To think you get to a certain age and people feel it is okay to refer to you as “old”

[thisishard2]

Either directly or indirectly.

Am 49, the two people in question are similar ages - one a bit younger, one a bit older. Was quite taken aback both times - in fact one them has done it more than once .

Is it just me, but I would never say this to anyone, whatever age they were?

‘What’s wrong with being old?’
Exactly, joystir. I’m in my late 50s, I like bing old. Many friends didn’t make it this far with me.
The problem isn’t the chronology, but how society expects you to behave as a woman. I’m not bothered by the exterior signs of aging, I’d be more bothered by a stagnant mind, or an inability to change and evolve as a person. Grey hair and wrinkles are minor side effects.

Granted, the word is ill-defined but to me the rejection of 'old' only reinforces the notion that being old is such an unfortunate, even unattractive, condition that it shouldn't be mentioned. Some of the ways around it are pretty silly, too--'older'? er, everyone's 'older' than countless other people. 'You're only as old as you feel'? get away out of that, you're as old as your chronological age. 'Senior citizens'? sounds like bureaucratic jargon. For what it's worth I'm very near pension age and so I'm old. And I'm very lucky to be so.

I work with someone who is 50, considered herself "old" - has done for the past 7 years I've known her. She can't do exercise because she's old. She can't go into town for a meal because she's old. She can't wear certain things because she's old. I find it a bit odd. On the other hand I know a 55yo who runs 5k every day, keeps up with fashion, and enjoys embracing new experiences. She seems youthful when having a conversation. It's all in the mind.

When DS1 applied to uni DH said "We're old!" He can speak for himself.

What’s wrong with being old?

Nothing at all, as long as that is what you are content to be called/call yourself.

The problem is when you aren't, and as the present society does not value age, the values attributed to age are overwhelmingly negative.

Unfortunately, at the moment, none of the connotations of "old" in the UK is anything other than pejorative/patronising/marginalising in ordinary conversion.

^^This.

And MN is a microcosm of this. I am sick of the number of threads that put bad behaviour or attitude down to age/dementia (or ASD, but that's another issue) when it's just bad behaviour.

I get in first and call myself old :o perhaps they felt they were doing the same as they are similar ages (I don't say it about anyone else, but I'm retraining with a bunch of 20 somethings, and the one person in my class who is ten years older than me once got the hump with me for calling myself old because it implied that she was too...)

Btw I don't count myself out of things for being old, I use it to brush off why I already know background stuff, or why I don't panic about standing up in front of 50 people and giving a presentation in a language I still make mistakes in etc - old equals thick skin, self confidence, not really being bothered what people think, and knowing stuff :o Also in my case it does mean that I cba with some of the socialising, been there, done that, prefer to go home to my DH and kids now.

My mum is 49. If anyone referred to her as old I'd be a bit because she's really not old, at all. She's definitely in her prime. She's also never been more beautiful! I'd consider "old" to be OAP age tbh but even then no wouldn't call anyone old to their face!

My Mum is 70 and I don't think she's old.

Some 70 yos are old. I think it's not just fhe age that makes you old but state of health etc.

I'd rather be old than middle aged. Middle aged sounds beige and fussy and conventional. I'm skipping middle age and being an eccentric old woman who doesn't give a shit.

My mum still claims to be middle aged and gets irrate if even young children innocently refer to her as an old lady, even though she is physically elderly with age related ailments and has had an older than her age attitude for as long as I can remember. Sod that, I'm embracing the freedom of "old".

I'm 57 next week and I am definitely not old! Nor has anyone described me as such (well not to my face anyway)

Age is relative. My teenagers think 25 is old. My MIL was old when she died 18 months ago - she was 96.

If they're a similar age, they're probably just kidding around with you. My dad's 70, I say "hello old fella" and he says "hello young rat". My mate's a few years older than me so I put "haha you're really old" in her bday card last year. So this year the one she got me one made out to "Ginger Pubes".

If you think "old" is an insult then you are ageist. You're agreeing that the word can only be an insult.

I'm 50. I don't mind being called old. 50 years is A LONG TIME!
You can decide that "old" = worn out or decrepit. I disagree so don't give a darn if that's what any others think it means. They're obviously idiots.

A lot of you are very weird about being called old.

There’s nothing wrong with being old.

I’m 50. I’m old. I run marathons in under 4 hours, cycle sportive events, go on climbing trips, open water swimming, shop at Boohoo.com, am a size 8. I can’t be arsed to dye my hair so I’m grey, but I’m always tanned from running outdoors in running knickers and vests. I don’t own a TV so keep myself busy, active and open minded. 50 is old but that is no excuse for acting old.

I have colleagues whose idea of a good time is a morning at Tesco and can’t walk up a flight of stairs. They are younger than me but behave older than my mother.

Age is a number. Nothing more.

I’m nearly 50, my friends from Uni days tend to be younger than me, and they think I’m old. Some of them have been telling me I’m old since I was in my 20s - just because they’re a few years younger.

My newer friends tend to be older than me, and they seem to think I’m relatively young. It makes me laugh that adults compare ages - we can’t help which year we were born.

It’s just a matter of perception and a chronological event. Agree with posters who say it depends more on your outlook on life.