To find eating well so hard?

[RedPandaMama]

I need help not even going to NC.

Extremely concise version of my eating/health history:

• always been 'chubby', never slim or super active as a kid
• DM has weird food habits/obsessions over certain foods - won't eat anything with fat (healthy or not), nothing high calorie, but also can't cook well so we used to eat lots of frozen food as kids but very small portions, think 2 fish fingers and 1 potato waffle at 10 years old.
• I ended up bulimic as a teenager, also very anxious and depressed and used to secretly binge on chocolate and sweets late at night in my room, eating until I felt sick.
• now me and my Dsis are both the same. We both have sugar addiction and issues with food where we always clear our plates even if full and are both addicted to sugar.

Where I'm at now - overweight by about 3/4 stone. Extremely unhappy with the way I look. DP is also overweight by about the same and also has GERD and snores which would be greatly improved by losing weight.

I exercise a reasonable amount, always do my 10k steps and try to work out when I can around baby and work. I need to do a bit more to get into a routine though.

My real issue is food.
If I calorie count on MFP I end up eating the wrong things - lots of cereal bars and low calorie, high sugar, low nutrition foods.
I've tried Slimming World 3 times and really struggle to keep on plan, I just find it a bit dull. I find with both this and calorie counting I really hate myself if I 'go over' e.g. have over my calorie allowance or syns which I know is the old ED rearing it's ugly head.
I hate to admit it but since having my daughter less than a year ago I have twice relapsed into bulimic habits. Trying my best to keep them at bay though.

Are there any other eating plans or 'diets' that I could follow that could help me lose weight but not become obsessive over? It's just so hard. MIL has lost an incredible amount of weight on a high fat low carb vegetarian diet, maybe that?

Anything appreciated.

You shouldn't calorie count. Your problem is your entire relationship with food has been twisted since your childhood years.

I suggest you Google the Mediterranean diet and start with that. Its about eating good portions of healthy nourishing food, with the emphasis on lean protein, fresh veg and grains.

Thank you Brighton that sounds like the right sort of thing.

Anyone else?

Yes, you just need to be eating real food, not low fat or fad diets. I use the bbc good food site a lot for meal ideas.

I used hypnosis. I went to a hypnotist but there are lots of apps out there. The trick is listening every single day at least once (if possible more).

Could you give up sugar completely? I am an all or nothing sugar eater. I can’t have it in moderation. It was surprisingly easy to give up, and I’ve stayed off it for 3 years.

I think you have to change your whole mindset towards food. We tend to see food as a treat and eat sugary foods cause we deserve them rather than seeing food as fuel and essential nutrients for our bodies.
You have to change your whole lifestyle towards food. If you eat a lot of sugary snacks then don’t buy them in the first place and eat fruit or healthy snacks instead. If you eat large portions then reduce the amount of high carb food and pack it full of veg (e.g. if I have a spat Bol I put loads of veg in the sauce and then eat more sauce and less pasta).
It might seem boring at first but if you rate serious about losing weight and getting healthy you have got to make the changes so that they become habit.

It sounds like you need to start afresh with a new lifestyle. Agree with the Mediterranean suggestion and also BBC Good Food for recipe inspiration. Counting calories is only really good for short-term weight loss, not a long-term lifestyle plan.

But a complete overhaul will be difficult to stick to and you should cut yourself some slack if you occasionally slip back into old habits. I would aim by starting to replace your largest meal of the day with a planned, healthy option. You can then work from there to extend it to lunches and breakfasts.

Some dinner inspiration would be: a veg curry with rice, bean chilli, stuffed peppers with salad and feta, jacket potatoes with cottage cheese and salad, quiche with new potatoes and broccoli, courgette pancakes, falafel in pitta with sweet potato wedges, roast veg with hummus.

Hope that helps.

I do the “no s” diet (which isn’t really a plan) and have lost 4 stone over the last couple of years. It’s basically 3 meals a day - whatever you want but no snacks, no seconds and no sweets (dessert) expect for Saturday, Sunday and “special days”

It seems counter intuitive but being able to eat as much as I wang for a meal actually makes me eat less. The no snacks is what I think has made the most difference and by reducing sugar during the week, I find that on the weekends when I’m “allowed” it I need less and find too much really sickly.

I agree I really need to change my whole mindset to food. I just find it extremely difficult as being brought up I was told never to eat 'fatty' foods - nuts, cheese, milk, avocado, seeds, greek yogurt, butter - as they would make me fat, and instead eat less calorie dense but high sugar alternatives. My average lunch when I was in school would be unbuttered white bread, salt and vinegar crisps, a chocolate biscuit and some raisins. Totalling about 400 calories but they were such empty calories nutritionally.

Today for lunch I had olives, grapes, tomatoes, 2 slices of cheese, strawberries, half a pitta bread, cucumber, carrots, houmous, and about 10 cashews. Felt so good eating that sort of food and I need to think more about food as fuel rather than calories and fat and carbs.

The no S diet sounds really interesting @outcrops did you buy the book for that or just read about it online?

I think there is a book but I read about it on here! It’s reallu simple though. It works for me as I love food but the no snacking has made a huge difference. It’s so simple and obvious but I think making it a “thing” rather than just saying I’m trying to eat healthily helps. And I don’t feel hard done by.

For example an average day would be

Poached egg, crushed avocado and grated cheese in a wrap

Jacket potato with cheese and tuna mayo and salad

Rice fried with prawns, tomatoes, peas spices and soy sauce with an egg.

Find Michael Moseleys BBC docs on iplayer and YouTube. He's very good at explaining and motivating positive dietary change. His book "The Blood Sugar Diet" is good too and it's all about avoiding diabetes and associated conditions.

I'm the same OP I have a very unhealthy relationship with food and binge eat all the time. I can't stop myself. I'd love to lose weight but just find it so tough.

I feel SO proud of myself today. For the first day in probably a year I've not had any artificial type sugars at all. I decided to try low carb high fat and see how it went. Took a bit of willpower between 9 and 11pm which is usually my sugar binge time, but I didnt cave!

Today I've eaten:
Breakfast: greek yogurt with strawberries
Lunch: cashews, fresh olives, strawberries, cheese
Dinner: taco in a bowl - bed of romaine lettuce topped with mince in spices, cheese, homemade salsa, cucumber, tomatoes and soured cream
Snacks: NONE (!)
Drinks: water with a slice of lime in, 3x coffee with 2 sweeteners and milk

I'm stupidly proud of myself. Decided to track the calories after the fact and it's 1350. I've also never gone a day without drinking sugar free very sweet squash or fizzy drinks so that has been one of the most difficult things for me. But I've done it! And no snacks!

@RedPandaMama
That is absolutely brlliant OP!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you feel any different eating this way? Did you feel satisfied/filled up?

Give it 2 weeks and you won't be craving the pop anywhere near as much.
I used to eat at least a bag of crisps a day. I've stopped actually fancying them

You're doing great OP!

When I eat low(ish) carb I eat a lot less and don't feel hungry. My downfall is social eating: I find it hard to eat low carb when I'm out with other people, and for me the low carb thing goes to hell if I don't stick to it fairly rigidly. But if you can stick with it you should feel a lot better.

Interesting what you say about water. I hate water and drink litres of diet fizzy drinks. Probably counter productive. Did you find that the lime made the water more appealing?

Forget the diets. Cut out sugar and carbs. It’s easy. Dinner for us tonight was venison burger and chick pea mash. Lunch was 5 bean chilli.

Venison was a roadkill deer,

I think you should stop thinking about which "diets" work. Any diet can potentially work if all your looking for is a period of weight loss but it doesn't sound like that is what you need. I'd imagine you have a fairly good knowledge of food and you probably know what foods you should and shouldn't be eating so that's not the issue. The difficulty is achieving and maintaining the changes and changing your whole relationship with food and there no "diet" that will help with that. I would suggest considering something like cognitive behavioural therapy which will help with being ready to make the changes and maintining them. It will help with some of the issues you have mentioned and if you can get on top of them, the rest should fall into place.

Exante. Takes food out of the equation.

@RedPandaMama There's a new Low Carb Bootcamp starting on Monday - the threads are very motivational and full of tips for a low-sugar diet, recipes etc.

OP I have similar bad relationships with food and a history of ‘disordered earing’ including periods of starving myself, binging, purging and using eating almost as a method of self harm. I’m also a good five stone over where I want to be but have been overweight most of my adult life after being underweight as a teen.

This year I want to lose the weight but do it healthily so I can models best behaviour for 2 yo DS. I’ve tried diets and calorie counting before but it’s so easy for me to slip into bad habits, this time I want to just focus on my relationship with food.

For about two/three months now I’ve made it my mission to get five-seven portions of fruit and veg a day. Most days I have started hitting 8-10 now and I feel so much better for it! I have a similar problem with sugar but I’ve found I want it less and less now and for the first time in my 30 years I can genuinely say that I’m ambivalent towards it. The weight is coming off slowly but I have a much better relationship with food which means I can see my eating habits change, and that is what’s most important to me now. Is that something you could do?

Reading your original post could have been me to a tea. Mother with an unhealthy attitude to food and I was in a vicious binge/purge cycle as a teenager. The binge part just continued as I got older and despite being severely obese and so unhappy I just couldn’t stop overeating especially on sugar.
I tried all the diets but could never stick to them longer than a few weeks then would eat more as I would feel such a failure.
It took me a long time to realise that if I wanted to lose weight and get healthy I had to overhaul my whole lifestyle and mental attitude not just follow an eating plan.
I did a lot of reading and self help work around overeating using CBT - in particular I found the Christopher Fairborn books and articles really useful. Whilst I was doing this I didn’t diet as I saw it as preparation. I then decided I needed something completely different from my usual pattern of eating.
I set myself a 30 day vegan challenge. I didn’t count calories or watch fat amounts but followed a vegan diet and just having to stop and think about what was in my food was a massive help for me, I started cooking everything from scratch, couldn’t just grab massive bars of chocolate or ice cream so really helped with snacking. That being said I never denied myself if I wanted something as long as it contained no animal products. I found not only was I more full, I felt amazing and I lost weight without trying!
I then continued to be vegan but as my body felt better I wanted to nourish it with healthy foods so automatically my refined carbs and sugars were reducing. This was 19 months ago when I started. I know do have some meat and fish but avoid dairy as my skin, rhinitis and allergies have vcleared up amazingly and for the most part I still have a plant based diet. I still don’t calorie count and am never hungry and have everything I fancy in moderation which has happened naturally.
I’ve lost nearly 15 stone now. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing I feel.

It’s been bloody hard not in terms of what I am eating by the preparation and working on ‘me’ to get into a place where I understood better my relationship with food and not let this become so toxic.

Please do not follow a diet. Work on yourself and feeling worthy as only then can you sustain and want to nourish yourself with food rather than be stuck in a cycle of comfort eating and self hatred and misery.

Well done OP! Ps taco in a bowl sounds heavenly, definitely going to try it!