Was I unreasonable? New neighbours!

[Sherlock28]

A little long as I want to include some background.

We've recently had a new family move in next door. Mr X (the DH) has a car business so the first week they moved in there were 4 extra cars in our narrow little cul de sac, all parked legally, 2 on our shared driveway and 2 more or less outside his house. We have 2 spaces for us on our drive so no issue with us not being able to find parking, just a little extra manoeuvring needed as one of his cars was parked across his drive so blocking ours by a few inches. This bothered DH a little but I told him to leave it as they were new neighbours and I didn't want any issues. We could just park right up against the wall to allow space for us to get in on the driver side.

When bin day arrives they constantly put bags in our bin and leave bags all around the side. DH went out once to put a bag in our bin and there was obviously no space! There's only 2 of us and 6 of them so I again I told DH not to bother saying anything, if our bin is half empty their bags going in isn't an issue and they would obviously have more rubbish than us as there is more of them. They obviously hadn't realised we had more bin bags that time as our bin had been taken out and put in front of the house.

Today DH comes home from work and there is vomit on our empty side of the drive and on theirs next to the driver side of their car. He knocked on next door and asked if everything was ok. The wife answered and asked why he was asking this, he said there is vomit on the drive. She said let me go in and check with my husband and closed the door on him. DH waited a few minutes and realised she wasn't going to come out again. He then parked elsewhere. I arrived home and the wife was washing vomit off the drive. I was unaware as to what had happened and as soon as I opened the car door she walked over and told me DH was unreasonable for knocking on and he should have just cleaned it himself. I asked if it was my DH's vomit and she said no it was her DH's but he was come across with nausea, puked, walked in his own house, and didn't tell anyone. She said it had just happened so her DH didn't have chance to tell anyone. I enquired about her DH, hope he got well soon and just walked in to my house. Myself and DH checked our security camera and Mr X had vomited at 2.25pm, myself and DH both arrived home between 5 and 5.30pm so it was there for hours! I said hello to Mrs X just now as I was taking my bin out and she said 'I thought you were nice neighbours but I was obviously wrong' and just walked in to her house.

I'm so confused, did DH or I do something wrong here?

It's an estate of new build, all bought and no social housing. Previous tenant bought the 5 bed house next door to us but then split with her DH not long after so the house was just too big for her and one child. We've been there since the beginning.

Fuck sake they sound awful and you sound stuck

House on market now if you wanted to move anyway before the relationship disintegrates any more and they try to sabotage a sale

If you don't want to sell at this moment both of you go knock on the door and set the record straight with them. They are rude.

Do you have a residence association?

If you're planning on moving, then don't confront as it's not worth it and don't you have to declare about neighbourhood disputes, these days?

Just get a lock for your bin and start looking seriously.

Do you live in a middle class area?

I wouldn't even let them use my bin.

Give them an inch.

We had new neighbours, and they decided they didn’t like cats, so started poisoning them, everyone’s, then they got a cat !

Their dogs, they let just roam, and people brought them home, thinking they’d escaped, they hadn’t, I used to see her open her gate and let them loose, her husband was away and she didn’t want to walk them.

it just hugely escalated, to them blocking our drive to stop us on the school run, going inside leaving her engine running blocking me in, saying shame i hadn’t been injured when I had a car bump...threatening us.
We moved. Absolute nutcases, as did all of the nice neighbours..leaving all the horrible ones to it...really.

Try not to get involved at all, and when you are ready move . But you may have to put up with a lot. Lock on your bin is a good idea.

It's not a class thing

This is a problem of just bad manners

Start planning to move now and try to stay away from your neighbours since you'd have to disclose any bad neighbour issues when you sell I believe, right now it's seems like a minor situation but take heed of the warning signs! One thing I think I can guarantee is that they won't become better neighbours over time... People rarely if ever mature into more considerate people....

When a problem neighbour moves into a nice area, you start to see for sale signs, at least we did.
And if they start walking up the cul de sac to see their equally horrible friend in a fluffy towelling dressing gown, holding a large glass of red wine, run for the hills !
She knows who she is !

I would apply to land registry to see if there are any restrictive covenants on their deeds about operating a business at the property. If there is such a clause, I would notify the house builders that they are in beach of it. There may also be restrictive clauses about where they can park. We have a clause on our property about this.

Forgot to say, Land Registry details only cost about £6 and you request the details on their property.

I'd say it was very unusual to expect your neighbours to clean your vomit. I'm fact I wonder if something else going on. To puke in the drive and go in and not mention it then she expects the neighbours to clean it is bizzare.

Let's face it, in any normal situation you'd be wailing "fuck me im so I'll I just puked in the drive " and your partner would clean it up, not pretend it didn't happen and expect your neighbours to clean it up.

So I'm guessing he's very ill indeed, or he's an alcoholic. Something ain't right, but she's used to not mentioning it and cleaning it up.

Be pushovers for a while and don't confront them. You really don't want bad relations, that you have to declare if you are intending to move. Then move sharpish.

Thank goodness you were planing on moving anyway.

I agree with some PPs. If you can build bridges with them, then do try. Something along the lines of, "I'm sorry we got off to a wrong start. Here's some wine/chocs/ flowers to welcome you properly to the close/road." I just think if you don't then, it could breed resentment and bitterness between both of you. I think the idea of moving could be an idea, but you never know who you mind end up living next to in your next place!

Your mistake was not nipping it in the bud in the first place but given their reaction, I'd say to consider moving as they sound like they'll get nasty.

I guess having a dump on their drive under cover of darkness and leaving it there would be childish?

Childish...and entirely justified.

Start by taking their rubbish out of your bin and dumping it back on their drive each time.

They sound utterly vile.

I can understand you don't want to feel rushed about moving but it sounds like the right time to start looking. In my experience, people who behave as selfishly and thoughtlessly over little things don't get any better. The little things add up and it becomes unbearable. You don't want to jeopardise a potential house sale by having to declare any disputes so sooner rather than later seems preferable.

I liked your comment MONKEY.
Currently whilst sympathetic to you OP very in fact, I think you will have to face them off, nicely and get the hell out of there quick smart.

Def move if you’re planning it in any case before it escalates and you have to declare it!

Think we’ll be hearing more from the op and their neighbours

Update: haven't seen the neighbours since the bin thing, not even coming in and out of the house. Fingers crossed vomitgate was the worse of it!

Let's hope it stays that way for you OP. Nothing worse than bad neighbours.

Any more conflict or has it settled?
Get a skip outside that's my other suggestion
But obviously they might get sick in it or put rubbish in