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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel a little annoyed.

48 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 13:42

I arranged to meet up with a friend and I've sat in Costa for the last hour waiting for her only to have her cancel on me at the last minute we arranged all this last week and it's not the first time she's chosen to wait until the last minute to cancel. Just feeling a little annoyed and like I've had my time wasted yet again.

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 03/05/2018 13:43

You were unreasonable to wait a full hour! But yes very bad form of the friend

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2018 13:45

So did she cancel last minute and you were n hour early or she cancelled an hour after you were due to meet?

I'd def distance myself if former and a repeated pattern / non emergency.
I'd go berserk if it was the latter

Manyfridays · 03/05/2018 13:46

God 15 mins is my max and after 2 lates I cannot be arsed with people unless they have lots of small children or work in emergancy services 🤣

BrightonCalling · 03/05/2018 13:47

Shes not your friend.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 13:48

I got there at the time we where suppose to meet at I text to ask where she was and it took her an hour to reply and say she wasn't coming no emergency just sorry can't make it. Why wait that long to say something when she's had a week to say that she wouldn't be able to make it. Just annoyed me slightly.

OP posts:
FatBottomedGal · 03/05/2018 13:48

Massively unreasonable of your friend. I have a huge issue with people who are late/ flakes. I'd be avoiding for a while or telling her exactly what I think.

Wolfiefan · 03/05/2018 13:49

Don't arrange to meet up again. She's not a friend. She's a rude flake.

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 03/05/2018 13:49

And what did you reply to her message??

BrightonCalling · 03/05/2018 13:49

I think it should be more than annoying you slightly!!!

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 13:50

Brightoncalling your right she's not really much of a friend.

I wish I hadn't bothered making plans now. I've had people cancel before but that was because they had double booked themselves or I've had to cancel due to being unwell but I have never left it until the last minute that just seems a bit rude.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 03/05/2018 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 13:52

I've not replied to her message yet because am feeling a bit angry about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 13:53

I will do zzzz are people really this rude though.

OP posts:
BrightonCalling · 03/05/2018 13:53

I would just text: "Not on."

DontCallMeCharlotte · 03/05/2018 13:55

Text her back:

"Why?"

LagunaBubbles · 03/05/2018 13:55

Dont let her treat you like this.

Maybeicanhelp · 03/05/2018 13:57

Don't text her, ignore.

And wait for her to text you again, and ignore again.

If she gets annoyed, then she might understand why you are annoyed.

If she doesn't get annoyed, then problem solved and you haven't wasted another second of your time on her.

mavismcruet · 03/05/2018 13:57

I’m cross on your behalf. I used to have a so called friend who did this type of thing. She clearly doesn’t respect you or your time. I’d be more then slightly annoyed. Sorry op BrewCake

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 14:00

I don't think I'm going to text her think I might just forget about her and not bother to make any more plans with her I have better friends who don't flake out on me. I'm going to chalk this up to some people are just that far up their own arse that they don't realise how rude and flakey they are.

OP posts:
witchofzog · 03/05/2018 14:02

Your friend is an arse hole. If you don't call her out on this she will think it is ok. I agree with the "Not on" text

justabunchofbunting · 03/05/2018 14:02

I know a lot of flaky people and am also flaky so I always have a back up plan if I am meeting someone. I would not wait an hour for anyone or expect them to wait for me that long. Next time wait 15 mins and then get on with your day, unless they message you to say an actual time they are coming late.

I would text back and just say that she should have let you know at the actual time so that you werent waiting. No need to get extremely angry about it. Im sure shes just careless and its nothing personal. Shes maybe one of those people whos terrible about timekeeping. Next time just dont waste your time waiting if you havent heard anything. Its totally reasonable not to wait an hour if youve had no contact. Its reasonable not to wait at all if youve had no contact!

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 03/05/2018 14:02

Thank you mavismcruet no she really doesn't she seems to think it's ok to make plans and then change her mind at the last minute. Well I know not to make any more plans with her. Just don't understand why people think it's ok to do this.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 03/05/2018 14:02

Sounds like she's not even tried to contact you and she'd have left you still there if you hadn't have texted. I'd have a break from this friend and YANBU to be annoyed. But don't give her anymore brain space.

witchofzog · 03/05/2018 14:02

Tell her not on and THEN ignore

AmazingPostVoices · 03/05/2018 14:04

That was very rude of her. There is absolutely no excuse in the days of texting not to let someone know in advance that you are going to be late or have to cancel.

My rule of thumb is that I will only wait 15 minutes unless I have heard from you.

I don’t think I’d be rushing to see her again.