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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is anyone awake to try calm me down.

40 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/05/2018 04:06

My DP went to london yesterday for a concert in Brixton which is a 4-5 hour train journey away from where we live he's gone on his own and I asked to him to text me and let me know that he got to his hotel ok after the concert because this concert wasn't finishing until 2am and I haven't heard anything off him since he was at the concert IABU to be sitting here worrying about him I don't want to be that crazy girlfriend that rings round all the hospitals but I didn't think it was too much to ask that he just let me know that he was safe. Am I being stupid sitting here worrying about him should I just go and get some sleep and try not to worry too much.

OP posts:
Jenijena · 07/05/2018 04:09

I bet he’s used all the charge up on his phone, taking photos or something. There really isn’t much you can do right now - can you get a bit more sleep until dawn at least?

Duchessgummybuns · 07/05/2018 04:10

Try not to think the worst, while it’s a bit shit that you haven’t heard anything it could be something as simple as his phone running out of battery. Try to get some sleep if you can and hopefully you’ll hear something in the morning.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/05/2018 04:11

Jenijena Your right he probably has I will try and get some sleep and try not to worry too much I know I'm probably being stupid right now.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 07/05/2018 04:11

The battery on his phone probably ran down. They say bad news travels fast so in all likelihood he is well. Still I know how horrible it is sitting up waiting in the middle of the night.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/05/2018 04:12

Duchessgummybuns it's hard not to think the worst when he's so far away and my anxiety is running away with me. I probably will hear off him in the morning. I will try and get some sleep am sure he's fine.

OP posts:
Jenijena · 07/05/2018 04:13

I don’t think you’re being stupid (I’d be the same) but on the principle that @coyoacsn used, you’d have found out the bad stuff.

Go to sleep and imagine the bollocking you’ll give him tomorrow (after the relieved to see him hug).

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/05/2018 04:14

Coyoacan That's very true and am sure I would've heard by now if anything had happened he's probably fast asleep in his hotel room and am sitting here worrying about him for no reason.

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 07/05/2018 04:16

Honestly I don’t know why he’d need to text at 2am after a concert when he might have had a drink or two (which can distract the mind). Do you have reason to believe he’s a danger to himself? Is he a vulnerable adult? It’s the middle of the night and he’s out, I think needing to text your partner that you are safe is a bit much and quite a nuisance. I would be annoyed however he hadn’t if you had agreed he was to do it though. But seriously, unless he tends to get himself in trouble a lot (fighting or drinking himself stupid) I wouldn’t worry.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/05/2018 04:16

Jenijena Thank you just wasn't sure if I was just being daft just hard not to worry when he was that far away and on his own but I would know by now if anything had happened. I will try and get some sleep and give him a good bollocking when I see him tomorrow bloody men they can be such nightmares when they want to be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 07/05/2018 04:18

Hideandgo we had agreeded that he would let me know when he was back at the hotel so I knew that he was ok but it seems his phone has either died or he has completely forgotten either way I'm going to try and get some sleep.

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 07/05/2018 04:32

Good luck OP. Hope u sleep ok.

thebewilderness · 07/05/2018 04:38

We do this stuff all the time. We ask them to call and they forget or they ask us to call then we forget.

You are going to worry till you hear from them so just relax and get the sleep you need and be ready to respond in case there is an emergency and not just a low battery or tired and forgetful P.

TroubledLichen · 07/05/2018 04:46

I’m sure he had a great time possibly used up all his battery taking photos and/or got back to the hotel late, was possibly a little drunk and went straight to sleep. I’m sure you’ll hear from him tomorrow. And next time maybe don’t agree that he’ll contact you when he’s back at the hotel. It’s easy to forget when it’s late and after a few drinks and it’s caused you so much stress. Better just to wish him well and agree to speak in the morning. Hope you do manage to get some sleep though.

rwalker · 07/05/2018 05:56

Please don't make a big deal about it or you will look like you didn't want him to go and are kicking off. Sorry to admit but this is the type of thing I'd do my principal is if some thing had happen someone would of contacted you so all ok

Rachbones1992 · 07/05/2018 05:58

My husband is a nightmare for this... he even once lost his phone and so I heard nothing apart from his friend posting that they’d found him passed out on fb 😳 luckily he is better now we aren’t teenagers anymore! I wouldn’t stress (easier said than done) he will be asleep in his hotel room and full of remorse tomorrow! Make sure he brings you back something nice as an apology (I usually get sweets or flowers!)

Llanali · 07/05/2018 07:14

Tbf you posted at non long gone 4am. If the gig finished at 2am, 30 mins to exit venue, 30 mins to grab a kebab, 30mins to find the hotel (walk or find a taxi).... it’s easy enough to see that he might not even be at the hotel yet, or if he is he’s having a pee and some water etc. So getting settled before he texts.

vampirethriller · 07/05/2018 07:19

If it was me I wouldn't text that late in case I woke you up, I'm sure like everyone else said its a case of get back/charge phone/eat then think Oh I'll text in the morning. Plus if he got a night bus they can take a lifetime.

DragonMummy1418 · 07/05/2018 07:20

Anxiety has gotten the best of me a few times over things like this.
I hope he's got in touch OP and you've managed to get some sleep! Thanks

DragonMummy1418 · 07/05/2018 07:23

And all the people saying why should he... well because he said he would.
Because the op clearly has anxiety and her partner knows that... but perhaps you are the kind of people to say walk it off to a broken ankle as well. Hmm

FaFoutis · 07/05/2018 07:40

I don't think you should have asked him to text.
I go to gigs on my own (that involve lots of travel) quite often, it would be a pain in the arse to remember to text. I would forget after a few drinks.

eileandonan · 07/05/2018 08:02

He probably got back really late as the concert finishes at 2 but he still has to get to the hotel. Depending where his hotel it could have taken a while to get back and thought it was too late and simply fallen asleep. Hope he has messaged you now!

Skarossinkplunger · 07/05/2018 09:02

Make sure he brings you back something nice as an apology (I usually get sweets or flowers!)

So you’re not only needy but you punish him for it as well!

MrsDilber · 07/05/2018 09:13

I agree with pp, flowers and sweets aren't necessary.

Hope you managed to sleep op and that he contacts you soon, to alleviate your anxiety.

BettyBaggins · 07/05/2018 09:17

Dont forget if he has no charger with him it might take a little longer. Give his hotel a buzz soonish in case he cant remember your number!

ToadOfSadness · 07/05/2018 09:52

Phone the hotel and ask for him.