AIBU to hate the lack of privacy in my garden?

[readysetcake]

There is only a shit chain link fence 2ft high seperating us and next door. This is the second summer in the house and last summer it was never a problem as we had elderly neighbours that rarely used the garden. Now we have a family with 3 kids and their extended families around every sunny day all day in their garden. Which is fine and great for them. But I feel really uncomfortable in my own garden as they can see everything I do and vice verse.

It is their boundary and they have said they are thinking of getting a fence but these things are expensive and they don’t seem that bothered (probably as they have strength in numbers). My DH and I have discussed putting a fence on our side but we can’t really afford it having spent a grand fixing our car . I suggested a reed screen and DH didn’t seem impressed. DH also seems to worry about upsetting them if we put something up as if it would say they we were not happy they hadn’t done it or it’s anti social in some way.

AIBU to really want some sort of fence so I don’t feel like I’m being watched. Is it anti social? Would it upset them? Should I care? Do t want a bad relationship but do want to be able to enjoy my garden.

Thanks for all the replies! Food for thought. Thinking some sort of bamboo/ reed screen is the way to go. Got a quote for fencing and was £1400 . The exposed area is about 4-5 meters then goes to shed and tree. We own and they are HA next door. They’ve spoken to HA, but HA won’t put a new fence in as there is an intact (albeit shit one in place). I don’t want to live here for years as I don’t like the area, so planting things and waiting for them to grow isn’t really appropriate. Wonder if we could put in some small posts to attach screen to so we don’t have to attach to their fence? Anyway thanks again, very helpful suggestions and links

You can buy bamboo plants in large pots that are quite tall, we looked into it when we had an issue with our neighbour magically appearing up a ladder to maintain the gutters whenever we went out and they are quite reasonably priced

Love the idea of using a double washing line to create a screen of sheets. Great idea, never heard of that before but rather clever. Try that, OP!

You can get pack 4 fence panels from screwfix for £80ish. Wack in fence posts. Job done. Just do once side of that's what you can afford for now

Framey Advice from the RSBP:

"It has become increasingly clear that Buddleia davidii can be highly invasive. It produces lots of small, light seeds, which spread extremely easily. It can grow in many places, even in cracks in buildings several floors up.

Buddleia davidii can form thickets in places like disused industrial sites and railway sidings, and natural habitats like chalk grassland. These places support a large number of invertebrate species, some of which are rare and endangered. B. davidii can quickly cover open ground – which means those special species can no longer live there.

But it's so good for butterflies!? Yes, Buddleia davidii can attract many butterflies, but if it is at the expense of rare invertebrates that would otherwise be living there, it is preferable to plant non-invasive flowers for the butterflies to nectar at.

If you like your Buddleia davidii, you don’t have to remove it. But prune it severely as soon as the flowers have faded – that means it doesn't have a chance to spread its seeds. Remember to dispose of the prunings properly, not by dumping them over the garden fence. And when your Buddleia davidii dies, consider replacing it with non-invasive shrubs."

I hate fences when they block light. I live in a place where you relish the sunny times. The neighbours with the high fence are really nice - it's their second/holiday home - their fence really affects my access to sunshine. It has been really difficult to get on with the neighbours the other side - it would have been so easy to put up a fence instead - but I'm glad I didn't.

I put the effort and tolerance in to be able to live side by side with them and we get on without fences now (just 18 months it took).

As you don't want to stay where you are - temporary fencing for sure - leaving options open for the next occupants.

Bamboo/laurel?

😁😁😂 Petulant.

It is preferable to plant non-invasive flowers for the butterflies to nectar at

I can't believe "nectar" is now being used as a verb.