To think you get to a certain age and people feel it is okay to refer to you as “old”

[thisishard2]

Either directly or indirectly.

Am 49, the two people in question are similar ages - one a bit younger, one a bit older. Was quite taken aback both times - in fact one them has done it more than once .

Is it just me, but I would never say this to anyone, whatever age they were?

Opportunities reduce from you right late 20s onwards
Waiting which opportunities? I haven’t noticed this. I’m 53.

I thought 49/50 was middle aged. Certainly not old.

I do think it depends on the person though; I know quite a few vibrant/youthfully over fifties and some weary/worn out under 30s.

I always ghink of it like this:

Young- 0-29
Middle aged- 30-59
Old- 60-89
Elderly- over 90

Yep, rude or just clumsy social skills.

Goodness me, 50 is bright, beautiful and young! It seems to be an age where women, at the moment anyway, who had kids are finally getting free of them and so are getting their own indépendance and time back. After going through the couple of decades before it’s also a big confidence boost, be proud, you made it! I think 50 year olds (I’m in my thirties) seem in good physical shape and have really got it together. Thirties are all over the place, without the feeling of well it’s twenties, I’m still a kid!

70 is all about the person, mind and body. If you are lucky with health and you have a positive active attitude, it’s bright and young!

Jennifer Aniston, 49. Looking good, living young, that’s 49!

Bugger that, I've just turned 69 and I love the sound of that. First time my age has sounded sexy. I'm not old. Mature maybe bit definitely not old.
At 49 I wasn't yet in my prime. OP you need to divest yourself of friends/colleagues or whatever they are who pathetically think you are old. Believe me, the best is yet to come.

Old is not 30's! It's at least 65 if not 70. If 30's was old then we have a lot of old women becoming pregnant (I am in my 30's and pregnant, I am not old!)

I would categorise under 50 as young, 50-70 as middle aged and 70+ as old. Even then I would struggle to classify some 70+ year olds as elderly. I could easily classify certain 50-60 year olds as elderly with their attitudes though.

people feel it is okay to refer to you as “old”

Only rude people

I had a friend in their nineties who had to move into a retirement home and didn't want to because it was full of old people .

On MN you are worthless if you are over 35, and if you dare to be a baby boomer you may as well be shot.

Elderly comes before old.

Well, I'm 60+ and I don't look, dress, act or feel old.

Even those of us who are grannies don't sit clutching our shawls around our scraggy shoulders whilst rocking in front of the fire any more.

Improvements in health and welfare and the fact that we all live longer now should shift our ideas of when middle and old age start.

Absolutely NannyOgg. I'll be 70 at the end of this year. I'm active, lively and in good health. I'm interested in the world around me and I have a lively sense of humour. I don't feel 'old', I don't dress 'old', although I'm not mutton dressed up as lamb either.

I also don't have a shawl to wrap around my 'scraggy shoulders' - love that image.

'Old', is to a great extent, an attitude of mind I think. The people who called you old at 49 OP must think of themselves as old if they're a similar age to you, and maybe they are old in their minds. You obviously aren't.

Some people are born middle aged. Let them get on with being old, and you can get on with being in your prime. Ignore what they're saying.

Old at 49? Ridiculous.

How rude! Of course you're not old!

I think that 65-75 is early old age as most people are still in reasonable health and able to enjoy themselves; 70-79 is mid-old age as some age-related health issues start to become more of a problem and 80+ is truly old BUT I wouldn't label anyone 'old' as it's just so rude!

Imagine a 49 year old man being labelled as 'old', it just doesn't happen!

Also bear in mind that biological age and chronological age are two different things- you can have the body (heart health, muscle strength, lung capacity etc.) of a 60 year old at 80 and vice versa.

Oh no! I cannot believe someone referred to '30+' as middle aged!

My definitions:
Youth- 18-24- at this stage the brain is still developing!
Younger adult- 25-36
Early middle age- 37-45
Middle Age- 45-54
Older middle age- 55-64
Early Older age- 65-74
Mid-old age- 75-80
Old old- 80+

Isn't it all about state of mind? I have a close relative who is the sort of person who's been waiting all his life to get old! He revels in it, he was old at 35! Now he's in his 60's he is positively ancient - dresses like it, talks like it, acts like it!

If you said to him he was old, he would say 'thank you'!

A young woman came to my door the other week and I was aware that she thought of me as old. It was a novel experience but one that will become more common in the years ahead. Personally I'm enjoying the perks of being in a more mature age bracket, but I'm not yet old except to a young persons perspective.

I'm nearly 60 and don't feel it or look it!
I'm not dead yet!

I sympathise OP, as I have this at work. I’m 37.

For those who say it's an attitude of mind, well it works both ways, for those who label those of a certain age as old, and those who feel themselves as old or not. They rarely coincide.

For the poster who said it wasn't rude, it was a "value judgement", well the "value" is a decidedly negative one. So yes, rude for the most part.

Seeing as the retirement age is now the later 60s, we need to re-think what old means, as the government has.

Unfortunately, at the moment, none of the connotations of "old" in the UK is anything other than pejorative/patronising/marginalising in ordinary conversion.

When I'm stuck as to how to describe a person who appears to be older than me by some distance, I say "older", and only if I have to, when NDN/Jeff will not do. I do this with some caution as the ravaging effects of the Australian sun cannot be underestimated.:o

What's wrong with being old?

I refer to myself as “old woman category” for races. I am 50. I run with a lot of younger women, so it’s just my way of expressing it instead of saying FV50. Of course there are much older women than me out there and they get upmost respect and call me a whippersnapper. It’s all perspective.

I call my Dad “Old Man” sometimes when he does something a bit daft and we are laughing about it. He is very healthy physically but his mind is getting a bit hazy and he knows it. He prefers to laugh about it rather than be too serious.

Old at 30??? I certainly wasn't, I'm still not 15 years later, and I don't intend to be for many years yet.

The only time I've ever thought 30 was old was when I was 14 I can clearly remember thinking 26 was 'getting on in years'

I think its pretty normal for teens to think everyone over 25 is ancient and past it, but why the fuck would a 30 year old consider their self to be old? That's really sad and not normal at all IME

I know plenty of 70+ women who are not old, they are full of energy and activity and life. That'll be me, thanks very much.

I'm only 35 but spend a lot of time with university students. They think I'm flipping ancient!

Depends on the person to me. In my team everyone is your kind of age (I'm 26) and a couple of them are quite 'old'. They don't wear very 'fashionable' things and nor very timeless things, and they aren't very resourceful with technology at our fingertips either. Equally, my mum is 61 and she seems a lot 'younger' but working with my current team has opened my eyes a bit more, I didn't think 49 was old but I will get splinters on the fence now! I think if they're the same as you it's not really rude, but if I said it to my team it would be.

Oh dear jubbly I was a 'mature student' at only 27, and the other students often mistook me for the lecturer. They probably think you are very 'elderly'

Sorry jubilly that should be