To buy DSD's mum a gift for her baby shower?

[ChevalierTialys]

DP is against the idea but I don't see why not. Would this be weird?

I get on with her, we have inside jokes and never argue. We don't spend time together in person but do message fairly regularly and I do all handovers. DP doesn't have any direct contact with her as they cannot stand each other and every conversation turns into an argument. He does talk to & text her DP though (DSD's stepdad) and they never have any issues.

I'm not invited to the baby shower, didnt expect to be, but I think it would be a nice gesture to get her something. I probably wouldn't do it behind DP's back, if I was really adamant I wanted to he wouldn't stop me, he just doesn't like the idea and thinks it would be strange. Would be nice for DSD as well, she will be at the baby shower of course so will be able to pass it on. DSD is 11 so not oblivious to how things are among her parents.

I wouldn’t, as not invited, but buy her something when the baby arrives.

Just buy it with DSD and make it from her, that way it's not awkward but you've still had the nice thought/fun choosing it.

That's nice of you to want to buy her a gift

I agree with PP I think you should go with DSD shopping and buy something from her that way her DM will know you went with her and helped her and once babies born you can take a gift

I think it is a nice idea. I think if you want to then you should

Thats a good idea, I just put that to DSD, about going to buy a gift for it from her, she loves the idea.

Next question is what to buy! Shes having a girl, this will be her third.

Is probably just get her something once the baby was born.

I'd not is

I got my DSC’s Mum a gift for the new baby... we don’t get along but it got it from the children. She was very much appreciative. I just saw it as it’s for the baby off the children nothing to do with either of us on a personal level.

I’d wait until the baby is born.

No one yet expressing outrage about a baby shower for a third baby?!

I think that's lovely you want to eat something. I would probably do as pp have said. Go shopping with dsd and pick something out.
Maybe both of you choose a nice babygrow or blanket and also get a few practical bits like muslins, nappy cream, a nice bedtime bath wash, a baby book, teething toy, anything like that really.

I also meant to say maybe get a little something from you when baby is born?

Eat something . *Get something.

to be fair to her, both her older children came along before baby showers were a thing in this country and her friends decided to do one for her this time as she doesn't plan to have any more.

YADNBU

I think it’s a lovely idea.

Of course your DH won’t agree (he can’t stand her) but if it makes DSD happy, surely he can see the logic.

Ideas: books for baby, always think they’re sentimental (Peepo is my favourite), candle or meal out voucher to her favourite restaurant/cafe, that way DSD can also benefit before baby comes.

Lovely idea. I'd give it to your dsd to give her.

Not unusual either... I'm currently hooking a rainbow star blanket for a lady doing the exact same thing.

Just buy her something once the baby arrives. Buying it for the shower might be seen as passive aggressive! I bought a nice candle for DSSs mum when she had her daughter, and she brought my son a present when we adopted him. Me and her don't have a particularly good relationship (she hated me for years, possibly still does but we have always been civil for DSSs sake) but seemed the right thing to do.

NelleB that's really good of you considering you don't get along. I've found the trick to getting along is to always make it about DSD

Buying it for the shower might be seen as passive aggressive I hadn't thought of that! DSD likes the idea of going together to buy her a gift so hopefully it won't look that way as it'll be from her.

A gift from DSD to the baby is a lovely idea! I saw some beautiful onesies in next recently that had "little sister" on them. Anything along the lines of a onesie or book is a lovely idea.

Maybe buy something consumable? Like baby products from child’s farm (generally ok for eczema)?

@TestingTestingWonTooFree I hadnt heard of those. I'll look into that as her other daughter has sensitive skin so could be the same with the new baby.

I love the idea of the "little sister" onsie, that will be a cute gift especially because it will show it's from DSD, and once baby is born you can give somthing from you and your DP I know you said they cant stand each other but it will be a lovely thing to do

www.next.co.uk/xo51048s1#688032

The little sister onsies are super cute but I'm fairly certain she'll already have one. When they announced the baby, they gave both older girl big sister t shirts and I think they bought a matching set

Dont' buy anything for the shower as it might look a bit passive aggressive if you weren't invited! Though obviously it wasn't meant that way. Buy her something at a later unrelated date or after the baby gets here.