AIBU to hate the lack of privacy in my garden?

[readysetcake]

There is only a shit chain link fence 2ft high seperating us and next door. This is the second summer in the house and last summer it was never a problem as we had elderly neighbours that rarely used the garden. Now we have a family with 3 kids and their extended families around every sunny day all day in their garden. Which is fine and great for them. But I feel really uncomfortable in my own garden as they can see everything I do and vice verse.

It is their boundary and they have said they are thinking of getting a fence but these things are expensive and they don’t seem that bothered (probably as they have strength in numbers). My DH and I have discussed putting a fence on our side but we can’t really afford it having spent a grand fixing our car . I suggested a reed screen and DH didn’t seem impressed. DH also seems to worry about upsetting them if we put something up as if it would say they we were not happy they hadn’t done it or it’s anti social in some way.

AIBU to really want some sort of fence so I don’t feel like I’m being watched. Is it anti social? Would it upset them? Should I care? Do t want a bad relationship but do want to be able to enjoy my garden.

Put up a washing line and hang out your sheets on the days you want to enjoy your garden. You can also attach a lower line to attach the bottom of the sheets, so they don’t annoy you, when flapping about.

If they are thinking about fencing, and you would dearly love fencing, could you suggest going halves with them?

They might be worried about the cost themselves, and jump at the chance.

It might make it a more affordable option for you.

Sell it to them as you being kind and considerate - you're about to buy a ferocious guard dog and are worried it'd jump the existing fence, for example.

I would like to have a fence too for privacy. However some nosey neighbours would even hang over a fence of the maximum height i.e 2 metres or 6ft 6 in to be nosey.
Where I am dividing fences and hedges are shared featured but some wont comply with the legal issues of sharing the costs.
Desert Island? if only I could

Sounds like your dh is being the problem tbh. Get the reed screening or plant some bamboo or something. I do understand where you're coming from though.

www.aldi.co.uk/expanding-laurel-leaf-trellis/p/076344205486200

Aldi are selling these again, we bought a few last year and they're great for screening. The closed up size is 1m x 2m but they expand to a bigger size.

Even if you can't afford a full run of fencing could you afford a couple of panels? Lots of new builds do this to show the separation of gardens for semi detached or terraced houses.

It could give you a bit of privacy.

And I don't see why your Dh feels that your neighbour's feelings are more important than yours. Most people have some sort of fence or hedge between them and the neighbours. It isn't weird, you are legally entitled to put up a fence on your side of the boundary.

This just highlights that although someone is responsible for a boundary they might not wish to fence it/repair a fence on it.

We have offered to go halves but the guy wants to do it himself as he knows someone that can get him cheap fence panels .

Glad I’m not BU in wanting privacy. DH is a bit odd when it comes to not wanting to offend people and has very occasionally put people other than me first. Which is a bit shit but I decided that the things I love about him outweigh the negative. If I wasn’t massively pregnant I’d go and buy something myself. I’m almost 38 weeks and cut the grass today it nearly killed me 😂

My washing line is full of sheets positively!

I think you'd need to come up with a savings plan for a fence, research the approximate costs involved and start a monthly plan. Even if takes a couple of years at least you'll know you'll get a fence in the end which must feel better than feeling helpless and miserable being unable to relax in your garden.

As for worrying about the neighbours being offended if you put up a fence, that's unlikely I think. I'd be delighted if a neighbour put up a fence for their privacy because it means my privacy is improved as well, I'm pretty sure most people would think this way. You could also argue that it would have a positive impact on their house value if they have a garden that enjoys privacy (only if they remove their chain link fence of course...)

Can you create a private area, rather than trying to do the whole length of the garden

You can get planters with trellis at the back although some of those are quite pricy, or some very cheap pots with live bamboo in, create a curved wall of plants and arrange your seating looking the other direction to them. There are also those obeslisk things you can grow something like green beans up.

I'm not really sure how the screening stuff would stay up otherwise

Even if you can't afford to fence the whole length, you could fence off a smaller patio sized area in an L or U shape to give yourself a more private area to sit out in.

Or find one of those beach windbreaks with a middle finger motif all over it.

Agree with others that have suggested part fencing. I used to have a really long garden but I didn't want to enclose the whole lot because there was a lovely sense of space with the low fencing. I just had the patio fenced and then put some trellis across for even more privacy and left a six foot gap opening into the rest of the garden.

Diagram:

Have a look at Wickes willow garden screening.,
A lot cheaper than actual fencing and would give you privacy.

Save up for a fence if it means you can use your garden in privacy. For the price of a fence you are getting your garden back.

I agree with one poster , wind breaks are a good idea , sometimes aldi / lidl sell them , you would have to either fasten them to the fence or 'plant' them in your garden or tubs of soil/sand .
I bought a 5 foot high 6 foot long one from go outdoors last year it was £50 which is a lot but the privacy it gave us while camping meant it was def worth every penny
Is the house yours or do you rent it ? if you rent ask the landlord if they can help . if the house is yours could you apply for a grant or ask for £££ help due to your disability ( a stretch I know but no harm in asking )
or do you know anyone with a big dog that you could borrow !

or when kids are watching you say to DH ,
YOU 'do you ever get the feeling you are been watched'
DH yes
YOU that house next door is haunted
DH yes it is , i can here kids crying sometimes
YOU we need to get ..... around he loves haunted houses
DH yes I will ring him
YOU remind him to bring that electric poker

and on and on

It sounds like your neighbours are going to fence it themselves in time, if they're talking about doing it themselves and know someone who can get cheaper materials for them.

I'd wait it out tbh, and wouldn't do anything to make the gardens any more private for fear of them becoming even less bothered than they already are.

Barbecue, garden parties, sitting outside a lot, trampoline, big dog, a pile of stuff waiting to go to the tip should all sharpen their focus.

ooh can you create a 'wall' with sheets on your washing line ?

Oh gosh, I’m really sorry to read that, can’tcope.

Ok, alternative long term suggestion/pipe dream: keep a lookout on your local FB or gumtree/freecycle site and someone giving away a shed? Many times when someone is selling homes (esp in summer), the buyers may stipulate the owners dispose of the existing shed as part of the sale for whatever reason (we did for example because previous owners put a shed in a bonkers part of garden on unsafe foundations, though there was probably nothing wrong with the actual shed. And there was plenty of space in the garage for all the shed stuff so we didn’t actually need it.)

Rope family/volunteers/charity help / anyone you can think of to help disassemble and reassemble it at yours for no charge.

I know, not easy. Plan and scheme.

If you put up a shed against the boundary, you can turn it into a little summer house facing away from them. Start a Pinterest board to daydream:-)
she shed ideas

How long is the space. How about a few 6 footers close to the house so you can sit out and then some 4 footers further on. If you do the work yourself it really isn't that expensive
A basic six foot is only £18. Or so.

My neighbours have the same problem and they have put up a kind of raffia/bamboo fence

This is a very tough one ! I wouldn’t spend for a full fence but you need a barrier of some kind ?

Or plant Buddleia which grows tall and bushy super fast and has gorgeous purple or white flowers... and attracts butterflies

Eeek, don't do this. Buddleia is an invasive weed and will choke out your other plants.

This is full of ads, bit has some good ideas. I love the upcycled pallets filled with flowers.
diygarden.co.uk/landscaping/garden-screening-ideas/

planters with bamboo.....as a cheaper option recycle some wooden pallets into a soil bed and plant quick growing tall stuff

My friend had this and she fashioned a barrier with some pots and trellis, hard to explain really but it did the job. Also the reed /bamboo screening is so cheap and effective as we have used this ourselves but it will need tying to their fence, will they be ok with this?

Eeek, don't do this. Buddleia is an invasive weed and will choke out your other plants.
I have 3 in my front garden and they're just fine. I cut them back by half every year and they're shaped like trees. For a fast growing, cheap screening hedge you could do worse.