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AIBU?

This Morning - Kids having ears pierced is child abuse ?

275 replies

daffodillament · 08/05/2018 11:52

What utter nonsense. Just tuned in as heard them mention this subject stemmed from Mumsnet ! Now the woman is saying Kids ear piercing is basicly the same as FGM !! I mean WTF ? Get a grip. No it not !

OP posts:

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Queenoftheblitz · 08/05/2018 13:09

I wouldn't compare it to fgm but find it barbaric. I saw a 15 month old have it done and the shock and pain on her face and then the scream made me feel it's wrong.
It's shallow and looks trashy.

Andromeida59 · 08/05/2018 13:11

Absolutely agree with @Blue. FGM and ear piercing are two ends of the same spectrum. Many get their children's ears pierced for cultural or tradition "I had it so....etc.". FGM is the same. There is absolutely no need for a child to have pieces of metal punched through their skin. Somebody rightfully pointed out that if this was done to an animal the RSPCA would be involved. It's unnecessary and frankly just plain ugly on young children. I had mine done when I was 12, it was my body and my choice. Why do somw parents believe that their children's body is a vanity project?

JufusMum · 08/05/2018 13:11

My mother had mine done when I was 6 months. She had actually made the appointment for herself but chickened out. I'm actually glad she had it done when I was that young because I don't remember it, and when I had my helix done in Claires aged 25, I cried my eyes out. It's never bothered me that I had my ears pierced as a baby. It's just something I have always had.

DD asked to get her ears pierced at 11, I agreed. Then at 15 she wanted her conch done, I think it looks ugly, but she's 15 and old enough to make her own decisions.

onalongsabbatical · 08/05/2018 13:13

I really can't see the comparison Blue. FGM is cutting parts of a childs body away. It causes permanent pain and removes a womans ability to enjoy sex.
It is not at all comparable to making two tiny holes for earrings. Now I agree that it shouldn't be done to babies, who are unable to understand or consent. But even in that scenario, to equate it to fgm is revolting. Ok, so by that argument is it possible to equate FGM broadly speaking with rape and ear-piercing broadly speaking with inappropriate touching? And can you see that although one is less harmful, there's no question that both are wrong, because the child is being used for the adult's gratification before they can understand the implications and give consent? Because there's no way on this earth that ear piercing a baby is for anything other than the parent's pleasure, and nothing at all to do with the child's well-being. Isn't that broadly how abuse should be defined?

DrCoconut · 08/05/2018 13:13

Perhaps people who say it's abuse have never encountered real cases of abuse. The two things are not comparable, nor is ear piercing/FGM. I had my ears pierced aged 2 and I didn't look naff or trashy, nor do I have any regrets whatsoever.

daffodillament · 08/05/2018 13:13

Yes Blueballet but you can hardly say ear piercing is permanently damaging a child's body but you can with FGM. Have already said I don't condone toddler piercings but to call those parents child abusers is a step too far.

OP posts:

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 08/05/2018 13:14

As a procedure it isn’t anything like FGM but as a principle it is.

And no, the holes don’t always close up. I haven’t worn earrings for over 20 years and I still have stupid holes in my ears, too low down for earrings to look any good anyway. I had them done when I was 10 so nobody to blame but myself. If my mum had done them when I was too young to want them I’d be pissed off!

daffodillament · 08/05/2018 13:17

Perhaps people who say it's abuse have never encountered real cases of abuse. This makes sense !

OP posts:

BaronessEllaSaturday · 08/05/2018 13:17

Ear piercing does normally permanently damage the babies body, what do you think the holes are if not damage. A lot of things are abusive, some more serious than others but that doesn't stop the less minor things being abusive.

MaryShelley1818 · 08/05/2018 13:18

I absolutely think it’s a form of abuse...putting holes into your childs body against their consent for so called ‘cosmetic reasons’ is barbaric and should be illegal to do that to babies. Where do you draw the line? If ears are ok, are nipples? Nose piercing? Genitalia?

And I work in Child Protection so do have a real understanding of ‘abuse’ but just because there are much worse cases doesn’t mean minor acts are ok.

BlueBalletDress · 08/05/2018 13:22

I wouldn't call people who pierce their babies ears child abusers, as such.

But if you think of child abuse, at one end you have low level neglect (dirty clothes, lack of nourishing food, routines, sleep etc) the other extreme physical and then sexual abuse. So do I think someone who doesn't provide their children with clean clothes every day is as bad as someone beating and abusing their child? No, but neglect is still a form of child abuse.

I see ear piercing and FGM the same way.

Morphene · 08/05/2018 13:25

absolutely on the same spectrum! Not comparable in the effects they have, but both stemming from a fundamental assumption that a child's body belongs to its parents rather than the child, which I find morally abhorant.

I totally agree with the person that pointed out that putting ear studs on a dog would be considered cruelty to animals and that it is therefore completely inexplicable that anyone would argue against piercing a baby's ears being defined as cruelty to children.

BlueBug45 · 08/05/2018 13:27

The culture excuse for piecing the ears of babies is bull.

I had it done when I was a baby and when I asked my mother why she did it, considering one of my sisters' was done later, she replied it was so people knew I was a girl. My reply was along the lines of FFS as I knew from previous conversations my mother dressed my brothers randomly in pink as babies.

On the other hand if you have children who are around 7/8/9 that understand it will hurt and they have to be careful with earrings then get it done. I had to deal with constant moaning from 2 friends' as their parents refused to allow them to have their ears pierced until they were 16.

Blit · 08/05/2018 13:29

I don't have pierced ears and don't wear jewellery, the idea of babies having their ears pierced horrifies me. But my DD, who turned into a teenager at 2 was obsessed with having it done. In spite of me telling her how painful it would be she finally got her earrings for her 4th birthday, she gritted her little teeth and smiled as it was done.

Her ear became infected and I was hoping the doctor would say she had to remove them, no such luck, he gave her some 'magic' ointment and said his little girl had the same problem.

Queencity · 08/05/2018 13:29

There should definitely be a minimum age limit for ear piercing. I hate seeing babies and young children with pierced ears. Here in the US your paediatrician will very often do ear piercing.

happymummy12345 · 08/05/2018 13:32

Piercing your child's ears is not child abuse. That's utter nonsense. I don't see any issue with it at all

BibiThree · 08/05/2018 13:35

I can't bear the thought of pierced ears on anyone, and dangly earrings make me feel a bit sick.
I see it as abusive to pierce the ears of small children and babies who aren't old enough or informed enough to consent to it.
Poking metal through their flesh for decoration? I couldn't do it.
I know people think this is an overreaction but it's how I see it and can't agree with it.

Namechange128 · 08/05/2018 13:35

Not equivalent to fgm but not ok. The people saying they're glad they had it done because it hurt a lot as an adult... Do you think it doesn't hurt a child as much? And there's much more risk as a child of pulling it out, playing with it and getting it infected etc. Mean and unnecessary.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 08/05/2018 13:37

happymummy12345 so you genuinely don't consider causing a child needless pain to be abusive and can't see anything wrong with it. Fair enough however if someone did it to you against your wishes as an adult I bet you'd quickly be shouting assault

Fatted · 08/05/2018 13:37

I don't agree with it. Personally I've never had my ears pierced and my parents refused to let me have it done until I was 16. One of the very few things they were strict about, but I do understand why now!

But to compare it with FGM or non-medical circumcision is an outrage and disgusting.

WeWere0nABreak · 08/05/2018 13:38

Is it your body?

Yes - do what you like
No - leave it alone for the owner to choose

How is that difficult?!

I was surprised and disappointed when I had my baby recently to be given a leaflet about the best places to have baby boys circumcised in the area

Blit · 08/05/2018 13:39

Babies don't need embellishing, it's painful and they cannot express a view. It's madness.

Racecardriver · 08/05/2018 13:40

Well arguably it is at least assault.

Jaxhog · 08/05/2018 13:40

Hurting someone without their consent for decorative purposes? If you think ear piercing is ok, what next - baby tattoos? It's outrageous to 'decorate' your child permanently.

Until your child is old enough to understand and consent (or not), then yes, it's child abuse.

IronMansIronButt · 08/05/2018 13:42

You're punching holes in your childs body with a sharp implement for no good reason. What else is it but (fairly mild) child abuse?

If you pierced their nose or lip or anywhere else you'd expect to get the same response, why is ok just because its ears?

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