AIBU to think in the UK women generally dress in quite a frumpy way and to wish we wore period clothing.

[NCJaneDoeNut]

Just that really. People don’t seem to make an effort and if you do you end up looking ‘overdressed’.

The reason I say UK is because that’s where I’m based and other places I’m seeing as a tourist or on tv, so maybe not a realistic impression. Not that they are worse than anyone else.

I don't really think that making a big effort to be well-dressed is a virtue. There is far too much emphasis on appearance in this world, not too little. If many women in the UK choose not to follow the whims of fashion or spend much effort, time and headspace on adorning themselves, I say good for them!

I mean people look so rumpled and scruffy. It affects me in that I have to look at it.

It affects me because it affects how I dress ‘to fit in’. If I turn up to the school run in heels, tights, a dress and an up-do, it’s too much and I become the weirdo.

By period it’s anything really up to the 50s really. Clothes became factory made and cheaper so that rather than having one black dress, two normal dresses and a Sunday best or two, the nation’s wardrobes are now bursting with poorly-made, ill-fitting, grey, shapeless, bobbled, pyjama-looking clothes.

Yes I'd like to parade around in an Elizabethan dress with a crazily stacked wig on my head, clothing is too practical and boring these days.

Men are also generally quite scruffy, but will wear a shirt and chinos and look smart when necessary for the most part.

I’m confused.

Are we talking dressing up with Lucy Worsley or are we talking menstruation?

I have no desire to wear corsets and bustles. I don’t have periods.

Can I stay naked? It’s very cheap.

It affects me in that I have to look at it

Goodness me you POOR soul. How on earth do you deal with such hardship?

It affects me because it affects how I dress ‘to fit in’

Your problem is your desire to "fit in". What is wrong with being an individual?

I live in continental Europe and can always spot Brits a mile off! I think maybe it's because we do very casual and very formal quite well in the UK but still haven't quite got the hang of "smart casual" (and I include myself in that). Its a generalisation course, but where I live, people manage to look casual and rather well groomed at the same time somehow. I don't understand how they do it!

I always dress alternative but smart and dressed up. I always am fully made up with jewellery etc this is my choice and it’s nobody’s business what I wear or what others wear either, people should just do what pleases them frumpy or not!

It affects me because it affects how I dress ‘to fit in’

Well that's easily solved, have you ever considered not giving a shit?

I mean people look so rumpled and scruffy. It affects me in that I have to look at it

Your peace of mind shouldn't be affected by something so trivial as other people's clothes.

If I turn up to the school run in heels, tights, a dress and an up-do, it’s too much and I become the weirdo

Then you are out-of-step with where you live. Either accept that and join them, or dress how you want but accept that no-one else is interested in doing likewise, or move to where you'd feel most comfortable.

By period it’s anything really up to the 50s really. Clothes became factory made and cheaper so that rather than having one black dress, two normal dresses and a Sunday best or two, the nation’s wardrobes are now bursting with poorly-made, ill-fitting, grey, shapeless, bobbled, pyjama-looking clothes

The past is long gone and I don't think it's coming back. The good news is YOU can dress however you want.

It affects me in that I have to look at it.

Oh bless, are you having an attack of the vapours to compliment that period dress?

I'm incredibly good at smart-casual. I live in a very specific 'type' of clothing, iron everything and am never less than immaculate. It's a control thing for me; if I look 'ready' I feel ready. I don't judge others for not doing what I do, though; that's where you become U.

DH and the DC don't give a shit how they dress or look. They arrive downstairs some mornings looking like drunk toddlers picked their outfits for them. Life is far easier when you don't give a toss.

Men are also generally quite scruffy, but will wear a shirt and chinos and look smart when necessary for the most part.

And I'll put on a dress and look smart when necessary for the most part - what's the dif? Neither men nor women need to look smart for the school run, however, that is not a 'when necessary' situation. But if you want to wear heels and an up do to drop your kids at school - knock yourself out. I'm sure all the other parents will think you look lovely - inasmuch as they will give you any thought at all.

You're not getting it OP.

This is the UK.

Nobody gives a shit if you want to do the school run with an updo and heels.

So do that.

Me too!
From what I can gather there are "rules":

1. Hair and nails groomed
2. Little to no colour, neutrals only.
3. A light tan.
4. Tailored pieces.

In the UK, we are fortunate to be able to wear whatever we like.
You too can wear whatever you like, without criticising the rest of us.

But people can wear what they want. They just can't demand that everyone else paints a sympathetic backdrop to their fashion style. I think that's reasonable.

Men are also generally quite scruffy, but will wear a shirt and chinos and look smart when necessary for the most part.

Heels and an up-do aren't necessary for the school run.

And men get away with fucking murder with clothes so bollocks to women having to make an effort all the time.

If I turn up to the school run in heels, tights, a dress and an up-do, it’s too much and I become the weirdo.

Not at our school you wouldn’t. No one would bat an eyelid.

Btw My DH is never “scruffy” and I don’t believe that I own anything shapeless, ill fitting or bobbled.

You issue isn’t what everyone else wears. Your issue is that you don’t have the confidence to wear what you’d like to.

I’m not sure you are that important that people are staring at you at the school gates with your heels and up-do barnet. We have more important things to be focusing on.

However I’d you were to turn up in a1920’s flapper ensemble, that should turn a few heads.

Can I dress in men's period clothing please?

I mean people look so rumpled and scruffy.

I am the ultimate scruff. Luckily I live in a deprived area where no one bats an eye at my scruffy short hair, jogging bottoms, t shirt, hoody.
I'm currently in shorts (they might even be men's shorts as more comfy!) and t shirt.
I try and smarten up a bit for work by wearing black trousers & more fitted tops with cardigan, but soon as I'm home I'm getting changed
Sorry you wouldn't like looking at me

OP I’d much rather you had to fit in with my frumpy than I had to fit in with your heels and updo. There’s good reason we’ve moved away from the constraints of earlier times and a lot of it has to do with the growing legal and social freedom for women. So no. I have no interest in going back into the cage.

Actually this thread has just reminded me to put my cropped leggings in the wash

OP I agree with you. Generally in the UK it's a less pulled together stylish look. Today in the heat I've seen lots of leggings and too-tight crop tops. Whilst they may be comfortable, to my mind that's not what I consider stylish or chic. Chic doesn't take effort. It's a mind set!