AIBU to not pay for fence?

[Takingafence]

New NDN - not even in house yet- mentioned months ago in passing he wanted to make fence higher. He asked DH if he would contribute to which DH demurred and evaded answer.

Now after months - and still no fence- have received a quote from NDN itemizing bill. It's too much for us and tbh we already have a fence just not high enough for NDN. To put it in to context we installed new lower fence a few years ago and didn't ask our old neighbour for money as it was us who wanted the fence. Used to be a hedge there and too much maintenance. AIBU?

I would agree with dh saying "no thanks we have a fence".

Where I live the rule seems to be the fence with its back towards you (i.e. the bit with the supports) is your fence.

@Fruitcorner 123

OP according to mumsnet its the height of rudeness to accidentally kick your ball into the neighbours garden. My mum sometimes had 4 balls in her garden in a day but she didn't mind. She was pleased to hear the children playing outside and happy to let them come and collect their balls. Funny how in real life most people are far less grumpy than on mumsnet

I work from home. The only access to my garden is through the house. I'm sure you'd appreciate how disruptive being disturbed to retrieve footballs every time would be. I collect at the end of the day and return.

I think that's a pretty reasonable compromise.

Another vain attempt to dispel this myth: the responsibility for a boundary, as shown by T marks on deeds or following the traditional "to the right" rule, has nothing to do with fencing. Whoever wants a fence puts one up and pays for it. Whoever pays for it, owns it. Whoever owns it, maintains it. Other things can be agreed between neighbours, but nobody can say "this side is yours, you pay".

Deeds don't always show who is responsible for fences. Ours have no indication at all. 20 year old house and even the developers were non commitall about responsibility, all we could get out of them was...you have to assume joint responsibility

To clarify the part of fence NDN wants to heighten not to stop footballs going over, access to his garden but to protect his privacy. There was a hedge and we removed it and the fence installed is 6 foot. There is a smaller fence that NDN wishes to be higher and he asked DH about it.

The quote is too much and DH will speak to NDN when he sees him face to face.

For context the neighbors on our side to us have a low wall and today one of their D.C. kicked ball into oit garden. I returned ball and haven't ask them to contribute to a fence!

If it's already 6 foot, he can only raise it by another 6 inches unless he gets planning permission. Is he planning on doing that?

NDN hadn't mentioned planning permission yet.

The quote would be cheap if it was for whole fence but it's just for lower
fence I think. It's under 6 feet.

But presumably part of wanting privacy is not having balls hitting you when you are sunbathing and not having neighbours looking over the wall asking for balls all the time?

I had similar situation once. We got on well with old NDN and had a low wall and even a gap in it so we could get into each other’s gardens easily. They left, and new NDN wanted privacy. It was my boundary to maintain. He was also in the trade and could get materials cheap. We agreed to have a lovely high quality 6ft fence, we split the cost on materials, he put posts up and we helped stapling slats on. Everyone happy! We got a fence we could never have afforded, he got privacy! We didn’t HAVE to do it but it worked out great for everyone in the end.

I would tell him very nicely but clearly in writing that you like the fence the way it is and you won't be contributing to a new one. If he argues or whatever you can tell him that he's free to build another fence within in his own boundary to his own requirements. I would also point out that as you paid for the existing fence it's your property and to do with how you wish.

If he wants to runaround getting "proof" that you need to pay for his higher fence let him. He can knock himself out.

If his quote seems expensive, he probably isn’t planning to do the work himself, or is expecting you to pay him. If you wouldn’t mind having the work done, you could negotiate 50% of materials only or something like that?

All good points. I wish we had just replaced the whole fence we removed hedge and wouldn't be a problem. I can see benefit of making all the fence higher too.

We also used to have a shed when old NDN lived in house and it provided privacy however we have dismantled it. I could buy a new shed for the cost of a fence and it still works out cheaper!

When we moved into our house there was a three foot boundary fence between ourselves and next door's property. We had a dog who could jump the fence, so we had a six foot fence arrested on our land. It was our choice and our expense to have it done. We popped round and let next door know when it was being done and asked if they would maintain the boundary fence as we would not be able to access it. This was the extent of their involvement.

@Sunnymeg you sound like a good neighbour and dog owner. NDN had a dog so possibly why they want higher fence too.

Thanks

Update new fence is up and we haven't contributed. Told NDN if he wanted to go ahead it was fine.

So glad we didn't pay as found out from other NDN, new NDN has been bad mouthing us. He hasn't even moved in and already relations are strained! At least I can't see him over the new fence!

Result!

Too right! I thought if we give him an inch will take a mile.

Maybe he's been warned about the footballs...

Nice one!