there is no heritage to be had in Esperanto so your friend could take a flying leap as far as I'd be concerned.

DD sometimes speaks to me and texts me in Korean despite the fact I understand exactly none of it.

frozenmash · 09/05/2018 18:57

I think you are doing a great thing, but a lot of people out there really don't see the point in speaking anything other than English unfortunately.

Newyear - Sorry but you are wrong about French hardly being spoken. It is spoken in so many countries either as a first language or as an official language. Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Canada, Chad, Congo, Ivory Coast, Monaco......

HildaZelda · 09/05/2018 18:58

The more languages kids can speak the better. It's so much easier to learn another language when you're young and will definitely benefit them when they get older too.
My BIL is married to a German woman. Oldest child was born in Germany, other two were born here and not one of them can speak one word of German because basically their mother couldn't be bothered. I think it's really sad.
I have a couple of Polish neighbours and their children are fluent in English and Polish. It's great to see.
Keep on speaking Spanish to your DC's and ignore your 'friend' Hmm

OrchidInTheSun · 09/05/2018 18:58

I think it's great if your Spanish is fluent. Someone I know does it and isn't fluent and has the most appalling accent. I cringe for her (and her poor kids)

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 09/05/2018 18:59

How funny that people think it's 'smug' or 'being pushy' or 'showing off' to encourage your child to speak a foreign language

It's no wonder the British are so terrible at speaking foreign languages if it's seen this way.

OP you sound perfectly sensible to me. The last place I worked (big company) you were almost guaranteed a job interview if you speak Spanish.

LuluBellaBlue · 09/05/2018 19:00

My mum loved Spanish too and spoke it to us loads grownung up.

I also loved that I smashed it at school (I was bottom set at everything else!)

Keep doing it, it’s a great idea!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 09/05/2018 19:05

How funny that people think it's 'smug' or 'being pushy' or 'showing off' to encourage your child to speak a foreign language

a foreign language you don't speak yourself? Yes, it's show off and a bit ridiculous. That's from someone whose kids only speak English at school, I speak to them in my mother tongue and my DH in his Grin. Multiple languages do not confuse them, because it's being taught properly.

I cringe when I hear people talking to their kids in my language, when they are butchering it but think they look clever. Performance parenting at its best.

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 09/05/2018 19:13

ikeepaforkinmypurse

No wonder British people are loath to try foreign languages if they're immediately judged as 'show off' and 'ridiculous'.

kaytee87 · 09/05/2018 19:15

She's probably jealous but she also might not have liked you speaking a different language while she was there, it excludes the non speaker so is a bit rude.

OrchidInTheSun · 09/05/2018 19:18

I speak in another language to my children but a) I'm bilingual and b) I don't do it when other people are around unless they can also speak it

CarysMa · 09/05/2018 19:18

I admire the confidence of the people posting here, their Spanish is not correct and they're using it to communicate so that their DC will learn mistakes like a mother tongue. I'd approach it as learning together. I do speak a bit of Spanish to my dc but it wouldn't be so full of mistakes.

Wineandrosesagain · 09/05/2018 19:19

ikeepaforinmypurse
Totally disagree with you - “your language” doesn’t just belong to you. How very judgey and unpleasant you are.

Op, carry on, your children will develop a love of and an ease with languages.

Smeddum · 09/05/2018 19:21

@CarysMa I’m sure mine isn’t, but I try my best Smile

Hoppinggreen · 09/05/2018 19:21

It could come across a bit performance parenty
Our dc know a few words of German (DH has German Heritage), Spanish (own a property there and visit often) and French ( why not?) but we usually speak a English if we are with just English people

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 09/05/2018 19:25

How odd. It's really nothing to do with her.

As long as they aren't confusing English with Spanish/Urdu with Spanish I really don't see the harm.

If done right? Being bilingual is a sign of great asaptability and communication skills.

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 09/05/2018 19:27

Op, carry on, your children will develop a love of and an ease with languages.

Yes. And they'll also realise that it's OK to try to speak a language even if you don't speak it very well. Which is how we learn to speak languages...

Although they should also be warned that any attempt to speak a language with anything other than perfect grammar and pronunciation will have them labelled as ridiculous by Mumsnetters.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 09/05/2018 19:43

“your language” doesn’t just belong to you.
that's not what I meant at all. Being fluent in my own language means I can hear all the nonsense the performance parents come up with! I am a prime example of people communicating in a language they don't master, I am well aware my English grammar is horrendous, it has never stopped me.

I speak my mother tongue with anyone who wants to, and people do love to show off their knowledge when they hear an accent.

it's the performance parenting I am mocking, and the fact that throwing a few words here and there does not make a child bilingual. Ask any parent with a foreign au-pair or nanny if their kids were fluent at the end of their stay.

ConciseandNice · 09/05/2018 19:47

@ikeepaforkinmypurse how thoroughly pretentious of you and unpleasant. I have never met a non-native speaker of English who I’ve thought anything like this of and if anything I’m invariably impressed at their confidence and yes, objectively speaking I know many who speak very poorly (in terms of grammar and vocabulary). I hope your English is nigh on perfect to warrant sitting on such a high horse!

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 09/05/2018 19:55

ikeepaforkinmypurse it's because of people like you that so many others are too under-confident to try speaking a language that's not their own. You must be so proud.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 09/05/2018 19:57

hahaha how thoroughly pretentious of you and unpleasant
yes, I am the one throwing random foreign words in a language I don't speak to my kids in front of people to make us look clever. Grin

I hope your English is nigh on perfect Confused clearly not if you did not understand the part where I wrote that my English was "horrendous". Wrong word? I meant my English is crap.