POSSIBLE ED TRIGGER WARNING
I used to be anorexic but since my eldest was born I have maintained a healthy weight and am now fine. My DD who is 11 knows this, she knows what it is and knows that I used to have it but that's it, there has never been any need to go in to anymore detail with her, shes never asked any more questions and she has never had to worry about it because I am better now.
My SiL witnessed me ill for about 2 years, we didn't see each other very often and whenever she would ask I would just say I was doing fine so its not actually something that she knows anything about. I'm not close to her, my children aren't close to her and my DH isn't close to her. We do have lots of questionable history and I don't want to drip feed but it would take too long to mention everything and its not actually relevant to this.
And so last night SiL rang DH, dd spoke to her as well and went up to her room with the phone which isn't something that normally happens but me and DH commented it was nice they were chatting and wouldn't have considered needing to supervise dd talking to his sister.
In this phone call though SiL basically said (and this is only from what dd has told me so far) that now dd is becoming a teenager she is going to worry about her body and her weight which is normal but that she shouldn't ever come to me and talk about these things because it will make me really ill again, she went in to detail about me nearly dying, having to be hospitalised and force fed through a tube (all stuff that SiL hasn't properly been told so I guess she is just presuming was the case) and then that dd should always phone and talk to SiL about this stuff instead.
I have had to keep dd home from school today because she was so upset about it this morning I finally got her to tell me what was wrong after of hours of her saying she cant tell me and she doesnt want to hurt me, we had some lunch together and now she has now asleep, didn't sleep at all last night because she was up worrying. I have had to tell her stuff that otherwise I wouldn't have ever done, that an 11 year old shouldn't have to know.
AIBU to think right now I don't ever want to have to talk to SiL again and I don't ever want her talking to my dd again?
I am trying to convince myself that for once SiL had good intentions that somehow she was trying to be kind to me and DD and I don't want to let my past and the fact my dd is so upset affect how I'm viewing this. So would appreciate an outsiders view on whether this sounds like she trying to cause trouble or if she was trying to be kind? DH is working and so I cant speak to him yet