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Original poster

To not get him a wedding present

39 replies

foxpink · 03/05/2018 12:50

My husband has a business that operates from where we live, it's in farming, 5 guys that work for us, one of the guys is getting married on Saturday, but he hasn't invited any of them to the wedding day or night, which is totally fine, however do I get him a card/present, he hasn't spoken to the boys about the wedding at all in the last few months, but did before it's a bit weird, it's not a small wedding, we think that he was planning on leaving but whatever he applied for he didn't get, so prob thought he wouldn't be here wedding time, my dh asked him if he was thinking about leaving and he said no, but we know he was as the someone else outside of work mentioned it. He can leave no problems, but I don't want to be rude in not getting him a card, and would I put anything in it? but he's being weird and obv doesn't want any of us involved, so should I just not bother ? But then will he get even more weird if we don't get him anything, the guys don't think we should do anything and aren't concerned in the slightest, but I'm not sure, it's only a small team, and it's where I live! He's has worked here for over 3 years.

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 03/05/2018 12:51

I wouldn't if you're not invited

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/05/2018 12:52

Him looking for another job has nothing to do with him getting married. If it's only a small team and he's worked for you for over 3 years, of course you should get him a card. Whether or not you also get a present is up to you!

HermesAndPinot · 03/05/2018 12:52

I personally wouldn't bother.

I make huge efforts for people's weddings - when I am actually invited.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2018 12:54

Card, no present. Maybe even a shared card if the others will sign it or sign it off the team

19lottie82 · 03/05/2018 12:55

I agree with the fact that he may be looking for another job doesn’t have anything to do with his wedding.

I’d get him and his wife to be a card and a small gift or voucher. Would be pretty shitty not to IMO

Original poster
foxpink · 03/05/2018 12:55

Ooh good idea, a shared card sounds good, !

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 03/05/2018 12:55

You're a very small firm and he's your employee. At the very least it's a nice gesture.

NWQM · 03/05/2018 12:57

I think too that you should take the High Road and send a card with perhaps a nice bottle of wine / fizz.

Original poster
foxpink · 03/05/2018 12:57

If he hadn't of been acting the way he has, I would of gone all out with a present /money card, etc, but he's making it all odd.

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 03/05/2018 12:57

Weird! I'd get him a card and a bottle of something. If it makes him act even weirder then that's on him.

Nanny0gg · 03/05/2018 12:57

No. I think there should be a card and small gift from you and your husband.
What his other colleagues do us up to them

Eminybob · 03/05/2018 12:57

I would do a whip round with your staff.

I got married and invited no one (it was a secret wedding) but after announced it my team at work gave us a present and card. Completely unexpected but lovely of them.

redcaryellowcar · 03/05/2018 13:00

Although you say he's acting weirdly, maybe you should try acting normally? If a colleague was getting married most work places would send a card, maybe one signed by the team and (unless the business was going through period of strict austerity) a present or gift card would be nice. My last work place bought lovely picnic set for me when I got married, it's a lovely reminder of a great team I worked with.

PotTheRed · 03/05/2018 13:01

I’d do a card and pop a voucher in it. Maybe £50? I’d ask if anyone else wanted to sign the card.

Catstar123 · 03/05/2018 13:04

I would as his boss - irrespective of if you've been invited or not. A card and a bottle of champagne or maybe some cash.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2018 13:05

£50 is a fair sized cash gift off one person, might feel a bit pa

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2018 13:06

Bottle of fizz from Lidl

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 03/05/2018 13:06

I would give him a card. Being me I'd also give him a present but I certainly don't think you're under any obligation to - a card is fine!

VladmirsPoutine · 03/05/2018 13:09

I think not getting a card would be rather petty. Him not inviting you or planning on leaving is neither here nor there. He's your employee and it is a good gesture.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 13:10

Get him a bottle of fizz and a card. £50 is a lot for many people to 'pop' in a card for a wedding they're not invited to.

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 03/05/2018 13:12

As an employer I would give my employee a card and gift card. I wouldn't expect to be invited to the wedding necessarily.

drumandthebass · 03/05/2018 13:18

I agree with others - a card signed by everyone and a bottle of champagne

londonrach · 03/05/2018 13:22

A large shared card which everyone signs. Thats what we do. If you could stretch to a present a bottle of cava from everyone. No more needed than that. Its a token present.

Original poster
foxpink · 03/05/2018 13:23

So I've just popped the shop, got a card, put £50 in and found a nice champagne set,
Will give it to the others to sign later

Thanks I didn't want to do nothing, just trying to guess what he would of preferred .

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 03/05/2018 13:25

No offence but if it's your husband's employee (you imply it's not a joint business) isn't it your husband's job to figure this out & sort out the card/present?

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