Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope that all parents who put photos of their children on FB/Insta/Twitter end up getting sued . . .

436 replies

Harumphy · 03/05/2018 14:14

. . . by their grown-up children for breach of privacy.

Children have absolutely no say or control over what is shared by their parents, or with whom it is shared.

My family member has posted, on her public Instagram feed, her son's full name, date of birth, and every waking moment. Now that information will be out there for anyone to consume. At best, this could erode the boy's sense of self-esteem, security, and privacy. At worst, the data can be used to commit identity fraud or give a stranger the information they need to socially engineer access to him.

And I don't care if you say that you get consent before you post anything, because children don't have full knowledge of the context of their decision. They are not cognisant of the whole range of risks.

I also don't care if you say your FB/Insta/Twitter is private. Social networking sites are porous. Facebook in particular is never private, and the data you share will never be expunged.

I think it's not your place, and it's not your right.

OP posts:
angelfacecuti75 · 04/05/2018 17:42

Don't need your permission or anyone else's to share cute pictures of my kids, with my friends and family only , to show them how he's doing. He's a lovely kid and very loving, so I would doubt he's going to sue me. If you don't want to pictures up , then don't , simple as. Don't judge others for not doing as you do -live and let live a bit.

Confusedbeetle · 04/05/2018 17:42

interestingly there is a law against it in Italy, my Italian friends are appalled that it goes on in uk

angelfacecuti75 · 04/05/2018 17:43

Ps I'm well aware of the dangers of social media , I worked in social care as admin , that's what privacy settings are for x

Tillybilly1 · 04/05/2018 17:45

A post in school uniform, a post when they are born, a post of you doing up house, few innocent posts becomes information stranger knows where to find a child, their age, name etc... I think there should be more education on privacy and the basic rule that you have to have consent if taking a photo and how a private profile does not mean those photos are limited to your friends.

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 04/05/2018 17:45

theres a law against it in Italy?
Thats news to me.
My family are Italian and on facebook and regularly like pictures of my child etc
None of them have ever passed comment on it expect to say they liked something!

KingHenrysCodpiece · 04/05/2018 17:49

shash1982 Thanks!Grin MN is lethal when you're in a grrr mood, best to step away from the keyboard..... Here's Winehoping you feel moreHalo today!

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 04/05/2018 17:52

Yaaaaaasss!!!! I'm so glad to see someone else thinks about this too!! And not even just photos (which I personally don't post many of and mine are teenagers)but the personal information that is put out for absolutely anyone to read!

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 04/05/2018 17:54

"Liking"a pic has nothing to do with what OP is even talking about.

dejectedharry · 04/05/2018 17:58

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/facebook-fines-woman-son-photos-post-social-media-court-italy-rome-a8155361.html here's an article about children that have challenged their parents on photos on Facebook. Apologies if it's already been posted. But everyone saying my child won't do that to me, do you think these parents thought that their children would do this to them?

IronMansIronButt · 04/05/2018 17:59

One child, in Italy, not children plural.

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 04/05/2018 18:01

Shame on you!!!!! LOLOL!😉
I actually agree with op in that things get shared that should not be.And some day these moms might end up apologising to their kids.Or it may be even more common place by then...
But posting pics on IG of your teens and someone got onto you, they need to relax! They are teenagers, you got this down!(I have 3 teenagers 😵)

dejectedharry · 04/05/2018 18:01

In the article they reference three different cases

Charolais · 04/05/2018 18:03

There was a blogger I knew who shared every moment of her children’s lives with the public. She’d even post pictures of the going to the toilet. The biggest one pooping (she said) in the regular toilet and her sister next to her pooping in a little potty. She thought it was cute.

That was 10yrs ago and I wonder if she is now following them around to get snaps of their first kiss etc. lol @ stupid mother.

NCbecauseIdontwanttooutasaman · 04/05/2018 18:05

doug I think you are the dear. If not then I apologise for answering on your behalf walkthroughthefire

A youth prosecuted his parent over his images being posted online. To quibble over which laws he did it under is pedantry, but I assume that you disagree. I think that this will happen more in 5 years, you disagree. That you disagree with me I really don't care. If my opinion is proved wrong in 5 years I really don't care either.

KingHenrysCodpiece · 04/05/2018 18:07

Liking"a pic has nothing to do with what OP is even talking about

Well I think it does play a part. Like buttons are not built into social media pages by accident. There is a psychological pay off when a person receives a lot of likes (which equals approval) for a post. That feeling of approval makes people feel good, and then some people kerp posting for more.

Goldilocks3Bears · 04/05/2018 18:08

Facebook will have ceased to exist long before my kids can afford a solicitor.

I sense there are underlying issues to this and you may need to reflect on why your "friends'" kiddie updates are making you uncomfortable enough to think it is a legal issue. It's a pretty extreme position which is why you've had so many responses to say YABU. Social media can be bad for your mental health and I think you might need to take a break as your post is downright hostile, and indicates latent depression.

Have a nice weekend, enjoy the sun, don't log on, drink some wine, get laid. Anything to take your mind off other people's lives, please.

Strongmummy · 04/05/2018 18:09

I tend to agree with you. I don’t put pics of my son online. He’s adopted and I am very aware of birth parents using social media to find him. I also don’t think it’s my automatic right to do so. I don’t “own” my son and he has not consented.

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 04/05/2018 18:09

I don't think parents should necessarily be sued by their children,but I'm sure there are situations where that is appropriate. I know someone who is the "President of (daughter's name)Fan Club". That's how she introduced herself to me.It was actually incredibly uncomfortable how she went on but I let her because I wasn't going to be rude.Only much later did I find out she also has an older son,which has NO fan club.So imagine what all she puts on FB.🤔😱

MarchMum1 · 04/05/2018 18:11

While I don’t wish family breakdown/other horrible things to happen to people that do post pics, I do agree with OP on this. Other than a brief announcement at birth (which contained a pic where you can’t see DS’s face, just a bundle of blankets really) I haven’t posted any pics of DS and won’t be doing so.

DH and I discussed this before DS was born and we agreed that his digital identity is for him to sort out when he is out enough. Anything we put online potentially stays out there forever. Friends and family seem to understand as long as I keep the pictures coming privately by WhatsApp or email. I know we are in the minority on this though. It’s a tricky one - our children are the first generation to have this sort of exposure so it’s hard to know how their lives will be affected by social media. When I was that age all there was to worry about were a few dodgy photos in albums at my parents house that thankfully only made it off the bookcase once every few years!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/05/2018 18:13

I agree with you to a degree, OP. Children aren't possessions and their images shouldn't be put on social media without their consent (which they can't give as children).

But people do. Self-absorbed? Yep. Deserving of being sued? No.

ForalltheSaints · 04/05/2018 18:15

Facebook will have ceased to exist long before my kids can afford a solicitor.

If only that comes to pass....

Goldilocks3Bears · 04/05/2018 18:16

As a side-subject, I'm quietly hoping that all the dudes that sent me unsolicited dickpics will get some sort of evil data harvesting calamity upon their twisted souls.....

I might start a thread on this one day....

Namechangedname · 04/05/2018 18:16

Does it work both ways..my grown up children put photos of me on FB when I was little?!

Snowman123 · 04/05/2018 18:27

Family rule here. No photos shared on social media or anywhere else without permission.

Mainly for my own privacy more so than the kids! Many a time I've been snapped in my PJs!

cheeseismydownfall · 04/05/2018 18:37

I agree with you OP. No one from our generation has had to grow up with this being our reality and to say that there is absolutely no possibility that our adult children won't like their childhoods having been shared like this is incredibly naive. I can't see a huge issue with the odd holiday or first day of school picture, but to share their daily lives publicly IS a massive invasion of their future privacy.

Screening a candidate's social media footprint is completely standard practice in recruitment now. Who knows how else our children's data will be used. I am really surprised by people who think this is not a big deal.