To not want to go back?

[crispysausagerolls]

NC for this as it's fairly specific...

I had my first NCT class this week and it was a total disaster. Firstly, the lesser issue is that what I was hoping to get out of the class differed so dramatically from everyone else that it probably wouldn't be particularly helpful to go back - several people in the class had 4 weeks or less until their due date but had 0 baby items and no idea about anything, really none at all. Hadn't done birth plans etc. This itself is completely fine/up to them but I am a complete obsessive and I have finished and bought everything/read every baby book known to man so I think it is potentially a waste of time to sit for 10+ more hours to hear about things I have already been told or read or bought.

The main issue however is the instructor. She fed SO MUCH misinformation to the class yesterday that I have 0 faith in anything she says, so how can I take her seriously/trust in what she says? She directly went against what my GP and midwife plus EVERY BOOK has said re several things. E.g taking Lucozade Sport into hospital to keep you hydrated. She was saying they contain caffeine so bad idea. A quick google determines that this is a lie. Or that the average first time active labour is 16 hours, when it's 8. She also ridiculed the idea of eating dates to soften the cervix, although several midwives have recommended it. The list goes on and on. It actually annoys me as people who are not as well informed will just blindly follow her incorrect guidance.

I really wanted to make mummy friends and I was hoping to learn additional information, but as I have no faith in this woman now and I think the class is at a different place, preparation-wise, AIBU to just not return to the class? How would I even explain not returning?

dp told our neighbours we’d had a girl

LOL! Sounds totally worth it though - well done and I hope you got to wear the nightie afterwards

This prompted a memory for me. While in labour (I was having a home birth and it went on for 36 hours) I googled the average labour time. I thought, great! It's been 8 hours now for the first stage. I was 2cm at the time.

Threw the times right out the window right there and then hehe.

Just to add a different point of view I was really glad I had a birth plan with my first labour. The midwives read it and used it as a guide when they were discussing options with me at different stages. While it may not go to plan there may be things you feel strongly about that you won't remember when you are in labour. For example DH cutting the cord and DH telling me the sex not the midwife. Also things like whether you want the injection for the placenta or wait and push it naturally.

I love my DH dearly but I doubt in the tired excitement he would remember what I wanted but it's part of the midwife's job.

And not all labours have problems and complications.

If found my 'wanting everything to be perfect' did turn into slight obsessiveness and PND. It would be wise to manage expectations and it won't be 'perfect' but it will be wonderful.

Fruitcorner123

I think this is why people push birth plans, just so there is something to represent us in our "normal" state as opposed to whilst squeezing out a baby! it won't be 'perfect' but it will be wonderful. - this is a truly beautiful sentence

I have to say that we weren't that impressed with either the content of the course or the nct woman BUT we met some awesome people and we've all kept in touch so far (my baby just turned one) and they've been a really good group of friends. Maybe you expect too much of the course but see what you think of the people (disorganisation aside) perhaps?

I don't know if people read updates but I wanted to come back and say a huge HUGE thank you to everyone for your advice - I went back to the class and it was really much better, and I definitely feel like I could make some friends there. So thank you!

Good. Good luck with the next weeks

I'm not doing NCT for all sorts of reasons, but everyone I know who has done it tells me that they zoned out of the teaching part and just focused on bonding with the other couples as best they could. You've paid the money (which is a lot, in my opinion) so unless it's going to wind you up I would keep going. Just politely pay no attention to the teacher, and do your own thing. Hopefully there will be one or two mums to be there you will gel with that will make sitting through it worthwhile.

I thought the whole point of NCT was to make friends with other parents in the same boat???? I half listened to what the classes were about I couldn't tell you anything of note 3 years on. But we met some lovely people we still see regularly for coffee and BBQs, our children enjoy lots of playdates, the Dad's go to the rugby etc. Priceless!! My advice chill out about it and herd everyone to the nearest pub pronto!!

Gosh OP you sound like hard work with high expectations. No wonder you didn't like it as you obviously know far more than the instructor and have nothing in common with the other mums to be except for the fact you are pregnant. What exactly did you expect to gain when you already know it all? I completely agree that information should be correct but you seriously need to chill out before you turn into one of 'those' mothers.