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Original poster

To think my husband is a shitbag and he cant make me sell?

74 replies

TotalReboot · 08/05/2018 09:29

Hoping someone can talk me down. Not a great way to start the working week, I'll lay it all out as briefly as possible without dripfeeding... and please, if someone can give me an honest view?

Split with Husband in Nov. He has some equity in my property but no interest noted on the mortgage - its all in my name due to his poor credit rating.

We have a 1 yr old son. When my ex lived with me he bank transferred £1000 per month towards bills and food. (BARELY covered it!) since he left he has given me nothing, makes no payment towards the house or bills but pays our sons nursery fees - approx £500, as I have to work to pay all the bills solo.

This morning he has demanded I allow access to a valuer so he can get in order 'his interest' in the house with a solicitor.

I've said in time I will give him his original stake back, but that he has to give me time to get back on my feet from maternity leave!! My question is this. Can he MAKE me sell? Can he force access with an estate agent?

Any views appreciated guys... he's got me in a bit of a spin :(

OP posts:
elderflowerandrose · 08/05/2018 09:51

I would not allow anyone into your home without some very good legal advice. Ask around to get a good solicitor and if the house is in your name then that changes things.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 08/05/2018 09:53

You absolutely 100% need a solicitor. No one here can advise you really, you don’t know if anyone here has a legal background and every case is different anyway. Good luck

elderflowerandrose · 08/05/2018 09:53

He definitely can not make you sell, nor will he get away with not paying proper (backdated) maintenance for his son. In addition to this, with such a young child most courts will try and keep you in the house if possible.

Definitely don't get into debt if you can help it.

nottwins · 08/05/2018 09:58

If he struggles to hold down a job and you are therefore unlikely to get meaningful maintenance from him, my understanding is that this would be taken into account in determining the split of assets.

Different situation as my ex actively didn't want an interest in our jointly owned (but paid for 100% by me) house, but my solicitor said that the judge would view that as fair as I couldn't ever expect any ongoing help.

user139328237 · 08/05/2018 09:59

On the maintenance issue the £500 in nursery fees could quite easily be a lot more than the CMS would expect him to pay and he has no obligation to continue to pay them.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 08/05/2018 10:00

Are you sure he doesn't have any interest? He might have registered his marital home rights with the Land Registry. Have you checked?

Astrabees · 08/05/2018 10:00

OP please get some proper legal advice, you have been very misinformed by some posters on this thread and I really don't understand why anyone with worse than zero legal knowledge should positively assert "advice" that is totally wrong. From what you say it doesn't sound as if divorce proceedings are underway yet. When they are in progress you will each need to lodge a form E with the court detailing our assets and financial situation, so it makes sense to get at least a tentative valuation of the house at this stage as that is probably the largest asset. Perhaps you might want to get an estate agent round too as that will probably give you a small range of figures to start looking at.

GabriellaMontez · 08/05/2018 10:04

You must get a solicitor to protect yourself and your interests. Find a way to afford it. It will be the best money you ever spent.

I bet he already has.

People here can't help. They don't know the full story.

Original poster
TotalReboot · 08/05/2018 10:15

Thanks Guys, I know I'm not going to get it resolved on here, but I do appreciate everyone thats taken the time to drop me a quick reply. Good or bad! I was in just such a spin over it there, its really helped to 'get it down'

If I think about getting married again PLEASE someone hunt me down and slap me hard!

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 08/05/2018 10:17

I really don't know why people who don't have a legal background try to"advise". At the end of the day, it's all down to the Court to make an order which it considers is just and equitable, and the Court has very wide powers if you are a married couple

Grump1 · 08/05/2018 10:20

CAB Will set up a half hour appointment with a legal advisor for an initial talk with no commitment to that advisor. CAB provide a lot of solid advice. Phone them this morning.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 08/05/2018 10:24

Are you in England and Wales OP? The system in Scotland is different, I think less so in NI.

Original poster
TotalReboot · 08/05/2018 10:25

Ah! I'll ring the CAB right now. RIGHT NOW infact.... I'll update shortly. I'm in England. Thanks again all.

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 08/05/2018 10:32

Definitely get legal advice - but worth considering if the housing market where you are now is in a lull...it might be a good time to do a valuation!

FizzyGreenWater · 08/05/2018 10:32

Get on to CAB.

Yes you'll need a solicitor.

No way can he make you sell Grin

But yes, he's probably entitled to more than he put in. This is where your solicitor hits hard with every bit of evidence you have for his lack of input, failure to contribute etc. and you get that interest DOWN as much as possible and frozen right now. Also advice on whether you might be better off taking on debt to get his share back to him asap so he doesn't continue to accrue interest in the property. Also, no maintenance? He's obliged to support his child so he can't continue to 'make money' out of the house interest while on the other hand holding back maintenance.

SecretIsland · 08/05/2018 10:40

If he takes home less than £3.3k a month op then he's already paying all the maintenance he is expected to in nursery fees.

£500 is a decent amount so I think you're unfair to say he gives you nothing - and certainly no court/cms will see it that way.

ValMc1 · 08/05/2018 10:44

Marriage does make a difference as I learnt the hard way - however it was a relationship that a spanned 16 years. I owned my home outright when I met him, and stupidly married him 8 years in - if I hadn't, the outcome of our divorce would have been very different to the 6 figure sum I had to give him. You really must get legal advice - you can have half an hour free advice from most solicitors - just to get an overview of what you are facing. Good luck. BTW - I also paid every bill as well - he gave me £100 pw so no way did it cover half the bills.

ValMc1 · 08/05/2018 10:44

We did not have children together though so that wasn't a consideration.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 08/05/2018 10:48

CAB are probably not going to be able to do any more than signpost you to a family solicitors, just be aware of that. But convenient to have a list of local ones.

Spanglyprincess1 · 08/05/2018 10:53

When u set up the morgage was the equity split not in the paperwork? It was for me and ex husband regarding deposit and any equity split in the home moving forwards. I'd seek legal advice and the access appears to be for a valuation only not a forced sale. You would get first refusal (I believe) to buy out his share whatever that may end up being.

MaiaRindell · 08/05/2018 10:55

It might depend where you live and how long you've been married. I am divorced. My name was not on the mortgage, I never contributed financially to it, but I got 50% of the equity. But exDH still owned a flat from before we were married that I wasn't entitled to anything from.
My colleague had owned a home in her name for 35 years. She'd been married for 20 and her husband was entitled to a share. I'm in Scotland.

electricblue2017 · 08/05/2018 10:58

I'm recently divorced and the house and mortgage was all in my name but as I was married my ex did have a legal right to it and I couldn't boot him out as it was deemed the marital home.

The courts will look for what is proportional and fair so I ended up keeping the deposit (+any money made on that) and he got a proportion of the mortgage repayments (and any money made on that equity).

I thought I was covered by being the sole name but to no avail! Luckily We were civil and sorted it out between ourselves as we had no deed of trust which would have set out proportions of money

HoneyBadger32 · 08/05/2018 11:03

He has an equitable interest in the property and has contributed to it's maintenance and upkeep and to the mortgage payments, so he will be entitled to something if there is equity in the house, how much will depend on many factors including the duration of the marriage. He will be entitled to seek a valuation, and you would be wise to pre-empt this and have your own valuation carried out so you have something to compare his too. His legal adviser is looking after his interests and is taking the right steps.

NoSquirrels · 08/05/2018 11:03

I think you should allow the estate agent to value it now - before you do any more work to it. You want a low valuation.

Insist on getting your own estate agent in to value it too. Then agree the "value" by splitting the difference.

Basically - don't obstruct, but play smart.

Good luck OP.

swingofthings · 08/05/2018 11:15

The key question is how long have you been married and how long together before. If married over 5 years then starting pint will definitely be 50/50 regardless of ownership especially if he's been contributing towards the mortgage which at £1,000 a month you'd expect to be the case.

If you've been together under 5 years married under 2 you could have an argument that it was a short marriage and each could go back to where you were before but if you bought the house whilst married then you don't have much chance to argue it should be yours only.

As to whether he could force the same will depend on many factors including whether you could afford to buy something else on your own big enough for you and your baby.

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