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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope that all parents who put photos of their children on FB/Insta/Twitter end up getting sued . . .

436 replies

Harumphy · 03/05/2018 14:14

. . . by their grown-up children for breach of privacy.

Children have absolutely no say or control over what is shared by their parents, or with whom it is shared.

My family member has posted, on her public Instagram feed, her son's full name, date of birth, and every waking moment. Now that information will be out there for anyone to consume. At best, this could erode the boy's sense of self-esteem, security, and privacy. At worst, the data can be used to commit identity fraud or give a stranger the information they need to socially engineer access to him.

And I don't care if you say that you get consent before you post anything, because children don't have full knowledge of the context of their decision. They are not cognisant of the whole range of risks.

I also don't care if you say your FB/Insta/Twitter is private. Social networking sites are porous. Facebook in particular is never private, and the data you share will never be expunged.

I think it's not your place, and it's not your right.

OP posts:
12PurpleSnails · 03/05/2018 14:15

😂

InanimateCarbonRod · 03/05/2018 14:16

Apt username OP Hmm

MizCracker · 03/05/2018 14:17

They're just photos, dude 🤷‍♀️

Hideandgo · 03/05/2018 14:18

You’re right! All these souls being stolen by the devil!!

Original poster
Harumphy · 03/05/2018 14:23

They're not just photos though, are they? Not to the kids. And I am astounded by the lack of empathy.

Something that seems innocuous to you may be deeply embarrassing for your child.

'"I was with my aunt in the park. I was wearing my scarf but I didn’t have a pin. It flew off and my hair was all raggedy, sticking up all over the place. My auntie put it on Facebook. I was so embarrassed I was crying."'

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/05/parents-posting-about-kids-share-too-much-online-facebook-paula-cocozza

OP posts:
justabunchofbunting · 03/05/2018 14:25

YABVVU

is it your place and your right to tell other parents what to do?

is it your place and your right to dictate what other people define as privacy?

We all make decisions for our children until they are old enough to do so for themselves. Peoples standards and decisions will differ. Your way is not the right way for everyone and their families.

You dont like facebook or social media and dont want your kids on it? Fine dont put your kids on it.

Absolutely ridiculous to have this level of vitriol against other parents who have differing views.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 03/05/2018 14:25

Yep because all their own teenage posts won’t be embarrassing at all....

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 03/05/2018 14:26

Imagine wishing total family breakdown and life-ruining legal actions on anyone Shock

Mia1415 · 03/05/2018 14:27

Blimey! I'm going to be in trouble in the future then. My son is on facebook, twitter, instagram, my blog and youtube.

I've also posted pictures of other children with him (with their parents consent.).

Maybe I should be suing my parents for allowing me to be in the newspaper and interviewed on the radio when I was younger.

Copperbonnet · 03/05/2018 14:28

Children have absolutely no say or control over what is shared by their parents, or with whom it is shared.

We do actually give our children a say and control. We don’t post any picture of them in FB without their consent. We also agree that certain pictures are for WhatsApp to Grandma but not for FB.

I agree that some people do overshare. No just in terms of pictures but in text too.

I doubt it will lead to court cases against parents though. You can’t sue your parents because they were idiots can you?

justabunchofbunting · 03/05/2018 14:28

and I think if a child has become so alienated from their parents that they start legal proceedings against them then there is ALOT more than a few photos thats gone wrong there.

Idrinkandiknowstuff · 03/05/2018 14:29

Ahhhh, you’ve been reading the Guardian. That explains it.

Bluelady · 03/05/2018 14:30

Oh dear.

Littlepond · 03/05/2018 14:30

I don’t even put up photos of my kids on the walls of our family home. Someone might look in the window as they pass. In fact I make my kids wear masks when we go out so members of the public can’t see their faces.

MadMags · 03/05/2018 14:31

😂😂😂

MissionItsPossible · 03/05/2018 14:31

Whilst somewhat hyperbolic, I actually see your point somewhat OP.

Let consenting adults (or those over 13, is it?) do whatever they want but as you said, someone's life is being documented from birth and an online profile is being built up of someone that isn't even old enough to be allowed to use it.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 14:31

I put up loads of photos of my very cute cream and white Syrian hamster. I violate his privacy.

DougFargo · 03/05/2018 14:31

I was with my aunt in the park. I was wearing my scarf but I didn’t have a pin. It flew off and my hair was all raggedy, sticking up all over the place. My auntie put it on Facebook. I was so embarrassed I was crying.

What a whiny ass.

Andthatsthat · 03/05/2018 14:31

Did I really just read all that?????

YABU. Are we to ban photography for our schools websites? For local newspapers? Sports teams? All this is out in the public domain with consent being given by parents, much the same as social media.

It’s all out there! Confused

MissionItsPossible · 03/05/2018 14:31

Didn't mean to use somewhat twice. Hmm

SharronNeedles · 03/05/2018 14:32

I do have a friend actually who has posted pictures of her child since she was born 10 years ago so we have essentially all seen her grow up. Her photos are so posed and fake, everything is snapped, filters on everything and when I've been out with her, her daughter always asks for pictures of her doing stuff and watches for likes and comments. She gets upset if she doesn't have enough likes. It's sad.

But OP, you're post is ridiculous

Booie09 · 03/05/2018 14:33

Another one getting offended for everybody else...who are you to tell everybody what they should post!! If you don't like it don't use social media.

MadMags · 03/05/2018 14:33

Sharron, that is Sad and ridiculous.

Extreme, too. But there always extremes in life.

Original poster
Harumphy · 03/05/2018 14:35

expatinscotland I also put loads of photos of my pet on Instagram. Because he is an animal, and not a person.

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 03/05/2018 14:35

OP I agree with you to an extent.

Personally I don't agree with posting pictures of children online, not because of identity theft or any of that. Just because I hate enough photos of me growing up that I would hate them to be online forever more. I didn't like my parents having some up in the house where only people there could see so why would I want all of my DCs ones up accessible in whatever way forever.

I don't say anything about this to my friends who post every moment of their DCs everywhere though because I know it's not my place. I just think some people don't thibk about how they won't be children forever and might not be happy about it.