To feel incredibly sad that my ‘baby’ is 4yo tomorrow?

[Notjustamam]

So I’ve spent an hour playing a lovely imaginary game with my DD and it suddenly hit me that tomorrow she’ll be 4 years old. These games are going to stop in favour of friends and technology just as they did with my older 4 DC. I’ve, literally, had to leave the room coz I’m crying my eyes out. Think it’s just hit me I’ll never have another baby.
Please someone snap me out of it.....

bertiesgal (also a mother of sticky toddler twins)

I felt this way with my first. I cried on his first birthday (but I was pregnant so I don’t think that helped ). I haven’t really felt this way since. I prefer my DC the older they become, I can find more common ground and have more fun with them. I also revel in their newfound independence and enjoy not having to wipe shitty arses anymore .

motherforkin that quote made me cry and my "baby" is 31

Oh! motherforking I'm crying like a right twit after reading that, it feels so true. My little dd is 21 this year, I may show it to her one day but it's probably a bit much to land on her now.

OP, it is sad, and we're only human for our tears. She will continue to amaze, and astound, and no doubt drive you to distraction equally, just as her older siblings probably have. But love is never wasted on our dcs, so indulge yourself and just enjoy her company, and she'll always have that fabulous, loving foundation.
and for us all

The quote is from The Poisonwood Bible (link contains spoilers)

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Poisonwood_Bible

Watching them grow into their own personality and independence is beautiful, but I understand the feeling of nostalgia and sadness. Just today my 16 month old refused my help for the first time - he wanted to peel that banana himself! I can't believe how fast it all flies by (and I have older DC so I've experienced this before).

Mother Nature does this on purpose so that you'll have another baby. My dp's daughter has had six! Now she's too old at 48 to have any more, she he got a puppy!

Off topic slightly BUT

The Poisonwood Bible is an AMAZING book and I urge you all to read it

I was the opposite in honesty, never really enjoyed the baby/toddler stage. Not maternal in the least, but I am good parent

I understand. My 5th and last baby will be 4 next month.

I cry at every milestone, I get what you mean. But The next bit is fab, the bit after that is even better and on and on.

Mine are now teens. I just finished dinner with mine, one told me about something he'd learnt in history which I didn't know about. The other one told me a story about something at school and he was so funny I laughed for ages. Seeing them growing and changing is incredible.

Mind you I'm also a twin mum and I certainly don't long for the baby years!

I've had many losses. I wish all my babies were here. But I still feel tearful every birthday my one surviving child has! I can't help it I just love babies! I look forward to all the stages we will experience but it doesn't mean I can't feel a strange sadness at the same time.

DS2 is about to leave his amazing and incredible pre-school in a couple of months and will be starting kindergarten.

His pre-school is so amazing that when they did DS1's graduating ceremony I was inconsolable. DS2 didn't attend at that point as he was too young and we were in 2 minds as to whether we would send him that September but after that ceremony we told them we'd accept the place straight away.

I watch my cherubic 4 year old for hours when he sleeps. I do everything that that quote mentions. He grew so fast between 18 months and 3 years, even more so than DS1 it seems.

And I get wistful All THE TIME. And yet so happy when I see both of them playing together, but sometimes I wish for just 10 minutes of reliving those few breathtaking moments when they were newborns and I just sat and stared at every tiny speck of them, those days where I had nothing else to do except stare at them as they nursed and slept.

Now it's all I can do to keep from shouting "stop growing up so fast!" - I'm equal parts delighted and equal parts terrified at how quickly it all goes.

My little boy is my one and only, born after several ivf attempts. I’m looking forward to seeing him grow but try and take in every moment on the way. I sometimes have a little cry when a milestone passes. He’s getting heavy and I struggle to woosh him up into my arms now. I know it’s daft but I will miss this. x

I'm with you - my youngest is 12, and I can't work out where the years have gone. He'll be taller than me shortly and I've had to start getting him to lean against me less heavily or he'll push me over. He still gives great hugs though!

I've never really got mournful about the birthdays, or even did the tearful first day of school thing... was glad to see that I'd raised them to be confident and able to go in and take it on with a really positive attitude to it (and slightly in awe of how well they could do that at such a young age). I think DD2 would have killed me if I'd dared be upset at any increase in "her" number!

I'll be more wobbly I think end of next year when the eldest one leaves infant school as the school's been so good, and warm and nurturing toward her.

I'm not a baby and toddler person naturally though - love infant school age. You're over that overwhelming "fuck they're small - I might break them" phase, over the toddler tornado constant death prevention phase but they still believe in fairies and Santa and that you're the most awesome person on Earth (after the fucking Paw Patrol).

DS1 is going to be an adult (legally at least) in less than a month. He’s my first, rather than last, but it’s still both very odd and completely normal at the same time. I’m not ready for him to be ‘grown up’ but then I look at him and realise what a lovely (nearly) adult he is.

At ds2's infant school two children died from cancer. It really upset me, even though I didn't know them personally. I'm always grateful for another birthday. I sometimes miss the younger version of my dcs, especially as ds1 is a horror of a teenager! Try to focus on their loveliness now and how they are developing into their own person. Also I don't think it would be good for your ds to see you sad he's growing up. He will always be your baby even when he's old and hairy!

Totally understand what you mean OP my DD is also 4 this week and very much my last....I know exactly what you are feeling but the quote above is fabulous and gives it real perspective and we should remember how lucky we truly are.

I'm sorry, your dd, not my ds. It's all about me!😳Sorry.

I feel sad about my babies who aren’t here, I feel sad about my parents who aren’t here to be grandparents to my DC, and I have a future that means I may well not get to grandparent either. I feel sad about all of those things and I feel sad that my DC will grow up and change and I won’t have my DC anymore.

“The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief - But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.”

I know how you feel OP, I have 3 DCs 5,4 and 2. My youngest turns 2 on Thursday and I just got a letter today from the baby clinic about his 2 year check up, that made me a bit emotional considering I'll never have anymore children 😢

Notjustamam

Your DD has an amazing birthday

I'm 30 29 + 1 tomorrow

what a cringeworthy post.

Unless you are really and truly incredibly upset about your lovely and healthy DD's 4th birthday .in this case I'd suggest you seek some support because this feeling isn't remotely normal in these circumstances.

@saison4 I’m so sorry I make you cringe. Feel freer to troll somewhere else